Did my voice haunt your memory?
Did you see my face at every turn?
When you held her, did you call my name?
Did you make love fervently with her or me?
Did the sound of rain remind you of my beating heart?
Why didn’t you look for me when I it ended?
Did you ever ache for my touch?
Did you weep silently in the night?
As the moon rose in the sky, did you wonder?
Did you ever feel hurt, wondering where I might be?
Did you yearn to come and find me?
When you became ill did you wish for my caress?
Did you crave my presence near your death?
Did you die with my name on your lips?
Why did you have to leave me alone, grieving?
Jan 5, 2018
Jan 5, 2018 at 9:06 AM UTC
The waves of the sea crash ashore
Like the emotions of the human heart
Hard, unforgiving, not caring
So powerful they shape our world
The sea, so vast, so deep, and so unfamiliar
Life giving, in control of all existence on earth
Like emotions, forever changing and molding
The landscapes of a millennia
The sea, like emotions, cannot, should not answer
For their power it wields, be it for good or ill
For the great influence they hold over us
They simply exist, there is no more
The tides of humanity, are pulled to and fro
By the touch of circumstances and woe
Like the pull on the ocean deep
Kissed by the moons caress
Humanity has dived into the abyss
Found deep beneath the ocean waves
Daring to seek out the secrets
Mankind was not meant to know
Yet we hide from the rip tides and currents
From the depths in our own souls
Shivering with the fear of discovering
What we might find hidden there
Like our exploration of the sea we are virgins
Seeking with curiosity secrets we do not understand
Adventurers not completely appreciating
The power over the depths of our inner worlds
We are tossed about in our efforts
We buck violently in our ships, and yet
We sail out into the pit of our emotions
Seeking knowlege we may never comprehend
What have we found in our adventures?
More questions, more fear, more grief
Our own emotions frighten us beyond
What a human’s heart may be able to endure
Will we ever complete our mission?
Will our exploration never cease?
Will all our questions be finally answered?
Will we find all that we seek?
Like the exploration of the ocean
There are places we simply cannot go
We can wish, and hope to visit this vastness
But our fragile bodies weaken us
Like the deep abysmal oceans of our world
Humanity needs to seek the truth out in our soul
And finally accept that the human heart like the sea
Is a vast conundrum we cannot fully know
Jan 4, 2018
Jan 4, 2018 at 7:48 AM UTC
I stood before the mirror
Transfixed by the image
Staring back at me
I knew her
The woman’s hair was long and brown
Her face lovely and long
Her eyes were light blue
She smiled knowingly at me
I knew she was me
I had seen her in my mind
I had heard her soft voice
At one time I had loathed her
Now I loved her deeply
Bianca looked knowingly
Into my tired eyes
It was like she was a non-corporeal lifeform
That I couldn't touch with my hands
A specter perhaps?
