with the way things have been
i never want to write a poem about you
because if i do
then that means that you, too
will have left me with my own thoughts
writing poems about you to cope
with the permanent eclipse that is my life
for i have lost my sun
writing about the darkness hiding the light
that was once mine
Jul 6, 2018
Jul 6, 2018 at 1:46 PM UTC
you make me so anxious.
i don't understand why you don't like me anymore
i mean
i do know the answer
but not in the context that is given
if they have forgiven me
why isn't that enough
why isn't their happiness enough for you
when you say that's what you strive for
you are the thing that makes them this way
the thing that makes them anxious
the thing that kills their creativity
the thing that keeps them from making positive relationships in their life
the fact that i am not able to be in the same room as them makes me sick to my stomach
without their worry of getting in trouble
for asking me how they can help
for asking me what's wrong when no one else would
maybe i'm looking at this all wrong
maybe they don't want me in their life at all
but they're too nice to admit that
out of fear of hurting my feelings
that's never what they wanted
but you couldn't see that, now would you?
Jan 30, 2018
Jan 30, 2018 at 5:10 PM UTC
i sometimes get tired of poetry
poetry that keeps me up at night
thinking of al the wrongs i've done in my life
losing you
hurting them
losing myself
i've learned to like the poetry
poetry that made me think of you
and all the times we've had together
and i've come to realize that those memories should not be forgotten
those memories should be dug up on occasion
on weekends where there is nothing to do
but sit and look back on the good times
Jan 30, 2018
Jan 30, 2018 at 5:06 PM UTC
as i wake
the warm embrace of the sun's heat greets me hello
sneaking peaks through my curtains, not quite yet invited inside
the breeze of this autumn day gives me the chill of a beautiful chorus
the fallen leaves crunching on the ground in respose
these are the times i look back at my life
i stop and say
"things do get better"
Jan 30, 2018
Jan 30, 2018 at 5:00 PM UTC
i’m so lonely
i never wanted it to come to this
i never thought it would come to this
only me to comfort myself
as i’m the most tired i’ve ever been
at 3:00 am
with just me to console myself
Jan 29, 2018
Jan 29, 2018 at 10:13 AM UTC
you cannot tame her
she is as wild and free
as her hair
which i love running my hands through
late at night
when all we feel
is the bliss of each other’s existence
Jan 27, 2018
Jan 27, 2018 at 6:54 PM UTC
i've seen all of you
from your victories
to your anxiety attacks at 3:00 am
i don't think i've ever seen you in ankle socks
Dec 6, 2017
Dec 6, 2017 at 9:45 AM UTC
your breath was intoxicating
breathing you in as we'd lay in your bed
it was us against the world
as i would press my lips against your soft jawline
i felt safe and warm
wrapped in your arms
i felt like we could do anything
i felt in love
i guess i just assumed
you felt the same way
Dec 6, 2017
Dec 6, 2017 at 9:44 AM UTC
i wish i could lay with you
like we used to
to be in you ams
and breathe in your cologne
and be safe
to feel all my anxiety melt away
in your warm embrace
Dec 6, 2017
Dec 6, 2017 at 9:41 AM UTC
4 days have passed
and you're all i've had in my head
a broken record
playing over
and over
and over again
i'm sorry our conversation turned the way it did
i never wanted to tell you
because i had already broken your heart
but i didn't want to lie to you again
you always hated when i lied
i always hated when your collar was up
and you knew that
just to see the face i always made
i bite my lip and fidget with my ring
how i'd love to fix it for you
how i'd love to brush the hair out of your eyes
how i'd love
to hold you again
Dec 5, 2017
Dec 5, 2017 at 11:35 PM UTC