what do you do when you have placed your heart in the hands
of who you have come to know as your home for safekeeping,
but those hands that lead butterflies to your stomach when placed against yours,
have left fingerprints on your heart so deep
there are more craters than there is left of you,
to love
Feb 3, 2022
Feb 3, 2022 at 7:22 PM UTC
i dare you to tell me that you have never taken a hot shower
slowly growing colder as time goes on
when someone turns the kitchen tap on
the shower is not the same as it was not long ago
if you sit outside
long enough for a cloudy day
to become a raging thunderstorm
you will notice that you breathe a little bit harder
the air surrounding you has amended
i could list off millions of regular things
things that are so common they often go unnoticed
i could tell you to pay attention
to the suffocating amount of different alterations
or
you could merely accept the reality of change
everything changes
_e v e r y t h i n g_
Oct 10, 2017
Oct 10, 2017 at 12:50 PM UTC
Realisations of common knowledge lurk around us like shadows in the darkness.
Don’t close your eyes. Don’t turn around. Don’t turn a corner too quickly. It’s just the wind. It’s not the same car. It’s too big of a city to find you.
Dear authorities, what are you doing to help?
People from generations before mine have raised their children to be hateful. They have taught them that if they don’t feel like respecting people, they shouldn’t and won’t. I’m sure you’ve guessed this next one, but they’ve let their children get away with a smack here and a smack there to those who don’t obey their every demand – and even to those who do. But I am not the only one. I am not the only unlucky punching bag to experience the hatred of someone much older, more mature, wiser and certainly, not just a kid. Is that it? Is that why you let him go? I was four when it started and fifteen when it ended. To you, that’s a child. Children don’t know much, do they.
Dear authorities, that’s where you’re wrong.
I was four when it started and if you think it stopped at fifteen when my abuser walked out, think again. It never fully stops, not yet. I am nearly twenty years old and I still flinch if someone holds out their hand for a handshake or raises their voice just a notch because they’re a little out of earshot and I needed them to repeat.
Dear authorities, I can’t live because you won’t let me.
Oh, you like Budwiser? Corner Gas, the T.V. show? Do I smell steak? Potatoes baked on the BBQ? You need a plumber? Handyman? Oh look, you’re wearing red. Do you think I appreciate being reminded by the stupidest things, that my abuser is out there? Why is that? Could it possibly be because nobody has bothered giving the man any possible discipline?
Dear authorities, I’m tired of being told, “it’ll be okay, it’s not that bad.”
People after people have continuously told me to go talk to someone. I’ve seen multiple counsellors, doctors, talked to teachers, specialists, friends and family. But what are you doing to help? I moved away from my mother and siblings, in fear. Fear, because every time we moved anywhere the lawyer told us we had to give our address to the abuser. We could not deny him access to us, we could not cut off communication with him. I had to leave, as an attempt to protect myself and hide in a big city with lots of people and hopefully I could blend in.
Dear authorities, you have failed me.
Stop telling me things will be okay, when he is out there and things only seem to matter when a death occurs.
Dear authorities,
Dear authorities…
Dear me, you’re not dead so authorities don’t care.
Apr 3, 2017
Apr 3, 2017 at 4:00 PM UTC
I've written this one too many times in my head, I guess I figured it's time I write it on something more real:
You see everybody's got to fight & trust me that's always alright.
But fighting ain't fighting with you, it's always a little less no matter what you do.
Fights happen when love has temporarily ended; things catch fire when left unattended.
But with you it ain't like that see I don't feel a lack of love when you're around, I mean yeah it sure gets overwhelming but baby that won't ever beat me down.
Even when you're wringing me around the neck with your words like a glove, your eyes, voice, face & body never fail to show lots of love.
It's so **** crazy knowing that even when you hate me, I can see you've never loved me more.
This isn't anything special I just decided it's beyond time we start appreciating the basics; there's nothing hard about the feelings that I see.
The simple truth is you're in love which means you ain't free & until you show me differently well I guess you're stuck with me.
May 3, 2016
May 3, 2016 at 2:40 AM UTC
don't say you won't tolerate liars because seven years from now, on a tuesday night you'll be sitting alone sending forgiveness through the phone to constant excuses that you won't recognise as lies until it's too late.
you'll tolerate anything, for them.
