Minute by minute
Hour by hour
Day by day
That’s how it starts
You’re eyes smile scent fade
As the months come and go so does you’re memory
Places that once held pieces of you and me
History has rewritten for a brighter more promising future
Forgive and forget becomes the next step
Forgetting you was easy- you were never really all there… you couldn’t decide right?
Bread crumb after bread crumb filled with false hopes you fed me for 3 long weeks.
I kept trying to get off the rollercoaster - you wouldn’t let me.
Selfishly you kept me tossing and turning in your storm
Leaving me open to the anxiety doubt and insecurities
The culprit in the end- “SEXual chemistry”
Seeing me wasn’t your priority yet wouldn’t we need to see each to gage the chemistry???
What do I know I am the naive ****** after all.
You chose to gaslight my innocence rather than acknowledge your lack of thoughtfulness , actions, and confidence.
What if I was just not attractive enough for you …? Maybe I did something wrong ?
You were still a boy in a man’s body
A coward scared of your own shadow
Wanting to keep me in your orbit but never close enough to be yours.
What if I had done more ? Would that have made you claim me as yours?
Darling you thought dulling my shine
Keeping me small would make me need you.
Would make me want you more ….
You didn’t expect me too refuse to bend or break for you.
Mending, healing, rebuilding ME
I found my way to forgiveness- it hasn’t been easy
Yet forgiving you I have
With every passing season
The version of me after you
Is rooted back on solid ground
I am enough !
Breathing more steady
Everything is okay …
Smiling again wider than before
I am worthy of unfailing love
Laughing deep belly laughs
That echo louder than ever within my soul
I am not anyone’s second choice
Love for life, the simple things , and peace flows through my veins like sunshine.
Life is beautiful and you were never the source of that beauty or joy.
You did not break me
You awakened me
Reminding me that I deserve better
Because I am better
You were never good enough
Thanks for the rude awakening
Feb 19, 2024
Feb 19, 2024 at 8:39 PM UTC
Tall dark and handsome
Kind brown eyes that held mine
Eyes that shined with false promises
A smile laced with uncertainty
Kisses filled with venom that fogged my mind
I was your muse
My laughter a song that warmed your heart.
My endless well of comfort was your sweet escape
My aura a confusing craving you couldn’t understand
You kept me tethered to you
To lose me meant losing your smile
Keeping me would not leave you satisfied
A charming prince turned into a Puppeteer
A princess turned puppet
Strings laced in confusion and uncertainty
Replaced the warm caresses and sweet kisses
Refusing to be tethered by fickle charm
She pulled back despite the hurt
She’s a princess after all
You were never a prince -
Just a puppeteer looking for a puppet
Feb 19, 2024
Feb 19, 2024 at 8:16 PM UTC
One was left reeling
The other went on with life
Two people words exchanged
On a Thursday at 2:00 pm
Feelings emotions intentions coming to light
One’s truth blindsiding the other’s truth
4 months of you and me
Trickled down to a 20 minute text exchange
That’s what I was worth to you.
Her reply unshaken disappointment
His reply an aloof “don’t be stranger … let’s be friends”
Silent tears mourning the idea of what could have been - she refused to let him see her break .
Him going about life - realizing he might not really want a clean break.
Me saying take care - walking away
You saying add me on social media - trying to keep me in your life
Words said can’t be unsaid
This is how the story of us ends.
Feb 19, 2024
Feb 19, 2024 at 8:14 PM UTC
Eyes open eyes shut
Light flutters in like mist then fades like a silent wind.
Sunlight moonlight sunrise sunsets
Shades of light and darkness that emanate life.
Chaos and peace coexist within each transition.
Such is life and such is happiness…
Feb 19, 2024
Feb 19, 2024 at 8:09 PM UTC
She lives amongst the stars
Thoughts are galaxies away
It’s safe up there so they say
Eyes like shooting stars
Fly across her sky
Glances of belittlement, pity, judgement
Soar fast across her sky
Silently dimming their twinkling lights
Mindless carefree flowing thoughts
The ones they say her galaxies are made off
Are laced with unseen meteors of doubt, uncertainty, worry…
Meteors that leave craters as big as the moon
In her “perfect” galaxy
Sleep is blurred by the constellations of anxiety
Her favorite ones are imperfection, failure, loneliness
Beautifully woven, tangled and outlined
Family.. friends…. lovers…
Intertwine and form the lines - connecting
These celestial masterpieces.
