There's so many things
I wasn't supposed to see
all I want to do
is put on my black hoodie
walk out
into the dark
hope there's no one
when I step at the very edge
and fall fast into the lake
the cold water will
embrace me
Mar 17
Mar 17, 2026 at 12:02 AM UTC
tears won't let it out
another pill
someone else has said this
when will it fix me
I'm desperate
maybe i should talk to God
the sun hits my face
but I feel no warmth
paralyzed
can't take care of myself
I only feel numb
I worry and fear for my reality
when all the delusions fade
take another prescription
till the pile in the pantry
falls over
soon
someone said
soon I'll feel normal again
for now
I'll work against it
Apr 17, 2025
Apr 17, 2025 at 2:48 PM UTC
i haven't said a word
because took them all
i haven't smiled
because you took my happiness
i used to dream
you'd come back to me
temporary relief
a hello or
acknowledgement would cure me
all i do is sit in silence
all i do is frown
a fixation
i can't satisfy
i wish i could read your mind
look inside
there's no signs of me
no matter how hard i try
i used to daydream
grand gestures and marked meetings
nothing ever happened
it's all in my head
catching all my tears from falling
couldn't go too fast
i didn't even hold on
you slowed down
too late
i was already ahead of myself
what is this called?
heartbreak? how so?
i don't recall giving you anything
you took my smile
and gave me a frown
i couldn't take back my words
didn't you hear me laugh
never made it to spring
didn't see the summer moon
autumn felt like a ghost without you
what's the sacrifice
the price
to be with someone like this
i can't afford it
watched you leave
yet i need to have the last word
hope you smile
if you ever think about it
hope i linger like an ugly stain
you can't wash out
still waiting
counting the days
till you come home
come back to me
once more
Feb 21, 2025
Feb 21, 2025 at 9:32 AM UTC
your sad eyes haunt me
how can you look so miserable
if you're not okay
would anyone know?
if you're not well
would you tell someone else?
your eyes haunt me
you looked so dead
not in a good way
maybe you lost your soul
can't find it?
maybe your heart stopped
did you feel any heartbeats when we talked?
your eyes haunt me
the lonely boy
all alone inside that room
i can't help him
can't make him better
can't give him what he wants either
i had a shoulder for you to cry on
i had space to keep your darkest secrets
i would digest your shame and guilt
but i can't take your ego
your pride
so stay away from me
keep your haunted gaze
far away from me
Dec 20, 2024
Dec 20, 2024 at 2:22 PM UTC
prince charming
will come and save me
because that's how the story goes
I was made to suffer
and for him to be the hero
I wait in my tower
full of despair
rotting away
prince charming
will find me soon
or so they tell me
but I know
prince charming is far from home
he's somewhere playing with someone's heart
I suffer and
wait for my savior
let me die in my bed
waiting for true love's kiss
prince charming
can't you come over
are you busy or did you give up
I'm tired
of this sick
twisted love story
know it's
unfair
god punished me
and made me a girl
with this heavy heart of misery
oh prince charming
please come and **** me
change the story
and end my life
save me
and become the villain
just this once
Jan 24, 2024
Jan 24, 2024 at 11:43 PM UTC
it's not enough
to burn myself for you
it's not enough
to lose my mind and body
it's the missed details
all of the unseen marks
I can't wake up today
so close my door if you decide to stay
I'll hate myself again
when I realize I can only write in pain
here it starts
this is where it begins
from the top to the bottom
of a page
it's not enough
to be addicted
it's not enough
to lose my reality
when all I want to do
is sink further into
a suffocating abyss
this one is different than the rest
it's a different type of darkness
even if it hurts and kills me
just as the others did
Jan 17, 2024
Jan 17, 2024 at 1:47 AM UTC
you've got someone to take care of you
and i do not
why am i giving you love
when you're better off
it's happening again
I'm so used to it
so I let it continue
while it ruins my whole life
gave you all my money
gave you my heart
why am i so wasted
the bottle keeps spinning
you've got someone
to sleep with
and i sleep alone
losing perspective
of it all
of us
where does this leave us
unable to say it
i try and wash it down the drain
i still do it for you at the end of the day
i separate
i let go
why must it be
something hard to process
i want to begin my life
alone
without you
i guess it's hard to
commit
hard to say out loud
the days where
i gave myself up
to stay happy
in our bubble
i want to get out
leaving you
isn't a crime
but it seems
I'm already a criminal in your eyes
nothing i can do to redeem myself
nothing to prove my innocence
you've got someone
you've got something
you've got somewhere
and i have nothing
no one
no where
Jan 17, 2024
Jan 17, 2024 at 1:32 AM UTC
letting the feelings sit
I can't rip them in half
like I did to your note
I'll let them stay
till they rot
in the back room
never will settle
you've got to tell me
to go
before I do it myself
so unbalanced
uneven picture frame
of us in my mind
I wish I could just erase
all the precious moments
I can't get back
unsatisfied
or glorfied
there's no peace
with you
if you could say sorry
would you?
bury me if I asked you to?
Dec 19, 2023
Dec 19, 2023 at 8:36 PM UTC
our winter
is looking blue
just like the last
this is the last time
we'll spend an october together
every day
feels like a countdown
for a sick separation
I know
this is going to hurt
I'm searching for a new home
and you've got your own
he doesn't have a ring
for you yet
hoping he finds one soon
I'll be so far away
by the time
you realize
this is all a big mistake
our last autumn
ending soon
we died faster
than the falling burnt leaves
this is going to hurt
what else can I do
try and move on
no distance
or time
can cure this heart split in two
Oct 25, 2023
Oct 25, 2023 at 9:24 PM UTC