Apr 3, 2016
Apr 3, 2016 at 1:05 AM UTC
Love isn't the endless colours of confusion running through your mind on a lonely Friday night thinking that without them, you'd be nothing.
Love isn't the messages they send you at 4 AM because you're sleeping & they miss your body sprawled all over theirs in a lovely mess of lust & fascination.
Love isn't purely the cute dates in blanket forts with loud music & ugly fights with disagreements followed by rude names.
Love is your best friend who brings you hot chocolate in the summer & ice cream in the winter because you love them both all year round.
Love is the beautiful baby of a stranger in an ugly stroller passing you on the side walk today who happened to be the only one to shine you a smile.
Love is the girl who ordered from you two weeks ago with the most beautiful curly hair & her politeness stuck in your mind as you endlessly wonder if she made it home okay.
It's important to love & trust me I love so many new people each & every day. You should too.
Love someone's shirt because it doesn't suit them but they wear it anyway.
Love someone's smile when it's raining but they're dancing.
Love someone's kindness when they're treated like dirt.
Love someone's eyes when they catch you from across the room.
Love people, every day, all the time. There's something to love in everybody & if you find someone with everything to love in them, hold them close.
Feb 26, 2016
Feb 26, 2016 at 3:58 AM UTC
**** isn't okay & no government or any authority figure should ever be the one to decide if someone was sexually assaulted, or not. In addition, a human's rights, safety, & mental health, should not be taken away or reduced simply because another human or a group of humans have decided so. Kesha Rose Sebert, better known as Ke$ha, is a celebrity who called attention to a situation where she was drugged & ***** & isn't finding justice even after speaking up about it.
Though she was denied release of her contract with Sony Music, meaning she now must continue to work with the man who drugged & ***** her, she has the support & help of millions. This is because she's a celebrity & attention was called to it. But what about those who aren't known? What about those too afraid to speak up because it's a hopeless attempt for justice. What about those who did speak up but the case died in a court room or even before it ever made it to a court room, simply because the abuser has higher authority, more power, or is in some way guaranteed to be found excused by the law?
What about them?
Thank **** she spoke up. But what about everyone else? Justice needs to be served to Ke$ha & also to the many other victims in this world.
We shall not fall under those above us from fear or from the indignity of others.
Feb 19, 2016
Feb 19, 2016 at 7:18 PM UTC
Honestly, I think we all just have these glorified images of how the world should look to us, but none of our images match up & that ***** us all up. We beat each other up for not having the same images, instead of learning how their image works. And when we find someone with an image like ours, we cling to them until our images merge & then we drift. We take the good out of people, like stealing their good images of the world, claim it as our own & then leave the people behind. Are we afraid of monsters, or are we afraid of ourselves? We are the real monsters & the world is our victim.
Feb 7, 2016
Feb 7, 2016 at 5:11 PM UTC
battery is dying
i am crying
the music plays
my mind delays
left all alone
everything unknown
lack of sleep
with thoughts so deep
in darkness i hide
we're dead inside
Jun 29, 2015
Jun 29, 2015 at 2:54 AM UTC
I am not going to promise you we will be "together forever."
I am not going to tell you I love you 'to the moon & back.'
I am not going to say that you look hot.
Instead, I will promise you each day that I will stay the day.
Instead, I will tell you I love you, but show you how much (way more than 'to the moon & back').
Instead, I will glance at you soaking in every inch of your beauty, sit back & shockingly say, "wow."
If I promise you that we will be "together forever," you may get some lazy relationship where we put our effort into the cliché land of time that we call, tomorrow. If I promise you each day, that I will stay the day, then I'm sure we'll get a relationship where we put our all in, every single day.
If I tell you I love you 'to the moon & back,' then I am giving you a limited love. My love for you is unlimited.
If I tell you I love you, & show you how much, I'll spend the rest of my life showing you, & you'll get the rest of yours to see.
If I tell you "you're hot," I'd be understating it, & you would feel like a hunk of meat. Your beauty magnifies, & I will remind you everyday making sure you feel your beauty as I see it.
Jun 17, 2015
Jun 17, 2015 at 5:28 PM UTC