mortuus-odio
I'm Robert Guerrero. You already know my story if you've seen my other account and read my works. / / "Mortui Vivos Docent-The Dead Teach The Living" / "Disce Quasi Semper Victurus Vive Quasi Cras Morturus-Learn As If Always Going To Live; Live As If Tomorrow Going To Die"
It's been a long time
Six months now has it not
I thought we agreed to never see each other again
But skeletons in the closet don't smell to great after a while
And your the corpse always in plain sight
So why not greet each other one more time
After all your the reason I'm still here
Every scar you gave me made me stronger
Now here I am talking to you like a stranger
Your my trusted side kick
The vault I always threw my secrets in
My last resort when I'm feeling down
My dear friend its been a while
Now you're all rusty
Collecting dust in the corner as you wilt away
Flowers bloom and flowers decay
But my love for you against my skin
Will never decay
Now my old friend dance across my wrist once again
Cleanse yourself in the rain your dance made
Hello my friend
It has been a long time indeed
It's nice to meet your friendship again
I missed you
Now help me clean out my closet
I have a story to tell you of my adventures
While in your noticeable absence
May 4, 2014
May 4, 2014 at 5:08 PM UTC
Drip drop
One tear two tear
Drip drop
One puddle two puddle
This **** is getting old
Tears falling on the inside of my face
Too shy to show their face
Yet the reopened scars on my wrist
Dance nakedly in public
Drip drop
My tears drip
Into the depths of my throat
The feelings all but pleasant
Choaking and coughing
Of every one that pelts my trachea
Drip drop
My blood drops
Creating puddle after puddle
I'm afraid to even look at my feet
Because I know their all overflowing
They say blood is thicker than water
Yet they dance so elegantly together
When their the ones that are drowning me
All because I'm afraid you'll say its my time to go
Pack up my **** and hit the road
Drip drop
It's kind of annoying
I'm glad I only have a few seconds left
Till the facet in my veins and tear ducts
Finally close themselves
Or the water company realizes I'm not paying the bill
Mar 12, 2014
Mar 12, 2014 at 3:12 PM UTC
It was before me
Yelling no screaming blood curdling wails
I should have never done it
I should have never walked hand in hand with my heart
It's too small
We never see eye to eye
Always on the opposite side of the train tracks
I'm the fool not my heart
I was the idiot stupid enough to think
This relationship would ever go anywhere
Was I ready?
Why did I try?
My mother was right
I am a pathtetic excuse of life
A waste of talent
A rotting corpse of emotions
Left deaf dumb blind and lost in this grave
Wondering when the sky will decide to fall
And show me
Show the world
I was always the fool
My heart was the one I blamed
I'm too weak to continue fighting
Yet I'm still clutching this sword
Like I know I'll win
Would I be the fool to let go and die
Let the anger decapitate me
Or would I be a fool
For not forgiving my own stupidity
Say I'm sorry
Hope you'll still love me the same
I know I'm the fool not my heart
But what should I think with
When both my heart and mind know
We'll both end up getting hurt
Should I think with my ****
Say I love you only when I'm trying to get in your pants
Should I think random
Start talking about the stars and say I love you out of nowhere
Should I think without thinking
Shut the **** up and be the pet
I don't want to be the fool anymore
I don't want to be domesticated
When I'll always have the instinct to hunt
The pain I feel in my chest
Every time we argue
With the razorblade you wish I would get rid of
I'm the fool not my heart
So when you break up with me
Don't target my heart
I'm the one responisble for all of this
Take aim at my forehead
My heart has seen the worst
It has the most scars
So this time I'll make my body and mind
Take the blunt force of your punches
I'm the fool
Always was and always will be
Not my heart
Never was
Mar 12, 2014
Mar 12, 2014 at 2:47 PM UTC
All I remember was a bang
A flash but no pain
I remember the feel of the hollow barrel
Stuffed in my mouth
The discomfort of the seat
And how far the trigger seemed
Now I'm here
Finally able to grasp deaths hand
Yet my hand she refuses to take
Like a ********** she requires money
The ferry wont leave this dock
Till I pay the toll
Yet I have no money in my empty pockets
I only have the hearts and souls
Of every tear that fell when my funeral began
When the last black rose fell 6 feet
When the last petal wilted away
I can't pay deaths toll
With the limbs and intestines
Of every skeleton in my closet
I can't pay deaths toll
With the smell of my scattered brains
Still painting the corner of my room
My empty pockets can't pay death's toll
So I guess I'm off to living
The life I was never meant to live
**** it was just a dream
I'm making sure
I have money in my pockets
Or at least the still beating heart
Of my angels voice
Always wishing me goodnight
Just before I dream of never paying deaths toll
Mar 10, 2014
Mar 10, 2014 at 11:18 AM UTC
I've walked paths paved centuries ago
Walked hand in hand with demons without a name
Talked with voices without a tongue
Yet I still find myself
Lost amongst the blind
Vision not failing
Only the lights that are diming
I should have been sent to heaven
There the true torture I've expected will begin
This is home
Am I living in Hell
Or is this still Life
The very one I've been trying to run away from
I don't know
I really don't care
I'll just smoke another blunt
Listen to the voices slowly get louder
And hope they pass out just before I do
So I can hear that one angelic voice wish me goodnight
Mar 10, 2014
