What is it that you want?
Is it really this?
Close your eyes and imagine happiness.
I see me traveling the world.
Alone, maybe.
Is my wife always going to be here to save me?
She's fading away.
I reach out for her but nothing reciprocates.
Apr 7, 2019
Apr 7, 2019 at 11:10 PM UTC
The love you took for granted is gone
You lean in for a kiss but you can't
Anxiety so high will you every come down
If you fell would you even land?
She's a stranger as she sits next to me
We know each other's words not feelings
All of these emotions bottled up for keeps
Nothing feels real to me
Those years of happiness seem hazy
Would she even remember the good?
If you said you're gone now it wouldn't even faze me
I'll just go inside my room misunderstood
I wanted to fight for this marriage
I'm not ready to give it all away
At the same time everything's falling apart
I'm hoping I can get one more chance, maybe you'll stay...
Jan 22, 2019
Jan 22, 2019 at 1:37 PM UTC
The silence before the fight
The moment before explosion
I can feel it creepy slowly on me
She's waiting to say something
She won't let it slip unless I ask
Yet, I'm never ready for the condemnation
It's my fault... whatever it is, it's me
She's gonna tell me about my problem
How I don't do this or that
But won't say anything else
I get ripped apart because she's upset
I get treated like the **** she does doesn't effect me
Am I just a throw away toy?
You're avoiding me now
Don't like my presence?
Want to be alone?
I wouldn't blame you,
I'm not fond of myself either.
Jun 1, 2018
Jun 1, 2018 at 2:37 PM UTC
All I want to do is cut.
I want that taste of metal down the tip of my tongue.
Run jagged lines down my body
Make me feel the pain of a sting so ice cold, I scream in a gasp of air.
Send chills through my body that make each move and every step difficult to bear
I want to see blackness as my fist collide against my temple
I want that hard smell of blood in my nose as I hit my eye just right.
I want to deck myself to wear everyone will see the ****** I am
Beat myself senseless
****** and black and blue.
Weezy as I fail to move.
Nothing satisfies my thirst for blood
I want myself dead, yet....
I manage one more day without a touch of a blade.
May 20, 2018
May 20, 2018 at 3:02 AM UTC
I'm getting to the point where it's getting harder to sleep
I'm deplete
Your using me
I'm trying to see
What me and you have got to beat
But yet....
The worse is coming, it hasn't passed
Wondering how long I can last
With me going as fast
As I possibly can.
The words you scream
Seem to me
As if we
Can't possibly
Be working this out
I'm sorry but I got to leave
This future is completely empty
Full of nothing
How can we beat the thought
That we might have gotten lost
When there's no more to give
Feels like we can't even live
With each other, let alone ourselves
May 17, 2018
May 17, 2018 at 8:14 PM UTC
Today's the day I mark my death
It'll be gruesome and a sight of mess.
I'll be torn up from head to ****** toe
There'll be a mask with a silver rose
She'll leave me lifeless laying on grass
With nothing but a book under my eyes
You'll find my lungs full of water
As if I had no air and I fought up
While she forced my face farther beneath the cold ice of death.
On the verge of dying, she'll help me relive.
Just long for a lung full of knife she could give.
Its nothing that causes death instantly but rather I suffer.
Nov 9, 2017
Nov 9, 2017 at 12:58 PM UTC
You ruined her career
Run that blade against your skin like your playing a cord that just rewinds this all.
You destroyed her future
Keep playing that guitar like its gonna change this time.
You took away her chances
Why don't you play us a sad song and show us your unstable
You don't care about her
Why don't you stop playing that guitar on your leg and aim for your neck
I bet the best songs come when your bleeding out pain.
Nov 8, 2017
Nov 8, 2017 at 7:01 PM UTC
You're pouring salt on my wounds,
What are you doing? This isn't you.
Take that blade out of your hands,
What are you doing? I'm so confused.
Yesterday you dreamt of a life,
A future in your sights.
But today your mind is screaming,
All you're wanting is to die.
Are you worthy of the sun's rays?
Can you stay alive long enough to find
Out if everything is okay?
This life is an ocean of pain,
I'm out in the open and this salt water covers my wounds like it's rain.
Its burning me alive,
But the feeling of this knife,
Mixed with some darkness & night,
Masked with rage and lies...
Is really what is killing me inside....
Nov 4, 2017
Nov 4, 2017 at 12:07 AM UTC
What the **** am i doing here?
Please someone help me
Im defining all odds against thee
Yet my proportions seem empty.
Im traveling the hard path
And it aint by my choice
At least im free of catastrophe
Speaking on terms of depleting
**** man! My mind is going crazy
Im draining by the minute
And im just ******* losing it
Please God, just shoot me.
Apr 1, 2017
Apr 1, 2017 at 2:46 PM UTC
She sees me
And steals my breath
She reads me
Before I know what's next
She accepts me
While I've been a reject
She knows me
Deeper than intimate ***
She loves me
To see passed my surface flex
She holds me
Until I can finally rest
Mar 14, 2017
Mar 14, 2017 at 1:24 PM UTC