it was a rough landing
jolting me from my seat
adrenaline pushing and shoving its way through the aisle.
usually, i take a big breath,
deep seven-second exhale
as the plane descends
watching the ground get closer and closer.
prepared for the bump and slow
but all the shades of the windows were closed on the plane -
people are stupid.
You picked me up from the airport -
I was so awkward from the long flight
my nonverbal mouth
all it could ask was, "are you okay?"
later the awkwardness between us like a pane of thick glass
until you
pulled me on top
of you
your tongue finding my teeth
your thighs pressing me open
like pages of a book you've memorized
you don't need to look at it to know what it says.
and you helped me remember
who I am
I am yours
I am home.
6d ago
May 28, 2026 at 3:23 PM UTC
it slips sometimes
down off my bare shoulder
it's no big deal.
i can shift it back up by myself, lean this way or press my body awkwardly up against a wall and put it back in place
but you
offer me
your free hand
and with it
you transform this small burden
to weightlessness
your soft hand
clutching
but never too tight
May 26
May 26, 2026 at 12:04 PM UTC
After a month of
holding my breath
******* anyone willing
putting one foot in front
of the other
not feeling the hot coals
underneath
floating
after a month of holding it
i exhale
GASP
exhale
Sob for an hour with
the therapist
sob for an hour in
the car
sob for an hour in
my office with
the door closed
head on my desk
what the **** are we doing
what the **** am i doing.
Sayulita is on fire
nothing is permanent
breathe
breathe.
we don't always have to agree
but i promise to always be kind
even if it means letting you go.
May 22
May 22, 2026 at 7:57 AM UTC
the body is telling me things I don't want to hear
my period comes a whole week early
i google if stress can do that
apparently it can
my virgo calendar tendencies are so startled at the sight of blood at the wrong time
but it's clear
my body is over the whole thing
my body is telling me no
you're not doing that again
my body assures me, you're not pregnant
arent you glad?
you've been so scared the last few days
i gave this to you as a gift
i say thank you body
and eat cookies.
my brain is disrupting my sleep
i have awful crystal clear dreams
i never dream and i never remember them
but last night i did,
nightmares.
in one dream, i do something horrible in order to be with you
and then i realize it will make you despise me
the thought of your disgust
causes me to have that falling feeling
game over.
i wake up at exactly midnight - glancing at the clock i hear the thunder
the dog tries to get comfortable despite her fear of the noise
another dream
something precious to me is taken from me without my consent
an omen for how you will leave me
and i write self-fulfilling prophecies with a sharpie on my shoes and a switchblade to my palm
the dirt under my fingernails proof and evidence of my rage and despair at my inability to claw you from your biology
or myself from mine
and the body tells me these things
a warning of what I'm about to feel
in a dry scrape of sharp metal along pavement
this is going to hurt
but i plug my ears playfully and sing la la la
i don't know what you're talking about
and my brain quickly reminds me, "hey. i could **** you".
and i say, thank you, brain.
thank you for not.
May 18
May 18, 2026 at 10:43 PM UTC
I've never memorized another person
the way i memorized you
i no longer possess the capability
my neuroplasticity is spent
it's all been pruned away
memorizing your freckles
your ****** ticks
the way you swish and move and groan
my brain has taught itself
my brain has learned
it will not stay
no one stays
Mar 9
Mar 9, 2026 at 4:43 AM UTC
2:57 am
doused in uncertainty
the late night anxiety
of i will make it work
but i feel like a fool for trying
what is it but a thing i told myself I'd never do
a desire to be close to you
a rejection of my own **** self
believing i can't have you
the late night toss and turn
and I can't even write a good poem
you took that from me too
I'm reduced to these lines you've given me
promises like milk cartons in the recycling
thun-thun-thun
empty
2:57 en la
mala mañana
empapada con encertidumbre
la ansiedad de la noche larga
de, lo haré funcionar
pero me siento una pinche tonta pa tratar
qué es este, solo una cosa qué me dijé nunca jamas nunca yo haría
un deseo pa está cerca de tí
un rechaso de mi propia misma
creyendo que no puedo tenerte
la noche larga me da vueltas y vueltas
y aún no puedo escribir una poema buena
me robaste de eso también
estoy reducida a estas lineas qué me daste
las prometas como los cartones de leche en la reciclaje
thun-thun-thun
vacios
Mar 9
Mar 9, 2026 at 4:34 AM UTC
her last name
a perfect description of her
Good.
say her name. Renee Nicole Good.
we walked treacherous sidewalks worried that ICE might **** us
so slippery under our feet.
temps had risen, melting and then dropped again, slick as a white supremacist hockey rink.
should have worn skates, we joke half-heartedly
no one has half a heart anymore.
we passed neighbors pouring salt, steel scrapers against the sidewalks. **** ICE, am i right? this shit's dangerous. linking arms with our elders to arrive to the vigil safe
lest the ground crack our beautiful heads open
my mother gave a man her coat to wear
tissues still wet in the pockets
solemn we stand
shoulder to shoulder
i prayed to a god, "save us all".
and she hit me with this, "you are alive".
i am alive. i am alive. i am alive.
blasted those words into me as i bowed my head in the comfort of hundreds of my closest friends.
comrades holding candles
holding flowers
holding sleeping 7 week old babies.
i held my mom's hand in mine, more weathered than it was when i was a child. softer somehow, and so warm despite the January freezing cold
they said say her name so i tilted my head back and i screamed
for Renee Good.
