movitaluna - Hello Poetry

I used to wonder if fire ever felt guilty for its destructive nature but if you think about it a star died to put the morrow in your bones and it was Tom Robbins who taught me that fire is just the reuniting of matter with oxygen Everything is temporary and I know everything ends and every end is also a start and out of the ashes of beautiful things sprout more beautiful things but I guess what I'm trying to say is I'm not ready for another beginning or maybe I'm not ready for your next beginning but I can't tell you that Listen, when I was seven I learned to patch up my bones with calcium and superglue but sometimes when the sun comes up too slowly they still rattle when I think about how trivial I am to you and I know you don't want to hear this but it's the truth of my tears and every inch of my skin and .

0

Jun 25, 2015

Jun 25, 2015 at 4:40 PM UTC

I don't know where I was going with this

I used to wonder if fire ever felt guilty for its destructive nature but if you think about it a star died to put the morrow in your bones and it was Tom Robbins who taught me that fire is just the reuniting of matter with oxygen Everything is temporary and I know everything ends and every end is also a start and out of the ashes of beautiful things sprout more beautiful things but I guess what I'm trying to say is I'm not ready for another beginning or maybe I'm not ready for your next beginning but I can't tell you that Listen, when I was seven I learned to patch up my bones with calcium and superglue but sometimes when the sun comes up too slowly they still rattle when I think about how trivial I am to you and I know you don't want to hear this but it's the truth of my tears and every inch of my skin and .

6

He says he loves you and you feel a surge of euphoria. You feel like water that's just been brought to a boil. You feel everything all at once and you feel it violently churn like the ocean inside you. You feel so much that you might burst if you felt anymore. Your legs tremble under the weight of it all. He sees your passion in the way you look at him like he's forest, like he's sunset, like he's mountain. He feels your panic in the way your hands touch him like he's lightning, the way they clutch him like he's lifeline. He squeezes you gently and you realize you've been holding your breath. The words escape your lips in an exhale and you know right then and there that nothing will ever be the same again.

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Jun 18, 2015

Jun 18, 2015 at 6:09 PM UTC

la vie en rose

He says he loves you and you feel a surge of euphoria. You feel like water that's just been brought to a boil. You feel everything all at once and you feel it violently churn like the ocean inside you. You feel so much that you might burst if you felt anymore. Your legs tremble under the weight of it all. He sees your passion in the way you look at him like he's forest, like he's sunset, like he's mountain. He feels your panic in the way your hands touch him like he's lightning, the way they clutch him like he's lifeline. He squeezes you gently and you realize you've been holding your breath. The words escape your lips in an exhale and you know right then and there that nothing will ever be the same again.

1

TWELVE. THAT'S THE NUMBER OF CHESTS I'VE GONE THROUGH - TRYING TO FILL YOUR SHOES OR AT LEAST COVER THE FOOTPRINTS YOU LEFT ON MY HEART BUT NONE OF THEM ARE LIGHTNING OR EVEN MATCHSTICKS NO MATTER HOW MUCH TEQUILA I POUR DOWN MY THROAT. I CALL YOU THE ONE THAT GOT AWAY *BUT THE TRUTH IS YOU WERE GONE LONG BEFORE YOU LEFT AND NOW YOU'RE BACK BUT NOT HERE TO STAY. AND YOU'RE NOT THE SAME AND I KNOW YOU NEVER WILL BE BUT YOU DO THIS TO ME EVERY SINGLE ******* TIME. AND NOW YOUR EYES ARE GOING TO HAUNT ME WHEN I'M ASLEEP AND YOUR VOICE IS GOING TO HAUNT ME WHEN I'M AWAKE AND I'M GOING TO SIT AROUND AND COMPARE THEM TO THE NORTHERN LIGHTS AND NATURAL DISASTERS LIKE I HAVEN'T BEEN DOING JUST THAT FOR THE LAST NINETEEN MONTHS. NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES I NAVIGATE THE BERMUDA TRIANGLE IT DOESN'T GET ANY EASIER AND THE WORST PART IS YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.*

