Once,
I open my eyes,
The world are so dark,
There are no stars,
There's no moon.
While I wonder
where's the stars and the moon at,
The air hit and turn my face,
Towards a group of people
that once
hurt me,
try to **** me every day,
and even made me cry.
In that space and place,
I am watching their body "covered" with fire,
they're dancing in front of me,
THEY SCREAM IN FRONT OF ME,
I couldn't stop smiling,
my heart couldn't stop beating "happily".
Then I watch them swim in a pool,
the pool are full of acid,
their skin torn out "smoothly",
their blood mixed very well,
that's make the "view" more mesmerizing
and I love it.
but
it's disappointed,
it's just a DREAM,
it's only my desire with some IMAGINATION,
and lucky it's only "hit" me once only.
While I'm hoping the dream come again,
my skin torn out
instead of them,
feel like it's never end.
The reality spoke clearly and loudly,
Pain was destined for me.
and I couldn't run from it.
not even a mile.
Mar 17, 2022
Mar 17, 2022 at 1:20 PM UTC
Its begin with an action,
Start with the strongest grip
and hold on to it for a long time.
As much I want to stay strong,
I do feel out of energy and shaking sometimes ha ha.
Wearing a lot of covers,
Layer after layer
hiding all the bruises very well,
Till the day all hits me,
Torn my covers to shred,
I feel so weak naked.
Today is the day,
I've lost my grip,
Feel so weak and lost,
I am alone with a few voice playing,
Couldn't resist less to write it down
To let the thoughts fly and go away,
Then hold onto it over and over again.
With a new thick cover I am wearing.
Nov 18, 2020
Nov 18, 2020 at 10:09 AM UTC
How should I say this?
Wondering how higher this voice will go,
Has been keeping these unsolved questions
all the time with worries and regrets,
I should say it loud
at the moment I had this thought on you,
But you never had time
to have a second thought on me,
Your space, your time and your selfishness
is number one,
My love and my words only like a spell
enchant by a wand,
I wish I could list all the wonders,
But I will start with the first,
"Do you ever love me like I am the only one?"
Feb 1, 2020
Feb 1, 2020 at 5:42 AM UTC
Hey,
Here i am thinking,
Is it a good thing?
Or not ?
Just who i am right now?
Here i am wondering,
Am i on the right path?
Maybe yes or maybe not?
Then when is the ending?
All the questions and thoughts,
They come like bullets,
Dancing like ballet,
Slowly, beautifully and suddenly
its become sorrow.
Lingering around my mind and
flowing through my vein,
Then here comes the precious droplets.
At some point, it'll stop.
Gone with no answer.
With no any tracker.
Then its just me alone,
Looking to sky and hold tight,
Hoping that "Everything will be fine",
Just fine.
Sep 11, 2019
Sep 11, 2019 at 2:54 PM UTC
"Physically" flawless,
makes people be so shameless.
Mentally madness,
because love is the craziest.
Through the sky and the moon,
There are so many beautiful things,
Some of it I couldn't understand,
and some of it not even "shine".
When the night cover the blue sky,
Billions of stars are "blooming",
Billions of thoughts are coming,
And makes me thinking,
"Wish i could count all the stars and all my scars".
Its just at the end of the day,
Let's just put a fullstop for the day cause tomorrow is waiting,
Till the eyes close,
May all the thoughts be my "lullaby".
Apr 3, 2019
Apr 3, 2019 at 2:13 PM UTC
My life be like,
Waiting for your words
to pop up on my dying cell phone,
And every time i lost my words
when you ring on my cell phone,
Maybe this is what i called "crazy feeling",
Yet I just feel normal,
So that's mean I am okay.
At some point,
I enjoy every moment
when i felt like we're "one",
Have this thought that you're the one,
Or maybe i just overthink it?
It's too overwhelmed if i think about it,
It's normal to have a feeling like this,
So that's mean I am okay.
Up until today,
Nobody know the answer,
And at some point the table turn without any of my conscience,
To know that the person you love is disappearing,
It is just not real,
To wipe out all the desire, imaginations and all the moments,
It is my weakness,
May you found the
peace and beautiful future,
So that maybe i can be in your
"life iterature".
Mar 19, 2019
Mar 19, 2019 at 1:09 PM UTC
When I work by myself,
I feel like I am lonely,
Could feel the wind dancing,
Could feel the feelings I should not feel,
Could have thought of million things,
And missing the touch between the other's skin.
While,
When I am surround by people,
Curses become goodnight wishes,
Love become painful and heartless,
Fighting is the main course,
Dark is our source,
And Light is not for us.
What,
What should I choose?,
Where,
Where should I go?,
Who,
Who should I be with?,
The answer?
I still don't know,
I am clueless,
Just following all the endless road,
With heart full of hopes,
May the ending bring all the "pieces".
Feb 11, 2019
Feb 11, 2019 at 11:30 AM UTC
No hope no sob
No women no love
No men no pride
I want no hopes
Cause it makes me choked.
Every time "its" smile,
I am so in love,
Most of the time "they" lean,
My body 's "aching",
But
When the time "they" are gone,
My world becomes dimmer.
A lot of time "its" blurring,
Makes me couldn't see my future,
And every time to say "goodbye",
I could really die.
Yet
I can't run from "it",
I can't hide from "it",
Cause it's will happen like a loop,
And I will always lose,
Move on or still giving hopes,
That's what I need to choose.
Dec 9, 2018
Dec 9, 2018 at 4:38 AM UTC
Where are you?
Where are you at when I feel weak,
All the darkness kept hold me down,
I do not know if I could hold it anymore,
because I know "they" will come more and more,
non-stop like don't know when "they" will stop.
Hey, can you find your way?
The way to touch me,
Makes me feel that "you're" still existed,
I know almost the "inside" surrounded by black light,
but I want you to get out of the dark "maze".
and meet me at my gaze.
I feel so miserable,
I feel so helpless,
I am so weak to speak,
I really want to shut my eyes forever,
And makes "them" disappear until
they're out of number.
Yet still, "they" are good at controlling me,
Am I hopeless?
Maybe yes I am,
but I still want you to know
Dear Mr.Strength,
please come back to my life,
and together we create a better life.
Sep 21, 2018
Sep 21, 2018 at 4:22 AM UTC
walking through a tunnel,
no light no wind,
no sound could be heard,
no "potion" to heal,
search for anything in the bag,
but nothing can be "grab",
face up, looking straight,
no sun to see.
"they" keep pushing me,
like there's no limit,
My soul is so weak
with no any "spirit",
they asked for it,
I keep give it,
need a short break,
from all "those freak".
is this the only path?
maybe yes or not,
give me some light,
to open my eyes,
I know at the "front",
there's always a way to walk through,
lead me to a better tunnel
and have some space,
my wound could be healed,
with an "easy" phase.
Aug 27, 2018
Aug 27, 2018 at 10:02 PM UTC