no
how can you leave now
after swaying my heart
eroding my doubts
and filling those holes
with seeds of dreams
for our future
Oct 3, 2020
Oct 3, 2020 at 9:08 PM UTC
Controlled.
Precise.
Intentional.
There's chaos in my
carefully constructed circle.
Unsure how long
composure can be held
desiring
nothing
more
than
to scream
and
beg
for
help
Oct 1, 2020
Oct 1, 2020 at 8:50 AM UTC
missed calls
texts left on read
_why?_
_how did we get here?_
we went from
obnoxious surpluses of excitement
to crushing quantities of hesitation
and restraint
eyes clouded
as check-marks
turn to green
and active status fades out
unable to move
staring motionlessly at
texts, as unwanted as myself
trapped by a prison of thoughts
gazing through tearful vision
Oct 1, 2020
Oct 1, 2020 at 8:35 AM UTC
unforgiving silence
flesh on vacant sheets
the usual shadow prison
creeps closer
grips tighter
than ever before
relentless
the fingers of uncertainty
restrict thought
this hold it has
won't be leaving
for many moons
as clocks turn
these violent spectres
become increasingly aggressive
until the hollow shell
has become swallowed
by the darkness feared
that under the affectionate guise
was let in
Sep 30, 2020
Sep 30, 2020 at 6:59 PM UTC
nothing
absolutely nothing
brings me more fear
than those two words
never
__again__
Sep 30, 2020
Sep 30, 2020 at 4:39 PM UTC
it hurts
no grand act of betrayal
but the magnitude of minor slices to my heart
found in the lacking of affection
claims of love
feel unbelievable
when overshadowed by actions of doubt
i fear to let go
but fall into the pit of comparison
the past has its claws deeply implanted
into my flesh
not deep enough to bring my end
but only enough to regularly deface my heart
torn
tattered
i forget what i want
but crave that which is lost
rational thoughts plagues my mind
how i attempt to dismiss it
when overwhelming me with the reminder
that the sacred times will never return
Sep 30, 2020
Sep 30, 2020 at 4:30 PM UTC
beating
yet broken
can't find my voice
numbness leaks
from her lacking presence
filling me, eroding my core
overflowing with inaction
unable to breath
drowning in teardrops
and buried in mountains of memories
Sep 30, 2020
Sep 30, 2020 at 4:21 PM UTC
dreamless shadows
captivated by relentless attraction
decay abominably, whilst
melding into graceless frames
forgiven by no moral being
flee these careless spectres
as abruptly as they had begun
to timeless dust they return
as tears dry
and moments cry dire
we'll collide with the sun
and face the silhouettes we'll never become
Mar 7, 2019
Mar 7, 2019 at 4:29 PM UTC
As I lay here alone
Unable to sleep
My comfortable bed
Brings no peace to my mind
I lay paralyzed
Alone
with my thoughts
And as the hours flee
Lay my mind and I
Beside each other, imprisoned
I am trapped
There is nothing I can do
But lay helplessly
As I fight to escape these visions
Who force themselves in
And bring my mind no rest
These tormented memories
Hear not my sorrow
and will not accept my forgiveness
My fears remain restless
And tear at my mind
Until i can take no more
And in my utter desperation
They hear not my cries
They accept nothing
For the burdens of times passed
I can not rid this curse
Forever I lay uneasy
Cowering in my own fear
Crawling before the darkness
Which once promised to lift me up
I would pray for forgiveness
But within this darkness there is no light
How could I even consider that they would forgive me
When I can't even forgive myself
This helplessness
It is eternal
i beg of you
please help me
Aug 17, 2015
Aug 17, 2015 at 8:05 PM UTC
My spirit is chained down
A caged monster
Unable to break free
From the prison I built
In blind attempts to flee
Imprisoned
by my coward'ness
A slave to my fears
In the darkest of nights
The shadows hide my tears
Victim to my own crimes
Truths which I can't deny
For as much as I push my demons away
At the end, on them I rely
Nights hold no compassion
Lay I,
Tortured by what is done
Within the courtyard of my mind
Countless laps I run
My heart may once have been fire
But those flames have surely perished
In the ashes of those ill-spoken
Rest true hearts
Beside those who are broken
Even in pure unforgiving silence
Torment is never far from sight
Eluding heartly conversations
But in my arms at the end of the night
Thoughts are
slaughtered by lost memories
My mind owns no rest
Enslaved to my demons
causing a vacancy in my chest
Aug 3, 2015
Aug 3, 2015 at 6:30 AM UTC