I don’t know why I miss you
It’s truly a mystery to me
But seeing your face,
Hearing your laugh,
Brought back some feelings anew.
When you told me you thought I was fine
That eventually I had no tears to shed
You didn’t know the pain I felt
In my heart and in my head.
And how could you know?
It’s not like you were there.
But every time I saw your face,
I was filled with despair.
You said, you thought I was happy,
That I was over you,
Done.
But that day you saw me smiling
At night all my feeling were piling
Up in my heart and it felt like I couldn’t...
Like I couldn’t even breath,
Laugh,
Sing.
And now I’m here,
Years later.
A new person,
A proud person.
And you...
More poised
Happy
Content.
But what’s funny is all the ways we stay the same.
I’m thankful for the time we spent
A chapter that finally feels closed.
You were once my moon
My stars.
And you still shine brightly
You’ll never completely fade,
But now our lives can see brighter days.
I’ll never forget the love we shared.
You were my first.
You taught me lessons,
And somehow you still do,
That I can use in my new adventures.
And though you may be gone,
Though we may not speak as much again
You will always
Forever
Perpetually
Be my friend.
Jan 29, 2020
Jan 29, 2020 at 10:38 PM UTC
Remember when your father left you?
Well, I sure do
Because it follows me around every day,
Especially times like these.
And no one understands how that can make you feel
When someone else leaves too.
You think to yourself,
“This is the person, this is who will stay,”
And even when things are going wrong,
Affecting you,
You still say,
“But this is a constant, and it is safe,
I want to stay.”
But some people aren’t ready,
And maybe some people don’t care.
Either way, they can go easily,
And eventually find some new pair.
But that desperation stays with you,
To feel safe and in a constant,
And so you go through a panic,
A frenzy,
That no one understands.
People will judge,
And say what they think,
But they will never understand,
The true feeling of being the daughter of an alcoholic.
Because if they did,
They would not pass judgment,
And, perhaps, would not even be pompous,
About how people “should” act,
Because there is no true way,
To get over being left.
And so today on this Father’s Day,
And week where many things have come to end,
Just remember to
Live and let live,
Listen and learn,
Let go and let God,
And most importantly,
Take things one day at a time.
Jun 18, 2017
Jun 18, 2017 at 9:04 PM UTC
A New Year comes with regret for the old
And in many ways,
I can see why.
Because most years call for the weather of tumultuous storms
Of fights, and heart ache,
Crying, and yelling.
And I'd be lying if I said
This horrendous omen didn't come true.
But I don't really focus on that much,
Because of you.
Though with pills and shrinks,
Managing was brought,
With you I found
That happiness could be caught
In each moment of shared glances
And short slow dances
Soft and slow connections of lips,
And skin being caressed with finger tips.
And though we've had our fair share,
Of letting the rough weather forecast in,
When the storm has past
There is no anxiety left behind,
Just relief and contentment left within.
And although the year calls for similar storms,
With you I'll stay inside,
Safe and warm.
And no hail can pierce through our skin that easily,
For catastrophes fear open doors,
And open hearts.
Jan 1, 2017
Jan 1, 2017 at 6:01 PM UTC
How do you know when you're in love?
Sometimes I cannot tell if it is just a phase,
Or the real thing.
And then I wonder,
Does love exist.
So let's look at the facts, shall we?
Right,
There really isn't any.
Love is supposed to be that fuzzy feeling inside,
The taste of a warm cookie,
The perfect last chord in a song,
But what is it really?
No one ever talks about the hard parts of love,
The little arguments,
The hard conversations.
No one talks about disagreements,
Or hurt feelings,
Is that how it can be?
Can there be a little bad,
With a lot of good?
Can all that make,
Love?
Maybe love is working through those things,
All the hard times,
But how do you know?
Maybe love is being afraid,
Not in the I'm scared for my life kind of way,
But in the afraid because maybe love hurts.
It hurts to be vulnerable,
And it hurts to let someone in.
