I've always liked the darkness more than the sunlight.
Not because I've always been depressed.
But because I don't like to risk getting burned.
Jul 23, 2016
Jul 23, 2016 at 2:46 PM UTC
I'm the ghost of a girl who used to be
Always smiling, happy and free.
A girl who loved to talk and play.
But slowly, that girl went away.
I don't know where that girl has gone,
She just disappeared beyond the dawn.
She left me behind, to take her place
Because we have the same body and face.
But nobody else can really see
The difference between that girl and me.
Each laugh I fake is weaker,
The smiles I give are fewer.
And you don't notice.
Because you knew of that girl,
But you never really knew her.
Jul 23, 2016
Jul 23, 2016 at 2:41 PM UTC
These cannot be my hands.
They've killed too many men.
This cannot be my skin
That's been cut time and time again.
I glance at my reflection,
Then turn my face in shame.
Who is this freak show looking back at me,
Who tells me I'm to blame?
Whose blood is dried upon my hands,
This dirt across my cheek?
Whose gun is this that shot down lives,
Women, children, men and meek?
Whose words are these upon my tongue,
**** like soured wine?
Whose clothes are these upon my chest?
Surely they cannot be mine?
Whose sins are these, the dark and many
That fill an entire sea?
With narrowed eyes, I realize
These sins belong to me.
Jul 23, 2016
Jul 23, 2016 at 2:36 PM UTC
When did I become a circus lion
Performing just to receive your praise?
It is just an illusion, a practiced act,
And now the dead you think you can raise.
I've done everything you tell me to.
I've been all you tell me to be.
I've put on this show for you.
Won't you please just set me free?
The cage can't contain my hostile spirit.
This costume is harsh on my scars.
I can't spend one more day forcing joviance.
I need to be free of these bars.
Jul 23, 2016
Jul 23, 2016 at 2:31 PM UTC
I don't know how
To win this fight
Where nothing's wrong
But nothing's right
I feel no pride
I feel no shame
Just endlessly trying
To finish the game
I don't know how
To win this fight
Where nothing's black
And nothing's white
Just a million shades
Of lifeless grey
No victories
From day to day
I don't know how
To win this fight
Where nothing's dark
And nothing's light
No sight, no sound,
No taste, no feeling
A world without damage
A world without healing
All hope I once had
Is out of sight
I'm battling inside
My woeful plight
I don't know how
To win this fight
Please help me
Just to end the night.
Jul 23, 2016
Jul 23, 2016 at 2:27 PM UTC
I'm pondering the gun
Waiting in the other room.
Is there really a difference
Between destiny and doom?
I'm a hopeless, useless cadaver.
I'm a perpetual case of blues.
If living life is winning,
Then I think I want to lose.
I wouldn't miss each wasted second,
My birthdays every year.
I don't know what my destination is,
But it must be better than here.
I've been laying on this bed for far too long
Trying to evade my thoughts with sleep.
It's time to take it into my own hands;
I'm tired of being herded like sheep.
I'm sorry to whoever has to find me,
And to he who has to dig my ditch.
But if it does something to soften the wound,
This was my only wish.
And I wonder if they'll be ashamed of me,
When in death I do abide.
Whether they'll say my death was an accident,
Or a beautiful tragic suicide.
Jul 23, 2016
Jul 23, 2016 at 2:21 PM UTC
When I was young, I decided
I ought to keep track
Of what color I felt like.
Nowadays I feel black.
My mind is this color,
And so is my heart.
Black is all you would find
If you ripped me apart.
And I am ripped apart
Every single day.
You ask me why I feel black?
You made me this way.
I was drained of my vibrance
By your very hand.
And now all that's inside me
Is black ash and sand.
Now there is one more question
I'd like to pursue.
Of all the colors you see,
Which color are you?
May 26, 2016
May 26, 2016 at 9:15 PM UTC
Submerged in darkness.
Submerged in pain.
Submerged in loneliness.
Submerged in self-gain.
Submerged in nothing.
Submerged in a flood.
Submerged in everything.
Submerged in blood.
Submerged in water.
Submerged in dust,
Submerged in profanity.
Submerged in lust.
And I ask, as I sit here,
submerged in sin,
"Isn't there something better
To submerge myself in?"
May 13, 2016
May 13, 2016 at 12:29 PM UTC
Your heart is a daedal
You feel no worth in skin and bone
Your fingernails have carved your name
Into your headstone
As we sat in the shadows
Hand in hand, we walked the maze
Though my eyes had not adjusted,
This is where you spent your days.
So you knew every path and problem there,
With an intimacy I could not tell.
You led me through, though solemn,
Explaining every step as well.
Then one of your demons grabbed you,
As we reached the apogee.
You cried, and though it was darker still,
I could suddenly see.
I saw every tunnel differently
Than I had before,
And I realized why when you left the maze
your skin was always sore.
So I tried to take your demons
But as I tried, your skin would split.
And I realized your demons are part of you
As you are part of it.
And I feel I should be your deliverer,
But I don't know what to do.
How can I defeat your darkness
When your darkness is part of you?
May 13, 2016
May 13, 2016 at 12:25 PM UTC
I'm holding my heart to the light,
Trying to find a reason to breathe.
But sometimes I hold on so tight
I think it would be easier to leave.
I see my heart is all torn up.
I know I have my blade to blame.
I remember when my heart beat red.
It will never beat the same.
The beat is getting weaker.
And it trembles at louder sounds.
It walks in shuffles of my feet,
when I used to move in bounds.
I put it back inside my chest,
and close its little door.
I wince as it latches - What should I do?
I don't want it to hurt anymore.
But I felt something in my pocket
Took a breath and undid the latch.
I strike the object, throw it in.
I'm glad I was carrying a match.
May 3, 2016
May 3, 2016 at 11:53 AM UTC