I've been waiting
18 years
for you to say
I'm proud of you.
May 18, 2014
May 18, 2014 at 9:01 PM UTC
You will fail
Your GPA will drop
You can't do it
I think in the past few months,
I have been told this
Over 50 times.
And you won't believe who it's coming from.
My own mother.
The one who is supposed to be my biggest supporter.
The one who used to think I was smart.
The one who loved be regardless of my mistakes.
The one who I always asked for advice.
My best friend, my partner in crime, my mother.
It's as if nothing I do anymore
really means to her.
It's as if no matter how hard I try,
I still fail in her eyes.
No matter what I accomplish,
I will never hear her say,
"I am proud of you."
At the end of the day,
the only reason I stay,
in this dreaded house,
is because I have nowhere else to go.
So for now,
I'll sit here,
and listen
to you
tell me
how my life should be
and how I will never amount to anything.
Apr 29, 2014
Apr 29, 2014 at 10:49 PM UTC
I love those mornings
Where the blinds are closed shut
But the sunlight still creeps in
And the room temperature is just right.
Your legs feel smooth against your blankets
Your head rests comfortably on your pillow
You hear the low murmur of your ceiling fan
And the birds are chirping outside
I love these Texas spring mornings
Full of sunshine and butterflies
Apr 28, 2014
Apr 28, 2014 at 11:58 PM UTC
When you let go of the negative
And embrace the positive,
When you decide to smile
Instead of frown,
When you destroy your demons
And stop listening to them,
When you open your windows
And breathe the life around you,
You finally feel this wondrous sensation
Called happiness.
Apr 27, 2014
Apr 27, 2014 at 9:24 PM UTC
I am not a victim,
But a warrior.
I am not my disorder,
But a imperfect human being.
I am not the scars on my skin,
But a survivor.
I am not the demons in my head,
But a recovery soldier.
I am not a victim,
But a warrior.
Feb 9, 2014
Feb 9, 2014 at 10:46 AM UTC
As I lay on my bed,
I feel all my worries creep away
and disappear.
As I lay on my bed,
I close my eyes
and feel at ease.
As I lay on my bed,
I think of all the mistakes I've made,
the friendships I've lost,
the times I was wrong.
As I lay on my bed,
I realize that I am imperfectly perfect,
just the way I am.
Feb 9, 2014
Feb 9, 2014 at 12:57 AM UTC
I once knew a girl from Addison, Illinois.
She had extremely curly hair.
A bright smile.
And big brown eyes that twinkled from her happiness.
She was the chubbiest of babies.
Born at 8 pounds!
However, she grew up.
Her eyes stopped twinkling.
Her hair stopped curling as much.
Her smile faded.
She lost so much weight.
Underweight, she was.
Oh how I wish to see that same child.
Born in Addison.
8 pounds.
With sparkling eyes.
How I wish to see myself
as a young, healthy child.
Nov 4, 2013
Nov 4, 2013 at 10:27 PM UTC
It is now that I realized
how terrible of a friend you were.
You never brought me up.
You kept putting me down.
When you did make me feel better,
you would find a way to rip me apart.
Break me down.
You broke me to tiny pieces.
Similar to a glass cracking
and cracking
and cracking
until it's reached its limits.
Then it shatters.
Into one trillion pieces you can never glue together.
It has taken months
for me to realize.
You were no friend
only a dark glimpse of what I never will be.
You care only about yourself
and your boyfriend.
Not about others.
Not even about me,
your best friend.
You left me broken
torn apart
shredded
gone.
You ****** the life right out of me
and now I've been set free.
I've been enlightened.
I've been given a new day.
A new life.
A new light.
I've been given freedom again.
You will never harm me.
Why?
Because when you break me,
I come back 100 times stronger
baby.
Nov 4, 2013
Nov 4, 2013 at 10:15 PM UTC
Everyday is a nightmare
and every night is hell.
I've seen the happiness
slowly fade
from my face.
And I'm not sure how to be happy.
Sep 9, 2013
Sep 9, 2013 at 11:49 PM UTC
I long for winter.
For sweaters
and cozy blankets.
I long to be wrapped up in a blanket every morning
immersed in heat.
I long to cuddle up with a teddy bear
and watch movies
all night long.
I long to feel the crisp cold air sting my skin.
I long to see the earth, naked and bare.
I long to see the icicles form and the snow drop.
I long for hot cocoa
and hazelnuts.
I long for winter.
Sep 6, 2013
Sep 6, 2013 at 10:28 PM UTC