elementary,
middle,
high,
college.
trade
one
master
for
the
next.
Nov 2, 2016
Nov 2, 2016 at 1:45 PM UTC
if I had thought about organic chemistry
as much as I thought about kissing you,
I might have had
an A.
Oct 25, 2016
Oct 25, 2016 at 12:31 PM UTC
they didn't tell you
you would still feel empty
with a crown on your head
Oct 10, 2016
Oct 10, 2016 at 5:18 AM UTC
you remind
me of a wound.
the first days it hurts like hell
sore to every touch and bruised.
weeks pass.
you stick around.
reminding me.
I can't slip out of my skin to get away.
you don't move from your usual spot.
but one day I look back and I don't notice the cut.
it looks like the rest of me,
melted back into my skin.
I can't remember why it hurt so much
or how long it took to heal
but I'm better now.
May 14, 2016
May 14, 2016 at 1:10 AM UTC
"listen.
so I have heard that you're dating someone
and I'm not trying to cause trouble
or anything
but I miss having you
in my life
and I hate only talking to you
every once a semester.
I just wanted to say that
even though I couldn't seem
to bring myself to say that yesterday.
I know you're probably
way over me by now,
and I wouldn't blame you
for not wanting to have anything
to do with me.
I
just
miss
you."
May 14, 2016
May 14, 2016 at 1:04 AM UTC
it would be easier
to dump the contents of a bottle of bleach in my brain
than to forget you.
both would cleanse me enough to get some sleep.
and both would hurt.
May 14, 2016
May 14, 2016 at 1:02 AM UTC
expectations:
I stepped out of the car
you returned my smile
the palpable emotion between us pulsing
I make my way to you
wrap my arms around your waist
rest my head on your chest
like I have done so many times before
I look up and smile into brown eyes
I have looked into for so long
we sit in the same spot as our final date
and I say those words I never told you
"I love you" passed my lips
your smile spread across your face
as you return those same three words
I apologize for making situations difficult
and I remember why I always felt safe with you
you call me kid
and I smile because I started that two years ago
I slide your coarse hand between my fingers
I hear that laugh that I miss so much
and I feel warmth radiate across my body
my heart beats fast
and I listen to you talk about anything on your mind
and you slide a small paper origami bird
across the table
just like you used to
some things never change
reality:
I stepped out of the car,
tried not to smile too wide
the years of pain and emotion strung between us as I walk to you
we don't touch
but sit down at a table instead
your hair is shorter than I remember
and you have less ****** hair
and your brown eyes look like they have seen a lot in your 21 years
we sit in the same place as our last date
and I try to say "I love you"
but I can't get the courage to say it, just like last time
I can't tell if you even feel that way anymore
I apologize for making situations so difficult
and remember why I always felt dangerous with you
you don't call me kid
because we aren't close enough for that anymore
I feel my hands tingle as I sit on them to keep from shaking
you don't laugh anymore
because you probably think I would try to break that too.
I feel a chill go over my body and my leg bounces up and down like it used to
and we talk about the weather
because the weather doesn't have anything to do with us
and I slide my chair back from the table
and walk away
some things never change
Mar 29, 2016
Mar 29, 2016 at 1:05 AM UTC
from the pink stretch marks of my ***
to the angry red curve across my thigh,
to the raised white line on my stomach,
the scars are painted across my body.
if only mederma worked on other scars.
Nov 18, 2014
Nov 18, 2014 at 5:47 PM UTC
"give me a second,"
I heard crackle over the phone line.
I listened.
the muffled sobs of a boy that loves me break the silence.
I did it.
I broke his heart.
the overwhelming emotions I felt
led to this episode.
I felt trapped; scared.
I cannot return his feelings.
those words he bared to me
on that cold night,
before I whispered an excuse
and ran indoors,
shocked me in ways
I cannot believe.
I cannot stop crying
but not for me.
I cry for the boy that loves me
in a city far away.
I cry for the way I ruin everything
and call it good reasoning.
I cry for the touch of his lips on mine that
I will never feel again.
Mar 2, 2014
Mar 2, 2014 at 10:33 PM UTC