And maybe the reason it is really terrifying,
Is because maybe you won't know what love is,
Until the end.
You have to live love,
And let love live,
In order to know what is.
And maybe that's why it's scary,
Because know one living has a clue.
Dec 15, 2016
Dec 15, 2016 at 6:42 PM UTC
Celestial beings stare down at us every night,
Some may say that they are nocturnal:
The stars.
As holy and magic as they are,
They have a lot of stress to hold,
Telling the future,
Controlling relationships,
Making us who we are.
So much responsibility,
For a tiny ray of light,
Visible only with clear skies.
Bodies of magic form together,
Stars are never alone,
Because they form a bond,
To form a story.
And sometimes they won't form the correct way,
Making it hard for a cancer one day,
But, hey, maybe that means it's an Aquarius' luck day.
Today my brother might find a soulmate,
And I might find a whole in my bank account.
This month will be good,
But watch out,
Hardships may be coming soon.
I wonder what the stars were thinking,
That chilly tenth month,
When a libra and a taurus came together.
Maybe I'll go back to check my horoscope.
Dec 13, 2016
Dec 13, 2016 at 2:42 PM UTC
I like to paint,
Now, let's be clear,
That does not mean I'm good at it,
It means I like it,
I like to paint.
Lines across a page,
Colors colliding together,
Forming something new,
And it's not perfect,
That's the point.
Because, when you paint,
It should be a perfect world,
No mistakes,
It's more comfortable to look at,
To be with,
But why create a farce?
People deserve to know the truth,
And sometimes the truth is crooked lines,
Blotted colors,
Irregular shapes,
That's the way it goes.
Life is all these cringes,
All the tears that make paint into water colors,
All of the confusion,
Life is imperfect.
I like to paint,
And I suppose I am not too great
At making a perfect world,
But I'm **** good at making a real one.
Dec 13, 2016
Dec 13, 2016 at 2:33 PM UTC
Please do not cry,
Sweet prince,
Sweet babe.
I'll stay with you tonight,
'Till there's light in your sky
Dec 13, 2016
Dec 13, 2016 at 2:28 PM UTC
I'm bad with second chances,
I'll be the first to admit,
But I think it may be fit
To forgive someone for their mistaken romances.
We are all children after all
At least in the heart,
So perhaps I shouldn't let this friendship fall,
The relationship might not be all whole, but at least part.
So, even though I may be confused,
As to how this mistake could have been performed,
This should not be used,
As means to wish this friendship was never formed.
Please earn back my trust,
And make my past anger unjust.
Dec 13, 2016
Dec 13, 2016 at 2:27 PM UTC
Anger is bubbling up through my veins.
How could you do this to a friend?
You careless,
Unthoughtful person.
You were trusted,
You had one goal,
To be a good person,
To be a good friend.
And I'm so angry and disappointed.
How did you sleep that night,
When you stole a kiss,
From the girl he desired.
How did you face him the next day,
Like nothing even happened.
Do you even give a ****
About what you have done?
I can't look at you,
I can't speak to you,
I can't even think of you,
It would be bad for my health.
Nov 22, 2016
Nov 22, 2016 at 10:40 PM UTC
Rain drips down my face,
I feel the cold drops,
Roll over my cheeks,
Each drop full of sorrow.
The sky is mourning,
Looking down on a people,
Destined for doom.
One drop for women,
Back to being inferior,
Because what is below the belt,
Means more than what is in the skull,
I guess no one looks at the interior,
All a woman is,
Is her body, right?
There to touch and grab,
And not put up a fight.
****** orientation should not be a reason to be wary,
But rights will get taken away,
Feelings zapped,
Prayed away,
People can't accept love,
And it's scary.
People of the minority,
Are scared to death.
People threatening their lives,
Having to watch their back,
Every
Single
Day.
Young children,
Looking up to a person,
Who tell them that hatred is okay.
What has the world come to.
I'm scared,
The world is crying for us,
Hopefully we are cleansed.
Nov 13, 2016
Nov 13, 2016 at 11:17 PM UTC