The stars in her wide brown eyes never dim
Shinning bright, giving off an aura of warmth and light.
They see a girl- a daydreamer
As Orion’s belt wraps around her waist tight.
Binding her to this utopia they say she created.
Head in the clouds girl
Oh how I want to be you … they say
To inhabit this wonderfully created planet you live in
Called La la land
Visit if you dare she says…
Aug 5, 2020
Aug 5, 2020 at 2:29 PM UTC
Four walls …two bodies
Trapped words ...white noise.
A house on fire...
You... me … standing burning
Pretending the fire isn't roaring.
Aug 26, 2019
Aug 26, 2019 at 7:34 PM UTC
You were my ocean...
Shipwrecked in uncharted waters
Your hands became guides in a sea of fire
Your touch like a wave washing over me
Awakening the world around me ...
A new song murmured seductively by the wind
“Pull me in, hold me tight, tease me with your fingers ... bring me to life “ it sang as the boat rocked.
The fog rolled in unknowingly threatening paradise
Compass no longer pointing north
You’re kind brown eyes my north stars dimmed
My bearings no longer clear ... lost at sea
Treading the waters of uncertainty and doubt
I promise I tried to swim through the rip currents of silence
Ignore the roars of the winds that now shouted “talk to me,hear me... be part of my world...”
In the eye of the storm I thought
The warmth of your smile would shine down
Your sweet soft kisses would revive me
Keeping me anchored in your world...
Eyes still closed a river of peace moved through her. She knew the storm had passed.
The sun began it’s slow decent into the now tranquil waters.
Alone I sat watching the colors dance...liberated and free they danced brilliantly across the vast sky .
I let you go , you are free no longer bound by me.
But my ocean that you will always be she thought as she walked away...
Aug 22, 2019
Aug 22, 2019 at 9:32 PM UTC
You crashed into my life
loud and unexpected - you barged right in.
I didn't notice you at first sight,
yet you managed to break in .
First as a constant in my line of sight.
Then slowly you weaved your web into my life.
I didn't see you at first sight.
But now I think of you at night.
You were always there and I thought maybe you might...
I promise my heart put up a fight.
But here we are -
me falling and you walking away.
I didn't want to see you at first sight,
because I knew I would be right.
Jul 21, 2017
Jul 21, 2017 at 1:04 AM UTC
A tangled web weaved
intricately designed, by patient time.
Three unfortunate victims of untold lies
Glances misinterpreted, signs and all now cease.
The truth will set them all free …
She thought his eyes only held hers that way
It will set you free they say
The signs were all there… promising
Braver he got… more confident he thought
“Hey I like you” found its’ way out one afternoon
Everything seemed to be right she thought ….
Truth is those words were not meant for her ears.
They fell on the ears of a close friend.
A friend who doesn't see those brown eyes the way she does.
Tangled and weaved the web becomes once again…
Mar 19, 2015
Mar 19, 2015 at 11:41 PM UTC
Strength
An image of a man
Who has been weathered by the hands of time
Stands tall refusing to fall
As the world around him crumbles.
Eyes cold and distant
Clouded by a sea of sadness
Reserved and unbreakable he stands
As a million of emotions beckon him
Cry
Scream
Do something…
Yet silence is all he allows to be heard
He watches helplessly as the unspoken words
Slowly fill the empty space around him
Acknowledging the solemn tear-filled eyes
That stare consolingly at him
While I one of the tear-filled eyes watch
The man …who to me is called grandpa
Shut the world out
Letting nothing penetrate his solid exterior
A pillar of strength he stands tall
In the eyes of his heart-broken granddaughter.
Unaware of my admiration
He ignores the tears begging to fall
Fights the pain that is now spreading
Like a fire through every vein
Amplify his longing for the impossible
Breaking his heart of stone.
All this pain remains unseen
As he stands refusing to break
Unwillingly accepting that what he lost
Can no longer be found here…
His crutch in times of need
His shoulder to cry on
A friend that can never be replaced
All will forever be reminders of
The brother he lost.
Aug 21, 2011
Aug 21, 2011 at 1:41 AM UTC