Say her name. Renee Good.
Say her name. Renee Good.
Say her name. Renee Good.
in front of me someone held a sign
"who would Jesus Shoot?"
Jesus was Good.
Jesus was George.
Jesus was Tamir.
Jesus was Emmett.
and we have still not learned our lesson. beat you over the head with a ********* bible and you'd still be out here in camo putting chemical irritants in our neighbor's eyes, believing yourself to be the righteous one.
but you're just a **** in the wrong country, wrong decade, devil incarnate
with a bone to pick with Brown people
and haven't you done enough
stealing this land from them in the first place
you dumb ****
a genocide of my neighbors
the ****** of jesus herself
deportation of the american dream
Say her name. Renee Good.
Mar 9
Mar 9, 2026 at 4:32 AM UTC
the heirophant has called me back to tradition
late night stripping the bed of its bloodstained sheets
silent embarrassment or shame or frustration that i did not protect the mattress more thoroughly
from the deep red flow seeping from my ******
as i fetch the bundle of clean sheets from the cupboard
i am passed by with a groggy murmur of thought- my mother did this, and her mother, and her mother's mother
and wonder if one day i might help my child change her bloodsoaked sheets or if the world will end before i can find someone to partner with to raise her
she does not exist yet
a seed dormant beneath the soil
time only moves in one direction
although this world has taught me to beg
whimsily, i ponder that i
i might dye these sheets a different color, how i could buy myself new ones, maybe linen
this maroon gift from the **** i was born with
will dull to brown and permanent
i don my bed with this cocoon, i will simply observe the rust spot absent of any emotion
no thoughts
and while i am transcending to commune with my ancestors my mother Melany my grandmother Luella
my dog staring at me wondering what the **** i am doing
it's 4 in the ******* morning
Dec 21, 2025
Dec 21, 2025 at 6:33 PM UTC
growing flowers
a bit morbid, actually
to tend and nurture nature
the divine
the beauty of it, the simplicity in a petal and a stamen
The Lovers, a honeybee
then late October, the Frost
the cold winds slowly wilting your garden's growth
abundance fading
sleep-
Early December you were born
into the freeze of it all, into the Frost -
and yet
you nurture the nature
bolstering the blooms
you collect the pollen, a honeybee yourself
you plant the seeds of hope in the spring
digging into the sweet soil, picking away the bugs
giving the beauty a chance
and then
a kind of gentle genocide
you euthanize
you are a martyr, a *********
a saint.
you snip them with sharp shears and tender love
and give the bouquets
to mothers and aunties
sisters and friends
a funeral
a rebirth
a baptism
a vase on the table
You have seen it all.
Nov 26, 2025
Nov 26, 2025 at 1:43 PM UTC
The fool's journey begins
high hopes
head held high
a fresh start, so relieved
you have everything you need.
A new name, a new look,
a locker combination.
You are
ready for this journey.
You're one of the lucky ones-
you find a friend.
a friend who makes you laugh until you cry.
you talk crushes, candy,
crossing your eyes, folding fortune tellers
she loves the same dumb movies you love
you have found your person.
with her, you can be you.
you borrow your first bra
laughing the loudest
you have the most fun.
you stupid fool.
you flew too close to the sun
your laugh is too loud.
your ***** are too big.
shut up and sit down.
A dumb **** they call you
12 years old,
you allowed a boy to kiss you
The kid gloves come off
sharks in the water
they smell the blood.
they're just mean girls.
no. they are sharks
they have teeth
they tear you to shreds.
They are mean and they exclude
they decide who to include
and you, now on the outside
Face pressed against the glass
You are alone.
at school you're alone.
At home
Alone
Mom gone at work
Dad full of rage.
Sister on the phone
once your hero, now annoyed with your existence
The silence of this house is now a piercing scream
shadows in the corners
a ghost in your room.
alone again. sad girl.
scrape at yourself with a safety pin
skipping breakfast and lunch
a quiet call for help
but you're alone
alone alone
your wardrobe now black
a rainbow pin on your bag
Your new look attracts a boy
a coyote boy
a coyote shark wolf boy
he smells the loneliness on you
a wounded animal
he smells the blood
the boy calls you his.
suddenly, you're not alone.
now you're never alone.
you're intoxicated
you love him
(but not the way he pushes)
you love him
(but not the way he guilts you)
you love him
(except when he calls you fat)
you love him
or maybe you don't.
intoxicated by love
a drunk child.
drunk stumbling staggering child
"Where are her parents?"
he says he's sorry
your options are black and white
yes. or no.
be with him
or be alone
and you hate alone.
alone is
voices loud
screaming silence
scraping
You’re ugly
You’re fat
You’re worthless
No one likes you
Stop
it's better to not be alone.
one benign day
a sleepover
Your friend invited him, without telling you
your parents don’t even notice you’re gone
In the middle of the night
You wake up to his slimy teenage body on top of you
The weight like an elephant and you can’t breathe
The lightning strikes the tower
Get off of me
Get off of me
That summer
You have panic attacks in the shower
where are her parents?
Handfuls of pills, choked down with chocolate milk
where are her parents?
innocence of twelve thrown up with the birthday cake
where are her parents?
slicing so deep you could smell the copper
where the **** are her parents?
the call for help
a silent scream
scraped & scarred, battered and bruised,
lightning strikes the tower
wake up in the hospital
the fool
Nov 25, 2025
Nov 25, 2025 at 2:34 PM UTC