natalie9 - Hello Poetry

“maybe this time it’ll be different” “maybe we can work things out” “maybe you won’t get hurt” “maybe you won’t catch feelings” “maybe you can control the growing feelings and turn them off” “maybe he’s better as a friend” “maybe you won’t have *** again” “maybe this time around he won’t randomly kiss your face goodbye, leaving you wondering what it meant and wanting more all at once” “maybe this time he won’t tell you he loves you when you’re ******* for the third time that day” “maybe this time he’ll stop talking to other girls” “maybe this time he’ll hide the other girls better” “maybe this time he’ll hurt you enough to stay away” “maybe this time you should just stay away” i’ve realized that the word “maybe” has made its bed within my head and is living there rent free, all because i cant seem to break free, from you.

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Jul 17, 2021

Jul 17, 2021 at 6:56 PM UTC

maybe, just maybe

“maybe this time it’ll be different” “maybe we can work things out” “maybe you won’t get hurt” “maybe you won’t catch feelings” “maybe you can control the growing feelings and turn them off” “maybe he’s better as a friend” “maybe you won’t have *** again” “maybe this time around he won’t randomly kiss your face goodbye, leaving you wondering what it meant and wanting more all at once” “maybe this time he won’t tell you he loves you when you’re ******* for the third time that day” “maybe this time he’ll stop talking to other girls” “maybe this time he’ll hide the other girls better” “maybe this time he’ll hurt you enough to stay away” “maybe this time you should just stay away” i’ve realized that the word “maybe” has made its bed within my head and is living there rent free, all because i cant seem to break free, from you.

16

ashley is dimples and bangs she is freckles scattered from cheek to cheek, the sun never failing to show her love. ashley is shy smiles paired with fiddling hands one moment, a wheezy laugh with an arm clutching her aching stomach the next. ashley is a fixer. she’s like an addict looking for their next head rush, instead of tracking down drugs, she tracks down projects. people who are hurting, drains that aren’t draining, hearts that are breaking. doing anything and everything in her power to mend what she can. she will put the hurting minds at ease with words of affirmation, she will fearlessly rid the drain of the ball of hair the size of a small animal, and she will piece together the breaking hearts with the tape that is holding her own broken heart intact. ashley is strong. unaware of her own strength, and often forgetting that she’s been to the darkest places and back. she is patient. knowing that sometimes you have to endure the bad to later revel in the good. she is compassionate. giving out more love than she receives and willingly doing it again the next day. ashley is unmatched. She will sit with you in the dark when you are unable to find the bright side of things She will validate the feelings that you thought no one would care or dare to comprehend. She will walk into your life and leave a footprint on your heart, making it absolutely impossible to remember what life was like without her. She will change your life without even trying, without even realizing. and yes, change can be scary, but things are never as scary as they seem when you’ve got a best friend like ashley.

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Feb 8, 2021

Feb 8, 2021 at 2:45 AM UTC

ashley

ashley is dimples and bangs she is freckles scattered from cheek to cheek, the sun never failing to show her love. ashley is shy smiles paired with fiddling hands one moment, a wheezy laugh with an arm clutching her aching stomach the next. ashley is a fixer. she’s like an addict looking for their next head rush, instead of tracking down drugs, she tracks down projects. people who are hurting, drains that aren’t draining, hearts that are breaking. doing anything and everything in her power to mend what she can. she will put the hurting minds at ease with words of affirmation, she will fearlessly rid the drain of the ball of hair the size of a small animal, and she will piece together the breaking hearts with the tape that is holding her own broken heart intact. ashley is strong. unaware of her own strength, and often forgetting that she’s been to the darkest places and back. she is patient. knowing that sometimes you have to endure the bad to later revel in the good. she is compassionate. giving out more love than she receives and willingly doing it again the next day. ashley is unmatched. She will sit with you in the dark when you are unable to find the bright side of things She will validate the feelings that you thought no one would care or dare to comprehend. She will walk into your life and leave a footprint on your heart, making it absolutely impossible to remember what life was like without her. She will change your life without even trying, without even realizing. and yes, change can be scary, but things are never as scary as they seem when you’ve got a best friend like ashley.

40

you were like a drug i couldn't seem to get enough of. each touch, each kiss, each sweet nothing you whispered in my ear, was a way for me to get "my fix", a way to feed my growing addiction. you recognized this control you had over me early on, quick to provide a re-up when you saw me coming down from the high loving the power so much that it became your drug of choice but it wasn't enough. my fixation, my dependency, my incessant need, it wasn't enough for you so you took on the role of my enabler pushing the limits of my tolerance so far i **** near overdosed the addiction started to take its toll your touch became rough and cold. your kisses, scarce. and you whispered nothing sweet into my ear. but this didn't matter, I was hooked, and you were in control. I tried to quit, I tried to walk away, I tried to listen to the desperate pleas that came from my family; telling me to come back to them. my friends; telling me they miss me. myself; knowing I wasn't the same. but as my blurred vision started to clear, your face came into focus and your touch softened your kisses covered the scars that you created, and the sweet nothings you whispered in my ear were enough to make me relapse again, and again, and again. and you had control again, and again, and again. n.p.