0

Feb 17, 2015

Feb 17, 2015 at 6:38 PM UTC

~

TWELVE. THAT'S THE NUMBER OF CHESTS I'VE GONE THROUGH - TRYING TO FILL YOUR SHOES OR AT LEAST COVER THE FOOTPRINTS YOU LEFT ON MY HEART BUT NONE OF THEM ARE LIGHTNING OR EVEN MATCHSTICKS NO MATTER HOW MUCH TEQUILA I POUR DOWN MY THROAT. I CALL YOU THE ONE THAT GOT AWAY *BUT THE TRUTH IS YOU WERE GONE LONG BEFORE YOU LEFT AND NOW YOU'RE BACK BUT NOT HERE TO STAY. AND YOU'RE NOT THE SAME AND I KNOW YOU NEVER WILL BE BUT YOU DO THIS TO ME EVERY SINGLE ******* TIME. AND NOW YOUR EYES ARE GOING TO HAUNT ME WHEN I'M ASLEEP AND YOUR VOICE IS GOING TO HAUNT ME WHEN I'M AWAKE AND I'M GOING TO SIT AROUND AND COMPARE THEM TO THE NORTHERN LIGHTS AND NATURAL DISASTERS LIKE I HAVEN'T BEEN DOING JUST THAT FOR THE LAST NINETEEN MONTHS. NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES I NAVIGATE THE BERMUDA TRIANGLE IT DOESN'T GET ANY EASIER AND THE WORST PART IS YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.*

1

I'm not looking for comfort but it's also no coincidence that every time someone dies I find myself wrapped in a new boy's arms. Like maybe this one can catch lightning in a bottle or make my pulse mimic thunder again. Like maybe this time his heat on my skin will sear the vacancy inside me shut.

0

Nov 8, 2014

Nov 8, 2014 at 1:52 PM UTC

Untitled

I'm not looking for comfort but it's also no coincidence that every time someone dies I find myself wrapped in a new boy's arms. Like maybe this one can catch lightning in a bottle or make my pulse mimic thunder again. Like maybe this time his heat on my skin will sear the vacancy inside me shut.

24

they told me my heart has a murmur which I found funny because I haven't heard from it in years.

0

Sep 3, 2014

Sep 3, 2014 at 5:47 PM UTC

Even hearts can atrophy

they told me my heart has a murmur which I found funny because I haven't heard from it in years.

3

the truth is no one ever taught me how to fix a flat tire or how to ask for help or what love was even good for in the first place and the truth is that the cookie was good but the lemon icing wasn't and the truth is baking should be done without any kind of lemon at all and the truth is i wish you'd hold me close enough that our skin fused together and i could burrow into your spine and learn all the things you won't teach me and the truth is you were never good at making eye contact but i dare you to look at me long enough that i can trace the line that connects your iris to your pupil and count how many shades of black a person can produce and the truth is i don't know if the grass has fingerprints but i know that yours are cigarette stained and no better at letting go than mine and the truth is i am a dump site and you are an inhale and i am clockwork and you are a melody and i can't keep my teeth off your eloquence and the truth is my feet are covered in acrylic paint from leaving smudged footprints in sparkly things and the truth is i don't want you all to myself but you can pretend i'm yours when i'm engulfed in the ocean and making it hard for you to breathe and the truth is i'm looking for a different kind of intimacy from you and maybe it's just some teenage girl talking but the truth is that i want to drown with you. i want to burn with you. i want to scream with you so violently that the body that crushes my lungs crumbles and i become a balloon for real this time and the truth is, if you hadn't called me beautiful, i would have mistaken last night for a paradise i don't believe in

0

Aug 18, 2014

Aug 18, 2014 at 8:21 PM UTC

bag wine & candor

the truth is no one ever taught me how to fix a flat tire or how to ask for help or what love was even good for in the first place and the truth is that the cookie was good but the lemon icing wasn't and the truth is baking should be done without any kind of lemon at all and the truth is i wish you'd hold me close enough that our skin fused together and i could burrow into your spine and learn all the things you won't teach me and the truth is you were never good at making eye contact but i dare you to look at me long enough that i can trace the line that connects your iris to your pupil and count how many shades of black a person can produce and the truth is i don't know if the grass has fingerprints but i know that yours are cigarette stained and no better at letting go than mine and the truth is i am a dump site and you are an inhale and i am clockwork and you are a melody and i can't keep my teeth off your eloquence and the truth is my feet are covered in acrylic paint from leaving smudged footprints in sparkly things and the truth is i don't want you all to myself but you can pretend i'm yours when i'm engulfed in the ocean and making it hard for you to breathe and the truth is i'm looking for a different kind of intimacy from you and maybe it's just some teenage girl talking but the truth is that i want to drown with you. i want to burn with you. i want to scream with you so violently that the body that crushes my lungs crumbles and i become a balloon for real this time and the truth is, if you hadn't called me beautiful, i would have mistaken last night for a paradise i don't believe in

11

It takes this boy three words to figuratively melt all my literal progress, to turn my thoughts right back into the whirlwind of memories I've spent the past twelve months trying to silence. At last, I stopped hearing his voice in the howling wind but two missed calls and a couple 2AM texts later and I can't think straight. I see his smile in the spaces between my fingers and LOOK ALIVE, SUNSHINE ricochets around my skull, firing my synapses sharply while his hurricane laughter echoes between my neurons. Three words to rip all of my unexpressed feelings from their neatly-packed shoe boxes and send them swirling around my head in that violent vortex that took a year to subdue. Three words to unleash the chaos I had finally repressed.

