Some things in life are optional.
Like this title for example.
Or the notes below this poem.
Or how I say, "I (almost) cut myself."
The almost is optional.
I could leave that out if I were telling the truth.
And when I tell people, "I did(n't) stop myself."
Again, the n't is something optional.
Maybe some lives are too...
Aug 24, 2014
Aug 24, 2014 at 10:52 PM UTC
Going through my phone and realizing-
I have 61 contacts.
32 are my "friends."
17 are my family.
5 are teachers.
5 are co-workers.
And 2 are my pastors.
But yet-
I have no one.
Aug 15, 2014
Aug 15, 2014 at 10:21 PM UTC
Staring at the blank page in front of me. Thinking of what to say. I want to tell you so much, but I'm scared you'll run away. To tell you I love you, tell you that I care. But I don't think I would do it, even on a dare. Sometimes I get nervous about what to say or do. But your smile makes it all go away. My world revolves around you. I really think I love you. You can always make me laugh. I just wish you would realize that I'm your other half. Seeing you with her makes me sad and blue. And I HATE being jealous so there's only one thing to do. The next time that I see you I'll march right up and say,"I think I've been in love with you since the beginning of 7th grade." And all I can do is hope that when that day comes, you will finally open your eyes and see that I'm the only one.
Jul 24, 2014
Jul 24, 2014 at 11:55 AM UTC
How I describe myself.
Back fat.
Muffin top.
Flabby arms.
Thunder thighs.
Double chin.
Ugly.
Four rolls.
Worthless.
Jelly belly.
Gross.
FAT.
How others describe me.
Funny.
Outgoing.
Warm.
Comforting.
FUN.
The list isn't nearly as long, now is it?
Jun 28, 2014
Jun 28, 2014 at 11:13 PM UTC
If I hurt myself, would you pay attention to me?
Jun 18, 2014
Jun 18, 2014 at 7:03 PM UTC
"I'm fine."
"No, nothing is wrong."
"Yes, I'm happy."
Lies. Every single statement is a lie.
"No I'm not ok.
"Everything is wrong."
"No, I'm depressed.
*If only I could say that out loud. But that would mean I would have to trust them.* *And I'm sure as hell not doing that. They would only try to "help" and by help, I mean therapy, doctors, and maybe even my very own shrink! No. That is not going to happen because I'm happy. Right?**
Jun 18, 2014
Jun 18, 2014 at 6:46 PM UTC
"Go to the pool."
"Ride your bike for once."
"Go to the gym with your friends."
"Play in the park."
"You can't eat **** like that and expect to not gain any weight."
"Get off your **** and stop being lazy."
"Why can't you be more active?"
"You're such a ******
*Why do you always pick on me? I try to do those things but when you leave a list of chores that take 6 hours, its not like I can do much. All while I'm babysitting your children. I just wish I could be the "skinny" daughter that you want. I'm comfortable in my body until you say these things. Then when I start to feel better, you knock me down again.*
Should I stop eating all together and finally give you,
Skinny?
Jun 16, 2014
Jun 16, 2014 at 7:16 PM UTC