nadia-1 - Hello Poetry

I'm seething By an indescribable hurt An insurmountable pain A never ending ache in the place where my heart used to be. I have just enough cheer to sell it A few more painted smiles and I'm done For the week, Probably forever. I cannot see straight The edges of my visions are blurry And I understand rage. It's not anger Not sadness But a sort of medium. It's an amount of pain, An emotional scab, That took so much blood that you can't breath Can't hear Can't think. Your heart stops And you snap.

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Apr 3, 2015

Apr 3, 2015 at 7:49 PM UTC

Hurt

I'm seething By an indescribable hurt An insurmountable pain A never ending ache in the place where my heart used to be. I have just enough cheer to sell it A few more painted smiles and I'm done For the week, Probably forever. I cannot see straight The edges of my visions are blurry And I understand rage. It's not anger Not sadness But a sort of medium. It's an amount of pain, An emotional scab, That took so much blood that you can't breath Can't hear Can't think. Your heart stops And you snap.

23

I realize I am young I realize I am small I realize I'm mature I realize that I'm really not that mature at all. I realize that I'm chatty That I murmur endlessly I realize I'm not perfect I realize I'm not skinny I realize that I'm funny I could make you laugh for days. I'd say I know myself pretty well. But the hardest thing for me to realize Maybe the hardest thing I've ever had to, Was that you don't love me. That you probably never have And you probably never will.

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Apr 3, 2015

Apr 3, 2015 at 7:44 PM UTC

Realization

I realize I am young I realize I am small I realize I'm mature I realize that I'm really not that mature at all. I realize that I'm chatty That I murmur endlessly I realize I'm not perfect I realize I'm not skinny I realize that I'm funny I could make you laugh for days. I'd say I know myself pretty well. But the hardest thing for me to realize Maybe the hardest thing I've ever had to, Was that you don't love me. That you probably never have And you probably never will.

16

I take the sharp end of the glass To keep you from bleeding And when humpty dumpty falls I put him back together I'm your freakin' fairy godmother I keep your secrets And rock you to sleep With silent melodies and promises of peace And it's draining but I do it with a smile. When I give you my heart You take my lungs and kidneys too Demand an eye for an eye And make me go blind. I'm Atlas with the weight of this Enraging, heavy existence. Punished for I crime I did not commit. I'm your life raft on the titanic But instead of letting me carry you to safety you take a knife and cut away at me thinking you could do better and wondering why we both drown You push me down and rob me of my freedom my life my joy And when I'm just a little bit cranky You wonder why.

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Apr 3, 2015

Apr 3, 2015 at 7:36 PM UTC

Why

I take the sharp end of the glass To keep you from bleeding And when humpty dumpty falls I put him back together I'm your freakin' fairy godmother I keep your secrets And rock you to sleep With silent melodies and promises of peace And it's draining but I do it with a smile. When I give you my heart You take my lungs and kidneys too Demand an eye for an eye And make me go blind. I'm Atlas with the weight of this Enraging, heavy existence. Punished for I crime I did not commit. I'm your life raft on the titanic But instead of letting me carry you to safety you take a knife and cut away at me thinking you could do better and wondering why we both drown You push me down and rob me of my freedom my life my joy And when I'm just a little bit cranky You wonder why.

30

It gets me high The emotion, It gets me high. I live off of it I feed On the energy. The pure raw anger of our last fight Gave me an overdose I'm intoxicated by pushing limits The anticipation I'm driven primal By the hate. I shoot up And ride the high Until I crash. And burn. And crave more.

0

Apr 3, 2015

Apr 3, 2015 at 7:32 PM UTC

Adrenaline ******

It gets me high The emotion, It gets me high. I live off of it I feed On the energy. The pure raw anger of our last fight Gave me an overdose I'm intoxicated by pushing limits The anticipation I'm driven primal By the hate. I shoot up And ride the high Until I crash. And burn. And crave more.

17