0

Jul 24, 2014

Jul 24, 2014 at 1:14 AM UTC

"Come here. Please"

It takes this boy three words to figuratively melt all my literal progress, to turn my thoughts right back into the whirlwind of memories I've spent the past twelve months trying to silence. At last, I stopped hearing his voice in the howling wind but two missed calls and a couple 2AM texts later and I can't think straight. I see his smile in the spaces between my fingers and LOOK ALIVE, SUNSHINE ricochets around my skull, firing my synapses sharply while his hurricane laughter echoes between my neurons. Three words to rip all of my unexpressed feelings from their neatly-packed shoe boxes and send them swirling around my head in that violent vortex that took a year to subdue. Three words to unleash the chaos I had finally repressed.

3

You asked me what I want But how do you mean? Like a wish? Because it's always been a dream of mine to fly with my own wings or to control time so that maybe I'd get enough sleep and I could draw out the memorable moments until I'm sick of them and then maybe sometimes when I need a break I could just stop everything and focus on the serene silence of a world frozen in place But does this wish have to obey the rules of this reality? because if that were the case then I could wish for the attention of that one boy the one with the electricity in his fingertips and that might temporarily please me Or I could wish myself convenience I could wish that my hoodie strings never crept uneven I could wish that my nails stayed short and neat so I didn't have to cut them I could even wish that I knew everything there was to know Or I could wish for something to better the world I could wish that natural disasters were a myth I could wish that 'pretty' didn't mean anything more than the empty breath of air and intangible vibrations that it actually is That it didn't have any more impact than 6 letters of graphite should Or I could wish for something to better myself I could wish for better handwriting so maybe I can convince myself that my words are worth the paper they stain Or I could wish for endurance Or effortless conversation skills Or pristine work ethic- something I can use to my advantage in the future to ensure success. Or I could just wish for success. I could wish for the job of my dreams endless money the perfect family but where's the fun in that? I could even use my wish to help someone else cure someone of their terminal cancer Hell- I could wish up a cure for cancer! I could wish that mosquitoes didn't exist or that I had a photographic memory or that I lived somewhere I could wear flip flops in January or that I would never age, never feel pain I could wish for an A on my next science test or that poverty inversely reflect humanity But you know what I think? I think it's human nature to feel discontent and I think that's vital to the evolution of the human race I think that we need it to continue to grow and better ourselves So what do I want? What's my one wish? I wish that I could believe in the magic of the stars peeking through tonight's sky

0

Mar 3, 2014

Mar 3, 2014 at 9:19 PM UTC

7 months later

You asked me what I want But how do you mean? Like a wish? Because it's always been a dream of mine to fly with my own wings or to control time so that maybe I'd get enough sleep and I could draw out the memorable moments until I'm sick of them and then maybe sometimes when I need a break I could just stop everything and focus on the serene silence of a world frozen in place But does this wish have to obey the rules of this reality? because if that were the case then I could wish for the attention of that one boy the one with the electricity in his fingertips and that might temporarily please me Or I could wish myself convenience I could wish that my hoodie strings never crept uneven I could wish that my nails stayed short and neat so I didn't have to cut them I could even wish that I knew everything there was to know Or I could wish for something to better the world I could wish that natural disasters were a myth I could wish that 'pretty' didn't mean anything more than the empty breath of air and intangible vibrations that it actually is That it didn't have any more impact than 6 letters of graphite should Or I could wish for something to better myself I could wish for better handwriting so maybe I can convince myself that my words are worth the paper they stain Or I could wish for endurance Or effortless conversation skills Or pristine work ethic- something I can use to my advantage in the future to ensure success. Or I could just wish for success. I could wish for the job of my dreams endless money the perfect family but where's the fun in that? I could even use my wish to help someone else cure someone of their terminal cancer Hell- I could wish up a cure for cancer! I could wish that mosquitoes didn't exist or that I had a photographic memory or that I lived somewhere I could wear flip flops in January or that I would never age, never feel pain I could wish for an A on my next science test or that poverty inversely reflect humanity But you know what I think? I think it's human nature to feel discontent and I think that's vital to the evolution of the human race I think that we need it to continue to grow and better ourselves So what do I want? What's my one wish? I wish that I could believe in the magic of the stars peeking through tonight's sky