I smiled back wishing
With all my inner being
That she could leave the reflection
And we could embrace
But I cannot truly touch her
She is encased in my mind
Far from my consciousness
Separated from my life
Only part of who I am
I hated to turn away
From the smiling fresh face
I didn’t want to see
As her vision faded away
I stood a moment longer
I reached out my hand to feel her face
I gently stroked the cold glass edges
Of the mirror
The image reached back
Suddenly I felt so overwhelmed
Knowing I could not touch her
Hot tears rolled down my cheeks
The agony of our isolation swept over me
I brushed my tears away
Smiling one last time I turned to go
Behind me I could hear her sobbing
She was so lost, so lost
The pain was almost unbearable
How terrible is the loneliness
We must suffer in the world
How much more so it must be
For the images we have formed
I wept for the soul
I had created in my mind
The image of who I wished I could be
Forever separate, yet one
Trapped in a mirror
Jan 3, 2018
Jan 3, 2018 at 8:25 AM UTC
My life was full of pain
I had lost you to another
Now you had died
No one cared that I hurt
I felt anguished
I sobbed myself to sleep
I saw you in my dream
Just as I remembered
Warm and inviting
Protective, loving, caring
My heart felt full
I craved your touch
You stood still for a moment
Looking deep into my eyes
Caring for my feelings
Then I felt your warm arms surround me
I melted into your embrace
Time ended and we began
You held me tight
Telling me I was not alone
I began to weep bitter tears
You cuddled me tighter
Not judging me
Understanding my pain
I awoke to the bitterness
Of knowing you were only a fantasy
I wiped new tears away
Calming myself with the knowledge
That you await me in my slumber
I lay down and spoke your name
Stephen
Dec 7, 2017
Dec 7, 2017 at 4:14 PM UTC
With arms flailing
With heart dying
I fell into the abyss
No light there
Only darkness and gloom
It left my spirit crying
Spiraling, spiraling
Out of control
My soul dead within my chest
No one could save me
Except God, who was silent
Help is not coming
So, I fall, ever falling
Into the depths few can fathom
Deeper into the abyss
Nov 2, 2017
Nov 2, 2017 at 7:21 AM UTC
I have sat for many hours
Opening my soul to you
Listening with my heart
To your wisdom, wishing you were my mom
Now you are gone
And I am alone again
The pain is still hurting
But I can no longer listen to your voice
I didn’t want you to go
I wanted to be your child
Although I understand
You needed to retire to find a new life
The children inside my mind
Weep for you every day
I sit alone in my room
And allow their despair to wash over me
After all the years
Of telling you my heart
I can no longer reach out to you
And that hurts me to the core of my being
You could die
And I would never know
I could die
And you would not care when or why
I wish I could see
You just one more time
To tell you how I hurt
But I know you would never allow that
You told me once
I would not owe you anything
When we parted company
That I would be free to go my own way
Now that it you’ve gone
I must forward without you
I must remember what you taught me
But my soul is pain and so **** confused
You were the mother
I never had
It is like you’ve died
I’ll never see you or hear your wisdom again
I know I can say
All these things
Because you will not know
I would never impose upon your professionalism
I just wish
Oh God I wish
You were my real mom
Then you wouldn’t be out of reach forever
I have one more thing
I would like to say
Before I end this poem
I love you Paula, and I miss you very much
Nov 2, 2017
Nov 2, 2017 at 7:09 AM UTC
I am becoming
Not what others want me to be
Not what the professionals say I should be
Someone I want to be
I am becoming
Through the turmoil and tears
Through the anguish of my years
Someone unafraid of life
I am becoming
A force to be reckoned with
A powerful witness to power
Someone who enjoys life
Yes, I am becoming
Oct 29, 2017
Oct 29, 2017 at 7:47 AM UTC
I love you
You're mine
I have needs
It's your fault
Don't tell anyone
I'll **** you if you tell
You're my special girl
I'll go to prison if you tell
Nobody loves you like I do
You shouldn't dress like that
Doesn't it make you feel special?
Please come play the game with me
This is because you were so good today
Don't do this with any boy or I'll **** him
All the grown-ups know you are a bad kid
Oct 2, 2017
Oct 2, 2017 at 12:15 PM UTC
I am a mystery to myself
I don't know myself at all
One moment I am me
The next moment I am someone else
I wish I could get a grasp on life
Climb out of this imprisoned mind
To see the world as others see it
Not through the pain in here I find
Being a mystery to yourself
Isn't as wonderful as it may seem
You may have some wonderful fantasies
But you can never live out your dreams
Oct 2, 2017
Oct 2, 2017 at 12:08 PM UTC
With arms flailing
With heart dying
I fell into the abyss
No light there
Only doom and gloom
Spirit crying
Spiraling, spiraling
Out of control
Soul dead within my chest
No one could save me
Except God, who was silent
Medications are no good
So, I fell, ever falling
To depths only I can fathom
Into the abyss
Sep 30, 2017
Sep 30, 2017 at 5:32 PM UTC