Mar 10, 2014 at 10:13 AM UTC
I've never been somebody
Worthy of recognition
Worthy of saying I achieved something
It's not like I want to write this poem
Yet its the only thing on my mind
It's not really complicated
I'm just misunderstood
Left to be insane
With the voices only growing louder
Maybe I'm somebody
Somebody truly losing my sanity
Mar 10, 2014
Mar 10, 2014 at 10:09 AM UTC
Have you ever watched an hourglass
Drip grain after grain
Telling you the seconds that tick by
In doing so I found myself with a new phrase
Slowly emptying into my mind
One grain falls, the lies begin to pile
The moment I asked you
Will you be my Valentine year round
Those sands of time
To our loves imminent demise
Began to pelt and pile at the bottom
Like the lies I told you of me never leaving
Of me always going to be there
I'm partially human
Yet that doesn't make me super
Baby I don't even know
If you can understand this metaphor
But when the sands empty from the top
I'll flip it over again
I'll never let our time together end
I'll be honest with you
Ask me anything I'll tell you the truth
I don't have any secrets
But this very one
I want to be your first for everything
Mar 5, 2014
Mar 5, 2014 at 2:57 PM UTC
I hunted through the foggy meadows
Weary of all the shadows
Spear held low
Aimed at one figure
I didn't realize my insanity
Creeping up from behind
I hunted my sanity
Yet I became prey to my insanity
Fangs tearing into my throat
Blood spewing from my jugular
I felt no pain
Once the hunter now the prey
Fed on every time I searched for my next meal
I guess it's a famine
My sanity became extinct
Long before it shattered from my parents torment
It was only an illusion
A hallucination to cover up the scars
My body only scarring never amputated
It's a monster I feed
When I become like my egregore
Starved and boney
Hatred and anger became my poison
Finding my sanity could be the cure
No matter how careful I am
I'm still the feast my insanity awaits
Feb 28, 2014
Feb 28, 2014 at 11:57 AM UTC
I don't need a god
Or any idol before me
I'd rather not kneel and show my weakness
I'd rather weep the tears
Mourn a final time
To show how scared I am
I don't need a cross to hold
I don't need a bottle or blade
I need the silence of a vacant altar
What I need is never what I get
What I want is nothing
But **** it I require a voice to say it'll be ok
For something or somebody
To comfort me in the darkest of days
Even those who love the dark fear it
They know all to well the monsters created
The demons that awaken
It's more than just a nightmare
It's a abyss always drowning its victims
With their own fears
I just pray to my insanity
Maybe my depression
Or perhaps the dark
To allow me one more river of tears
So I can finally swim out of this desert
I've loved and lossed
Lived and learned
Made mistakes invaluable
My proof is the scars
I doubt you'll ever believe the story to
This isn't just an atheists prayer
This is the plea of a monster with no conscious
To finally feel an emotion rather than anger and hate
Depression brings only crimson tears
I just wish somebody can tell me they understand
Yet you'll try and tell me
I should find an anchor in your heavenly father
It's not as easy as saying you believe
I'll never believe in a hypocrite
I'll only believe that one day
My prayer will be answered
With the bringing of boney fingers to my throat
Grains of sands falling
Causing the bells of my demise to toll
Swinging about the sythe to my chest
My prayer is to finally cry
To finally let out all the pain
Feb 27, 2014
Feb 27, 2014 at 2:47 PM UTC
Mommie
Daddy
I've always wanted to say...
**** you!
I've walked these streets
You always kept me shielded from
Never supported what I wanted
I'm not three anymore
How many times do I have to say it
Now I have a new phrase for you
**** you!
Your backs are upon me
Thinking I'm the strongest
Just because I'm the biggest
Mom
Dad
Guess what guess what
**** you!
The lemons you gave me were rotted
Made the lemonade taste like ****
Couldn't sell it because I'd end up dead
Murdered by the zombie voices eating at my brains
I also would like to say
**** you!
Mom
Pops
You just chased out girlfriend #???
**** you!
Can't even start making out
Without you busting in and acting like you didn't see this coming
Hey guess what
I've already grown my *****
My ***** dropped
You can go check out the crater they left
So here's a riddle for you
what has 7 letters its a phrase I use quite often
The answer is simple
**** you
Mom
Pops
I'm leaving this place
Don't bother coming to my graduation
I don't want you there
You never supported me in school
You just told me what to do
Left me on my own to figure out what the **** to do
Thanks for being an anchor
These currents are really strong
Good thing I'm a good swimmer
Because then I would have let this life **** me
This world will not determine when I die
I will
So **** you
**** You
**** YOU
I'm tired of hearing you call yourselves parents
You never earned that title
You think having a few kids
Changing diapers and feeding bottle after bottle
Makes you a parent
You're dead wrong
It's the nightmares
You're suppose to help me fight
It's the school bully
You're suppose to help me get rid of
It's the blade across my wrist
You were suppose to notice
Not once did you ever see my pain
You just mocked me when I confided in you that I was scared
You call yourselves parents
Yet all I see are people who fed me nothing but ********
So saying **** you
Is my thank you
Without it I wouldn't have learned how to live
How to survive a world
You thought was too wild for me
You only encouraged a monster too wild for this world
**** you to the people that have no value to me
Feb 24, 2014
Feb 24, 2014 at 1:39 PM UTC