i'll cut my hair
and mark my lips with blood
am I beautiful yet?
i'll grow my hair
i'll bleed I swear
am I beautiful yet?
my nails are long
enough to cut
scars deep enough
for these diamonds
and I don't get diamonds
i'm not beautiful
and god I hate my hair..
can't i just have nice hair....?
Jan 9, 2019
Jan 9, 2019 at 9:25 PM UTC
you're hurt
but it makes me so happy..
i hate this side of me.
Dec 4, 2018
Dec 4, 2018 at 9:46 PM UTC
Why does it always feel like
no one's listening
when I talk?
Dec 3, 2018
Dec 3, 2018 at 2:33 PM UTC
the look on your face
the dress that i wore
the colour i wished the flowers were
and not your heart
the ocean, the skies
the turquoise
and mellow scent of your perfume
that moment we had
my colour blindness
only deceived me
into thinking that it was okay
when you were sad
because you only "seemed" sad
and i might have been happy
and all i cud see anyway was blue
Nov 28, 2018
Nov 28, 2018 at 8:58 PM UTC
We all have our battles to fight.
Please respect all the battles
I've fought.
Nov 28, 2018
Nov 28, 2018 at 8:52 PM UTC
Always playing the victim
but you've been making a victim
of everyone.
Nov 14, 2018
Nov 14, 2018 at 6:04 PM UTC
Jump....
Off this cliff.
Silent voices whisper
Just reach,
Farther,
Below.
Touch the river...
Jump.
Water is blue.
And hate is as black
As love.
Angels don’t exist...
Anymore,
You clipped all their wings.
And if I jump
Now,
I won’t fly..
I’ll fall.
Oct 16, 2018
Oct 16, 2018 at 5:24 PM UTC
I can never cut.
But sometimes I swear,
It feels like wounds are being carved into my heart,
And I wonder if carving these wounds unto my skin
Can relieve it.
This kind of pain you can’t reach;
No matter how far into yourself you stretch,
If I could grab my heart and squeeze it till it is numb;
Like I would if the knife slips;
Till all the red in my finger fades away;
Till all the pain in my heart fades away.
I can never cut.
Except with the words I stick myself with everyday.
You taught me how to self-harm, I took the blade from you,
And convinced myself that it hurts less if I’m the first one to say it;
That if I kept cutting at my heart,
If I kept giving myself scars,
Then the ones you gave me didn’t matter.
And I never let them heal;
The wounds,
They never heal.
I can never cut.
Because for the life of me I cannot get accustomed to pain.
I cannot get accustomed to you hurting me over and over again.
I cannot get accustomed to bleeding inside.
My wounds are too afraid to be seen.
My wounds refuse to etch themselves unto my skin;
To be so bold.
I cannot wear myself inside out;
My pain inside out.
But I swear,
When these wounds are being carved into my heart,
I consider if carving them unto my skin,
Will ever relieve the pain.
Jun 23, 2018
Jun 23, 2018 at 6:54 PM UTC
you're scared.
because you've always lived
in a fantasy you made up
inside your head;
too scared to step out
and walk in your glass slipper;
too scared to go bare feet
on broken glass.
you were Cinderella
in your daydreams.
you thought and you hoped
that real life worked like fairy tales.
you stayed inside your carriage
and you dreamt.
but could you fly on the backs
of those wingless dreams?
no, not when midnight came
and they began to vanish;
not when your carriage disappeared;
your world.
then, struck by darkness,
you trip and fall into life's abyss,
and your glass slipper shatters;
your heart.
Dec 15, 2017
Dec 15, 2017 at 6:51 AM UTC