You drained the life from my eyes and took the skips from my heartbeat when you left. You packed my smile, my laugh, my creativity and my optimism in your bags along with all of our ugly memories and you left me with nothing but tears and an endless ache in my chest that I can never seem to mend. You left me to replay every memory of us that made me fall in love with you and now I don't even have the ability to think straight- all I seem to think is how I still love you and how you'll never love me back.
Apr 10, 2015
Apr 10, 2015 at 2:45 PM UTC
Boiling Point
When he's throwing things across the
room at me. When I can hear his footsteps
booming down the hall after me yelling
for me to stop all the way to the
front door. When he finally catches up
to me and yells at me about how running
away won't fix a **** thing, but
bolting is all I know so I keep running
until all I can't hear him any more. Until
all that surrounds me is the noise of
cars passing me as I escape from
both of us.
Room Temperature
When he finds me sitting on a park
bench by the water clutching my
sweater closer to me, shivering in the
bitter wind because I ran out without my
coat again. When he sits next to me and
we sit in silence for what feels like hours.
When he finally speaks and apologizes for
everything, even though we both know
it was my fault. When he pulls me into
his arms and I don't feel the urge to
run away any more. I know the
feeling won't last so I sink into him
and try to let go for as long as I can.
Apr 10, 2015
Apr 10, 2015 at 2:27 PM UTC
You wake up and roll over to the empty space beside you on your bed where he used to lay.
He's immediately on your mind.
You look out the window; it's raining again.
It feels like its been gloomy since he left; like even the sky misses the way he used to light up your eyes.
And when he left, the sun decided to go too; so now you mourn with the sky. You watch with envy as the rain pours from the clouds, wishing you could let go that easily.
Soon it's dark and all you've done is wish he was here with you.
You lay down, leaving an empty space reserved for where he would lay and think tomorrow is a another day.
You've been saying this to yourself for a week now.
Apr 10, 2015
Apr 10, 2015 at 12:42 PM UTC
You're constantly making room for people in your life who just pick up and leave with more than they came with
Hide your heart
Stitch it back on your sleeve
Hold the door open for those that want to go and then
slam
it
shut
baracade the door
before you have nothing left
Apr 10, 2015
Apr 10, 2015 at 11:38 AM UTC
Is the calm after the storm really calm when you cant seem to gather all the pieces of your heart up off the floor of his chest?
Don't be fooled girl
He's just another tornado that will **** up your heart just to throw it back to the ground leaving you in ruins.
Apr 10, 2015
Apr 10, 2015 at 11:29 AM UTC
Stuck between wanting to disappear
and forget that you could ever mean more to me than just a friend
or sticking around to dig a little deeper into your mind,
but when I stay it feels like I'm digging my own grave.
My body's become a graveyard for all the places your hands have touched more than my skin.
You don't visit anymore and the flowers you left have wilted away along with the memories on your fingers laced with mine.
My hands have been shaking since you left, wishing you would come back one last time.
I hope you choke on your goodbyes while you kiss the tombstone that reads "cause of death: your hands" and its not the only one.
She's a graveyard and each cause of death is a different way you used to make her feel alive.
Apr 8, 2015
Apr 8, 2015 at 3:18 PM UTC
He tells me he thinks I should quit smoking.
I tell him I can't because I'm just too dead inside and he agrees,
but doesnt ask for any details
and I don't give them.
I don't tell him that he makes me feel alive,
and if I could make him feel the same, this would be my last cigarrette,
but I know I'll light another one in a couple minutes.
Apr 8, 2015
Apr 8, 2015 at 3:13 PM UTC
Falling in love
is one of the most frustrating terms I have ever heard that ‘they’ came up with
and yet it’s the only thing that I can say
to explain this black hole residing in the pit of my stomach.
And all I want to do is put up a for sale sign where my heart is,
but I don’t think anyone else would want to feel this way.
I know I wouldn’t wish it upon anyone.
My walls have come tumbling down one too many times;
my bricks made out of lies rather than love.
They are no longer painted blue, because like Holly,
I recognize that those are the days when you feel a bit bloated
and there is no ice cream left in the freezer.
Instead the walls of my heart are painted a mean red;
so dark it would take a few tries to get it off.
The floor is falling through and the roof is caving in.
let’s face it, my heart is in desperate need for a fix,
if only I could figure out where to start.
This heart is starting to look less like a home and more like an *****
because my idea of a home left when you packed up your things
and decided you didn’t want to stay.
Apr 8, 2015
Apr 8, 2015 at 2:58 PM UTC
I don’t know who “they” are, but I know that they are the ones who called it ‘falling in love’
I think I understand that term more than ever and yet it still confuses the hell out of me.
There is really next to no sense of love at all – and that might just be the scariest part.
Because when you’re falling in love, all you really feel is the falling part.
Love is unrecognizable really.
I mean does anyone really know what love is when they start to fall for someone else?
That gut wrenching undesirable feeling in the pit of your stomach;
otherwise known as the butterflies,
when really, it feels more like your body has turned into a target zone
for every known natural disaster
and all the ones in between that humans have yet to put a name to.
And maybe falling in love is actually a name for yet another natural disaster
worse than anything we could ever imagine.
Falling is all I can seem to be feeling now a days
and you leaving has a hell of a lot to do with that – not that I blame you for making me feel this way
it’s just that I don’t think this feeling will ever go away.
This black hole has moved from my chest to the bottomless pit of my stomach
and the only explanation I can come up with is that my heart has gotten too heavy.
It tried to warn my head to give up now,
even though Heart is fully aware that Brain could never do this.
I’ve come to know this black hole very well; as it is defined as what truly scares me the most
and when I’m falling in love, I’m only ever just falling.
Apr 8, 2015
Apr 8, 2015 at 2:57 PM UTC
The butterflies in my stomach are trapped
and the only way to get them out is for you to cut me open
and tell me all the things that always struggle to make their way out of your lips
Apr 8, 2015
Apr 8, 2015 at 2:33 PM UTC