The other night
I spent all of my tears & paid all my prayers,
I had hoped it would end it all.
My pillows
cashed in the huge streaming check
from every drop my eyes spilled.
My blanket held me down
while both thought took turns
throwing hard punches & kicks
at every square-inch on my body.
Then
my bones crunched
with every attempt
to fully drain the hope-
-ful air in my lungs.
I could only lay there.
Twitching out breathless cries,
rubbing blood out of my eyes
& taking it all in for the whole night.
The following day
I brought these thugs to work
but no one else seemed to notice.
My doctor tried to numb me with pills,
& I must admit
although they did work at giving it all the cold shoulder,
it didn't take long
before I struggled to use my shoulder
With their knives & spears steaked into my skin.
Every night now, I sleep to their stories
& their bullying,
eyes-wide,
cut-throat,
focused on breathing all night.
I thought I could fake my way through it all
but now
these noices have started making sense
& I
don't know why I'm breathing anymore.
Aug 30, 2018
Aug 30, 2018 at 3:42 AM UTC
Please don't think I freaked out or ran
I want you to know that there has been fire in my lungs
Since the last time I tried to love,
That the universe of your presence
Presents me with constant constellations
When your eyes spark
& That gravitational pull, you have me wrapped on
Your laugh, which you hate to hear.
I want you to know that
These heated flames cease present in the essence of your presence.
There is no air I breathe when you are near
For darling
Your hairs are galaxies
& My fingers are but comets & meteors
Traveling through this cool journey without destination.
I want you to know
That this song in your chest will always be my favourite rhythm,
With it's low-end cut synthesized *****
That puts the wind at your mercy
& leaves tastes of your lips like Hershey's
I want you to know
I have never felt more free
than when I'm in your constriction
& I will love you in every language.
Apr 1, 2018
Apr 1, 2018 at 5:57 AM UTC
How am I
To Confess
The increasing feeling in my breath
Plus
The beating of my chest
When I am with you
Sleeping,
Eating,
Watching & dreaming.
How am I to admit
My conscious of a thousand souls all talking at once,
Of you & I & love & feelings.
These voices overpowering, I'm sure you've noticed my nose flare
& all because I want to tell
Of how I want to love you
& how I'm just so scared.
Mar 12, 2018
Mar 12, 2018 at 7:54 AM UTC
Ch:
I'm ghost
Slow, we'll fall again
To cope,
I hope you call my name
I'm ghost
Slow, we'll fall again
To cope,
I'm throwing me away
Jan 10, 2018
Jan 10, 2018 at 6:46 AM UTC
V1
Let's take time
To sort our lives so we can grow
You'll be fine
I'm just not alright, & I hope you know
Please give me time
To heal the times I hid my pain
Fleeting life
I don't want to try & it's such a shame
- But I don't want to die when you call my name
Jan 8, 2018
Jan 8, 2018 at 4:44 PM UTC
What’s sad is things will never be the same
& we won’t ever see how it could all be.
You don’t know yet that all of this will fade
& I will only be a memory…
Jan 2, 2018
Jan 2, 2018 at 3:48 PM UTC
Dear Mental,
You're hurting me
& I can't take the 3rd degree
burns much longer.
Please don't ponder more guilt
This tilt you've made up
is hard enough to flip off
& you make me never want to wake up!
I'm tired & you know
& if it's demons in my head
chasing for a new home
you won't like my mental throne
too prone to failure
& if you won't go
just
Shut The **** Up
& Leave Me Alone!
Regrettably Yours
Fake Optimist
Dec 29, 2017
Dec 29, 2017 at 7:00 AM UTC
Dear Mental,
I understand, you hate me
So know the feeling is mutual
Because when I wish for you to silence
Your ideas become delusional.
**** you & your intrusions
The truth is
Suicide is your illusion
So spare me the confusion
Since every conclusion you reach
Treats me like a nuisance...
Dec 26, 2017
Dec 26, 2017 at 4:56 AM UTC
Mum says: "At the end of the day, everybody is responsible for their own happiness."
So I'm just choosing to suffer?
...
...great.
Dec 25, 2017
Dec 25, 2017 at 2:39 PM UTC
Dear Mental
**** you! I like who I am & what I do,
Songs I write & hearts I've moved.
Stop replacing good emotion
With regretted locomotions
Old decisions have made me
Worst mistakes have shaped me
& one night stands have tamed me...
Dec 25, 2017
Dec 25, 2017 at 5:54 AM UTC