I live with a perpetual companion
An unremitting voice in my head
An amensalistic association
This parasite and I are wed
Not by choice are we inseparable
God knows I've tried to break free
It's constant conditionings of the past
That binds this enemy to me
A chameleon that drains my color
Armed with a tongue spitting and sharp
She dominates my conversations
From morning till noon till dark
Upon the urge to be true to myself
To break free from this mimicking mime
She ridicules, rants and berates me
Until I loose all sense of time
If I grant the power she incessantly seeks
And obey her exacerbating needs
A suicide of sorts slowly takes place
Leaving an empty reflection of me
If I choose to not give her authority
(Which only infuriates her more)
And I start to rewire the pathway she's on
No longer will she bang at my door!
But the question that's left remaining
Will I be okay left on my own?
a companion like she, omitted from me,
Will undoubtedly prove I'm alone.
Mar 14, 2019
Mar 14, 2019 at 11:53 AM UTC
At last we lay silent
under the bliss of Joy
Your body drifting off
into another realm
where calm blankets
your stillness
I watch your chest
rise and fall
listening to your breath
ebb and flow
like the gentle rhythmic tide
as you retreat and return
to the moon sprawled
across your bed
Without interruption
my eyes take in
every aspect of you
I find my fingers
brushing your hair
away from your face
kissing the crevice
between your nose and cheek
settling on your warm mouth
as your out breath emerges
from your lips to mine
I watch as you fall
further and further away
knowing we are separate souls
unable to save each other
from the dark night
but for now we have found a place
for our bodies to rest
in embracing arms
Syncing our heart beats
until day breaks
where we part again
Mar 5, 2019
Mar 5, 2019 at 2:38 PM UTC
Wake up!
It’s time to wake up!!
I mean really wake up!!!
It’s not about the hands on the clock
That tick tick tick tick tock
The clock that never stops
Like a pendulum weighted rod
Reducing peripheral awareness
Routines that seems senseless
Coffee, breakfast, traffic relentless
The hands that clock you in
and clock you out
Never do you stop and doubt
The beat to which you march about
The mind checked out
It’s 5 o’clock somewhere
Drown my mundaneness out
Blindfold and gag my inner shout
My robotic need to march to the monotonous beat
For what will i have but despair and defeat
Oh holy one, save me from my inner beast
My natural instincts would have me feast
On love and lust and defenceless defeat
No boundaries, no walls, just vulnerability
The clock keeps tick tick ticking
The mind keeps click click clicking
Until finally I did see
Beyond its purpose to notify me
of daily chores and deadlines to meet...
It was in the hospital, starring at me,
A clock that asked how to be free
For time is not a commodity
It cannot be sold or bought for a fee
It has to be lived despite pain and poverty
For in the struggles there is also glee
No matter how sad our sorrows go deep
The time that we have is worth it to keep
Unchain that inner beast
For love is a necessity
And lust a natural need
Don’t waist your time on complacency
Live each second, minute and hour
Every day, week, and seasonal flower
Growing each year, knowledge is power
Don’t take one moment for granted
For time is no fairytale enchanted
A seed that flowers and dies
Was originally planted
Feb 11, 2019
Feb 11, 2019 at 1:29 AM UTC
So you are Death
a scavenger of breath
a vulture for pleasure
Preying on life's treasure
Each heart beat you measure...
You, have prettified me to my core
But no more!
Fear will no longer keep score
Today I welcome you at my door
Come in!
Leave your footprints on my floor
To remind me never to crawl
Join me on this journey
drown in my ecstasy
Taste my sexuality
Lose control in my fantasies....
Penetrate deep into my darkness
I have nothing to hide
Come along and alight upon this ride
Just for once jive on this other side
Be alive like a bee hive
Observe and find your mind
Transfixed on love and lust
and bodies entwined
Listen to my excitement mount
as you choke yourself
on my account
Oh Death,
What a mistake I have made!
A coward to my bursting urges to be free
Afraid of your ever presence to be ME
I've been a prisoner of my own judiciary
But now I see like the blind
who sees for the first time
And I accept your crime
I embrace your truth!
I invite you to share the joys of my youth
And beyond
where boundaries no longer bond
Live vicariously through me and persist
Inhale every moment to fully exist!
And when you decide my time is up,
feel the emptiness of this bottomless cup
The excruciating sadness that fills it up
to leave this journey we are on
I want you to forever remember
that once you lived as a contender
Not as a lifeless tree in December
But in full bloom
Fresh from the womb
Life! the greatest gift to be given
Ah to give! and NOT to be taken!
But alas, even you have no jurisdiction
Feb 10, 2019
Feb 10, 2019 at 1:27 PM UTC
Who is Truth?
Is she the raw unabridged feelings that you barely allow yourself to know?
Is she a close encounter between strangers that stir up longing and desire?
Is she a story told that is so magnificent she could pass as a lie because Context was not invited?
Who is this judgement called Truth?
Such complexity and unconscious motivations constructing a tangled mesh of stories entwined...
Where in this beautiful mess does Truth reside?
Is Truth a relative to Social Mores, Societal Conformity, Religious Beliefs and so on?
If so, I don’t want to know Truth…
When I invite Truth in I must also invite Self Exploration. I must banish the enemy within for it has no seat at my table of self discovery...
Truth is the universe full of mystery
and we are infinitesimal cells in the circulatory system...
So i say just enjoy the brief ride and don’t think too much.
Feb 9, 2019
Feb 9, 2019 at 11:56 AM UTC
I stand
at the water's edge
in deep thought
Recognizing
the disappearance
of what was once
solid ground
Voices
that I thought
were my own
echo their warnings
The undertow tugs
at my ambivalence,
waves of thoughts
not to stray
from what I know
How little confidence
this voice has in me
How powerfully
It has influenced
my life
But no more!
Groundlessness
will set me free
Feb 7, 2019
Feb 7, 2019 at 1:42 AM UTC
Darkness haunches over me
The mountains swallow the obsidian sea
A thick chill weighs heavy on my lungs
Like the sinking night
The ocean with no will to rise and fall
lays still to the weight of time
And I, knees tucked tight,
watch the minutes pass by
contemplating, soul searching
as the calvary draws from the east
Arterial red spears pierce the darkness
Copper ink bleeds from sky to sea
casting colour like rose petals
and cotton candy
to welcome the sun
as it’s light drowns out the night
The mountains retreat like watchdogs backing down
The chill lifts
unfreezing the motionless tide
Lovers take to the long stretch
And so the day begins
Feb 6, 2019
Feb 6, 2019 at 10:16 AM UTC
The anxiety I feel is a thunder storm brewing in my stomach
It looms like dark heavy clouds,
wringing droplets of sweat from my forehead like a tightly twisted towel of wet hair
My thoughts are as agitated as a swarm of locusts in their gregarious phase
stuck inside my body
They beat against the curvature of my ribs like paranoid mockingbirds repeatedly warding off their reflections on windows
Fear feeds off the burning acid surging around the pounding fist between my lungs
The tunnel entry to my throat is dry
my breaths short and shallow
I’m drowning in my own inward tears frantically waving my paralyzed arms
I have only myself to save myself
Then, a split in the clouds snatches my attention focusing on searching for safer ground
I methodically breath deep and slow to find my onward way
I look back, exhausted, with a sense of close call, a narrow escape...
Wondering if next time I’ll make it
Feb 5, 2019
Feb 5, 2019 at 11:04 PM UTC