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Dec 19, 2020

Dec 19, 2020 at 7:14 AM UTC

addict.

you were like a drug i couldn't seem to get enough of. each touch, each kiss, each sweet nothing you whispered in my ear, was a way for me to get "my fix", a way to feed my growing addiction. you recognized this control you had over me early on, quick to provide a re-up when you saw me coming down from the high loving the power so much that it became your drug of choice but it wasn't enough. my fixation, my dependency, my incessant need, it wasn't enough for you so you took on the role of my enabler pushing the limits of my tolerance so far i **** near overdosed the addiction started to take its toll your touch became rough and cold. your kisses, scarce. and you whispered nothing sweet into my ear. but this didn't matter, I was hooked, and you were in control. I tried to quit, I tried to walk away, I tried to listen to the desperate pleas that came from my family; telling me to come back to them. my friends; telling me they miss me. myself; knowing I wasn't the same. but as my blurred vision started to clear, your face came into focus and your touch softened your kisses covered the scars that you created, and the sweet nothings you whispered in my ear were enough to make me relapse again, and again, and again. and you had control again, and again, and again. n.p.

43

do you lay awake at night completely restless thinking of me like i do you? do you wonder if i lay alone or have the heat of someone else keeping me warm, keeping me company? do you think about the nights we spent talking rather than sleeping knowing **** well we both had to work at the crack *** of dawn the next day? do you think about our kisses, the ones you insisted came in threes, and wish you could have just one more just to remember the feeling that came along with them? do you think about the time where we went wrong? where you went wrong? do you think about the words you spit into my face, the words you knew would sear my heart that never ceased to beat for you? do you think about me and get angry knowing i left? do you think about me and get sad knowing you lost me? do you even care? did you ever care at all? or is it just me? or was it just me? i cant help but wonder these things as i lay awake at night completely restless thinking of you. n.p.

0

Dec 13, 2020

Dec 13, 2020 at 11:41 AM UTC

or is it just me?

do you lay awake at night completely restless thinking of me like i do you? do you wonder if i lay alone or have the heat of someone else keeping me warm, keeping me company? do you think about the nights we spent talking rather than sleeping knowing **** well we both had to work at the crack *** of dawn the next day? do you think about our kisses, the ones you insisted came in threes, and wish you could have just one more just to remember the feeling that came along with them? do you think about the time where we went wrong? where you went wrong? do you think about the words you spit into my face, the words you knew would sear my heart that never ceased to beat for you? do you think about me and get angry knowing i left? do you think about me and get sad knowing you lost me? do you even care? did you ever care at all? or is it just me? or was it just me? i cant help but wonder these things as i lay awake at night completely restless thinking of you. n.p.

28

just friends. how does that work when our relationship started so casually? do we just pretend we didn’t stay up all night together, high out of our minds, telling random childhood stories? do we just forget about the flirtatious comments that we always made to each other? do we just ignore the tension that can be felt just from the brush of our hands? do we bury the chemistry that erupts when we’re with each other? how do i just erase the time we spent together? how do i ignore the love i have for you? how do i just not care? how do i stop caring? how do i stop thinking about you? how do you do this? how do you build someone up for so long, yet tear them down at the same time? how do you fill someone with so much hope knowing you had different, dreadful plans for the outcome? how do you know exactly what to say to win me back, to make me think you changed? how do you invite someone in only to shut them out right as they reached the door? i don’t know how you do it. what i do know is we can’t be just friends, because we just can’t be friends at all.

0

Nov 13, 2020

Nov 13, 2020 at 9:33 PM UTC

just friends.

just friends. how does that work when our relationship started so casually? do we just pretend we didn’t stay up all night together, high out of our minds, telling random childhood stories? do we just forget about the flirtatious comments that we always made to each other? do we just ignore the tension that can be felt just from the brush of our hands? do we bury the chemistry that erupts when we’re with each other? how do i just erase the time we spent together? how do i ignore the love i have for you? how do i just not care? how do i stop caring? how do i stop thinking about you? how do you do this? how do you build someone up for so long, yet tear them down at the same time? how do you fill someone with so much hope knowing you had different, dreadful plans for the outcome? how do you know exactly what to say to win me back, to make me think you changed? how do you invite someone in only to shut them out right as they reached the door? i don’t know how you do it. what i do know is we can’t be just friends, because we just can’t be friends at all.

