*tonight I can write,
of a disorder so monstrous,
I intermittently cannot tell,
if I want to laugh, cry, or die.
this wretched disorder is like,
being stabbed by your favorite person,
and laughing instead of crying.
everyday is a struggle to seem normal.
it's just so sorrowfull,
when your emotions are being juggled,
at the circus in your head.
my mind is like a battlefield in WW1.
but unlike the casualties,
the perpetually changing emotions live on.
tonight, even as I write,
my feelings will not stop bouncing around,
like children when they,
consume too much sugar.
the way I feel towards everything,
never stops changing.
everyday, every hours every minute,
my emotions never rest.
the brain within my skull,
commands me one moment to be euphoric,
and within 30 seconds,
says to be rancorous.
but tonight while I've written this,
these forever changing emotions,
did not win.
despite the war in my head,
I have kept the same mood.
this disorder will not end me.*
May 23, 2015
May 23, 2015 at 3:14 PM UTC
*Your words warm up my heart like wildfire
Whenever you speak I hear
A beautiful symphony of
Words I could never fathom if
Spoken by anyone else*
May 3, 2014
May 3, 2014 at 10:46 PM UTC
Now I'm with her
And you want me back
But I'm not too sure if I'm ready for that
Apr 15, 2014
Apr 15, 2014 at 1:54 PM UTC
love is something that will always be around that you and me will always share it is something very nice to share
Apr 10, 2014
Apr 10, 2014 at 3:15 AM UTC
Here is my haiku
Of how you abandoned me
When I needed you
Apr 8, 2014
Apr 8, 2014 at 2:05 PM UTC
*Oh I love you
I don't just mean like I'm glad you're alive,
I mean without you, I would be bare
I mean that you are what puts the smile on my face even on my darkest days
I mean that right when I wake up, all I want is to see your smiling face
I mean that if anyone ever hurts you, I will destroy them
I mean you make my heart beat fast with every word you say
I mean that you mean more to me than I mean to myself
I mean that all I care about is your happiness and your health
I mean that I will never let you go, even if you refuse my presence
I mean that I will be here for you whenever you need me
I mean that there isn't a thing in the world I wouldn't do for you
Oh I just love you*
Apr 8, 2014
Apr 8, 2014 at 4:21 AM UTC
*This blade controls me
This blade enters my skin without stuttering
This blade knows it's home within me
This blade hasn't yet cut too deep but has taken my life, you see
This blade is my life now
This blade slices through my skin like a hot spoon through butter
This blade draws art on my wrists and writes stories on my thighs
This blade will one day end my total existence
This blade is my addiction, you see
This blade has become my infatuation
This blade is wrecking me
This blade is scarring my skin with shiny white lines
This blade makes me joyous
This blade forces me to cut my activities short so it can cut my skin
This blade is my bestfriend, because when
This blade allows the red to run free of my flesh, I get giddy with excitement
This blade comforts me
This blade will be here 'till the end...*
Apr 7, 2014
Apr 7, 2014 at 2:58 AM UTC
**Dearly beloved,
Why are you so sweet to me?
Oh the way you treat me is
Greater than I've ever been treated before
Dearly beloved,
Are you aware that I love you too?
Oh the way you say you love me is
Very convincing
Dearly beloved,
What do you mean we can't be together?
Oh the way you change your mind is
Rather perplexing
Dearly beloved,
Where have you been?
Oh the way my heart aches when we don't speak is
Utterly dreadful
Dearly beloved,
Have you ceased existence?
Oh the way you worry me is
Ruining my sanity
Dearly beloved,
Why are you so cruel to me?
Oh the way you treat me is
Worse than I've ever been treated before**
Apr 7, 2014
Apr 7, 2014 at 2:33 AM UTC
oh would you drag me out from this ocean of sadness that has washed over me?
would you destroy the demons constantly harming me?
would you tie all my broken pieces back together?
would you stay with me forever?
oh but would you love me when i'm bad?
even once i've gone mad?
Apr 7, 2014
Apr 7, 2014 at 2:29 AM UTC
*my body is still in existence
yet i am dead
i can't feel the pain
but i can see all the red*
Apr 7, 2014
Apr 7, 2014 at 2:23 AM UTC