60

They say home is where the heart is But what if you don't have a heart? What if you don't have roots or walls or a spine? What if you have nothing holding you together And nothing tearing you apart? What if you're a mere echo of a stray soul stuck in limbo? A lump of atoms, A burnt match, A drifting vagabond, Naked, lost, and numb in this cosmic paradox Where satisfaction is but a distant memory

0

Jan 31, 2014

Jan 31, 2014 at 3:01 PM UTC

Mute Vacancy

They say home is where the heart is But what if you don't have a heart? What if you don't have roots or walls or a spine? What if you have nothing holding you together And nothing tearing you apart? What if you're a mere echo of a stray soul stuck in limbo? A lump of atoms, A burnt match, A drifting vagabond, Naked, lost, and numb in this cosmic paradox Where satisfaction is but a distant memory

11

I don't want smart. I want spontaneous. I don't want roses and a candle-lit dinner. I want drunken nights by the campfire. I don't want a boy that says 'I love you' Because I don't believe in love And, even if I did, I'm not emotionally capable of feeling it. I want a boy that's okay with that. I don't want a boy that showers me with compliments or a knight in shining armor. I don't want mushy love letters or romantic get aways. I don't want a boy who's looking for a wife because I don't believe in marriage. And I don't want a lover. I want a partner in crime. I want a boy with chaos flickering in his eyes. I want a boy who smiles a lot. I want contagious laughter. I want loud. I want steamy kisses where he presses my body into his and my skin tingles. I don't want late night phone calls or 'Good morning' texts. I want a boy that calls me out on my ******** I want a boy that pushes my buttons. I want a challenge. I don't want a boy that makes me feel pretty. I want a boy that makes me feel alive. I want a boy that taps on my window in the middle of the night And brings me on a starlit adventure. I don't want a boy that makes love. I want a boy that will **** me raw. And I want a boy that will let me pass out on him afterwards. And I want a boy that won't get offended if I move away in the middle of the night Because cuddling hurts my neck and his heartbeat is keeping me awake. I don't want a boy that holds hands. I want a boy that drives too fast. I don't want a boy that babies me. And I don't want a shoulder to cry on Because I'm not fragile And I can take care of myself. I want a boy that pushes me into oncoming sprinklers And doesn't hold anything back. I don't want a boy that's looking for forever because forever seems like a really long time. I want a boy that goes day by day. I don't want safe. I want to go fast. I want to live on the edge. I want exhilaration. I don't want to be wanted. I want to want.

0

Jan 10, 2014

Jan 10, 2014 at 5:44 PM UTC

I'm not looking for love.

I don't want smart. I want spontaneous. I don't want roses and a candle-lit dinner. I want drunken nights by the campfire. I don't want a boy that says 'I love you' Because I don't believe in love And, even if I did, I'm not emotionally capable of feeling it. I want a boy that's okay with that. I don't want a boy that showers me with compliments or a knight in shining armor. I don't want mushy love letters or romantic get aways. I don't want a boy who's looking for a wife because I don't believe in marriage. And I don't want a lover. I want a partner in crime. I want a boy with chaos flickering in his eyes. I want a boy who smiles a lot. I want contagious laughter. I want loud. I want steamy kisses where he presses my body into his and my skin tingles. I don't want late night phone calls or 'Good morning' texts. I want a boy that calls me out on my ******** I want a boy that pushes my buttons. I want a challenge. I don't want a boy that makes me feel pretty. I want a boy that makes me feel alive. I want a boy that taps on my window in the middle of the night And brings me on a starlit adventure. I don't want a boy that makes love. I want a boy that will **** me raw. And I want a boy that will let me pass out on him afterwards. And I want a boy that won't get offended if I move away in the middle of the night Because cuddling hurts my neck and his heartbeat is keeping me awake. I don't want a boy that holds hands. I want a boy that drives too fast. I don't want a boy that babies me. And I don't want a shoulder to cry on Because I'm not fragile And I can take care of myself. I want a boy that pushes me into oncoming sprinklers And doesn't hold anything back. I don't want a boy that's looking for forever because forever seems like a really long time. I want a boy that goes day by day. I don't want safe. I want to go fast. I want to live on the edge. I want exhilaration. I don't want to be wanted. I want to want.

51