19

I am tired of not being respected, tired of being taken advantage of, tired of being told what to do, tired of being accused, tired of always being wrong, tired of silent conversations for hours on end, tired of wondering why i’m not good enough, tired of apologizing for things that aren’t my fault, tired of your twisting of words, tired of your apathy, tired of your ruthless blunt comments, tired of missing your hot touch on my bare skin, tired of wishing you cared, tired of trying so hard for someone who doesn’t give a **** in return, tired of analyzing my every move for your “peace of mind”, tired of jumping through hoops to impress you only to realize you arent at the show, tired of being on the brink of saying goodbye only for you to win me right back with one of your dazzling smiles and gentle hugs, tired of being spoken down to, tired of feeling small, tired of hiding parts of me that are too loud for you, tired of frowning when i could be smiling, tired of sobbing when could be laughing, tired of hating myself when i could be loving myself. i’m so **** tired. i’m so god **** tired. tired of being tired.

0

Nov 12, 2020

Nov 12, 2020 at 2:46 PM UTC

yawn

I am tired of not being respected, tired of being taken advantage of, tired of being told what to do, tired of being accused, tired of always being wrong, tired of silent conversations for hours on end, tired of wondering why i’m not good enough, tired of apologizing for things that aren’t my fault, tired of your twisting of words, tired of your apathy, tired of your ruthless blunt comments, tired of missing your hot touch on my bare skin, tired of wishing you cared, tired of trying so hard for someone who doesn’t give a **** in return, tired of analyzing my every move for your “peace of mind”, tired of jumping through hoops to impress you only to realize you arent at the show, tired of being on the brink of saying goodbye only for you to win me right back with one of your dazzling smiles and gentle hugs, tired of being spoken down to, tired of feeling small, tired of hiding parts of me that are too loud for you, tired of frowning when i could be smiling, tired of sobbing when could be laughing, tired of hating myself when i could be loving myself. i’m so **** tired. i’m so god **** tired. tired of being tired.

27

our relationship took a quick turn for the worst the corner was too sharp, we overcorrected- crash barely surviving, holding on by a thread. mom says we'll be okay, fighting is just what sisters do... and I believed her the first couple dozen times that is, until it started to become repetitive and meaningless. a fight about taking each others clothes, "it's just what sisters do". an argument about me being too sensitive and taking everything too personally, "it's just what sisters do" a screaming match about our lives and how vastly different they are, how distanced we are, how there will always be a divide, (you blame this on age) but 10 years between us shouldn't hurt this much. now I expect the endless bashing of my sensitivity and my emotionally driven mind I don't bat an eye at the jealousy ridden remarks thrown in my face, and though I can't count on you, I can surely count on you putting me down and holding me there until it hurts and I let you, because that's just what sisters do... right?

0

Feb 23, 2020

Feb 23, 2020 at 3:42 PM UTC

sister, sister

our relationship took a quick turn for the worst the corner was too sharp, we overcorrected- crash barely surviving, holding on by a thread. mom says we'll be okay, fighting is just what sisters do... and I believed her the first couple dozen times that is, until it started to become repetitive and meaningless. a fight about taking each others clothes, "it's just what sisters do". an argument about me being too sensitive and taking everything too personally, "it's just what sisters do" a screaming match about our lives and how vastly different they are, how distanced we are, how there will always be a divide, (you blame this on age) but 10 years between us shouldn't hurt this much. now I expect the endless bashing of my sensitivity and my emotionally driven mind I don't bat an eye at the jealousy ridden remarks thrown in my face, and though I can't count on you, I can surely count on you putting me down and holding me there until it hurts and I let you, because that's just what sisters do... right?

29

I did it I regret it I owned up to it I apologized for it and apologized for it Apologized for it again What more do you want from me? What more do you need from me? What else is there to say? What else is there to do? What else can I do? I won’t apologize I owned up to it Regret nothing I did it. Done.

0

Sep 18, 2019

Sep 18, 2019 at 11:42 AM UTC

gradual acceptance

I did it I regret it I owned up to it I apologized for it and apologized for it Apologized for it again What more do you want from me? What more do you need from me? What else is there to say? What else is there to do? What else can I do? I won’t apologize I owned up to it Regret nothing I did it. Done.

16

i want you but i can’t have you because if i have you i hurt her

0

Sep 18, 2019

Sep 18, 2019 at 11:11 AM UTC

g.w.

i want you but i can’t have you because if i have you i hurt her

4

we’re on the side of the cliff right now you and i one of us is about to jump and create a forever distance between us i used to think you would be the one leaving me on the edge of the cliff at the end but the constant drama, bad talking and hurt that you’ve intentionally caused has not just guided me over the edge but pushed me over the edge I fought so hard for you I wanted to fix things with you But my arms are getting tired My fingers are starting to ache I can’t hang around for much longer I’m exhausted I’m ready to let go I’m letting go.

0

Sep 18, 2019

Sep 18, 2019 at 11:02 AM UTC

just let go.

we’re on the side of the cliff right now you and i one of us is about to jump and create a forever distance between us i used to think you would be the one leaving me on the edge of the cliff at the end but the constant drama, bad talking and hurt that you’ve intentionally caused has not just guided me over the edge but pushed me over the edge I fought so hard for you I wanted to fix things with you But my arms are getting tired My fingers are starting to ache I can’t hang around for much longer I’m exhausted I’m ready to let go I’m letting go.

14