Canadian or Ghanaian, which one do I choose
This conflict I experience always leaves me confused.
Who am I and where am I from.
Do I say where I was born or what's in my blood.
First generation Canadian, should I be proud?
Is it okay that I can't speak any Twi?
If I don't know my parents language, is the culture still with me?
How do I identify, what is authentic, what is the truth, and what is right?
Some thoughts I think about when I lie awake at night.
I feel like my parents culture is just going to get washed away
That I'll have no trace of Ghanaian culture in me.
And I don't give learning the culture the time of day,
To help me become who I want to be.
Because I love saying I'm Canadian, I love what it entails.
It is the country that I call home.
But I love what my parents show me about Ghanaian culture.
I enjoy thinking about the unknown.
So you see my dilemma and why I'm so lost, why I don't know who to be.
Why I don't know how I should explain my culture, I'm still working on my identity.
And I guess there's no rush, I can use either or.
It'll depend on the context of the question that is asked.
But it's who I am, it means so much more,
It is how I define to who I am.
I take pride in both cultures, I want them both, my definition has no restrictions.
So next time I'm asked where I'm from, I'll explain that I'm a Ghanaian Canadian.
I guessed I'm not as confused as I originally thought, I know who I am inside.
A Ghanaian Canadian, that's my identity, and I'll identify with it till I die.
Jul 20, 2015
Jul 20, 2015 at 10:36 AM UTC
Mental illnesses, they aren't real.
With time everything heals.
Why would you even inflict pain to yourself?
Why didn't you just ask someone for help.
It's a double standard but no one gets it.
You think one thing but say something else.
How can you be shocked when you find out a friend has a mental illness if you make it obvious you don't want to help.
With our words and our actions, we undermine others' problems, and for what? Because they only exist in your head?
Well if you experience one of these issues, you would see it as ignorance instead.
No one asks for depression, or anorexia.
They just happen to you.
No one asks to struggle being around others'. These illnesses are real issues.
They happen in your head and the root may be in the mind, but it doesn't all stay there.
You feel the pain in your bones, you feel the pain in your toes, in your veins, it's everywhere.
So don't tell someone that they need to toughen up if they are having issues with their mental health.
You don't know how bad the struggle is unless you've experienced it yourself.
You don't get to say it's just in your mind and that you need to get your act together.
And you especially don't get to question why someone never came to you for help and that you could have made them feel better.
You can't shut something down and pretend it doesn't exist and expect people to trust you with their feelings.
You don't get to throw someone's problems under the bus and expect them to come to you for healing.
And don't you dare say that you had no idea someone was struggling so much when it gets to the point of death.
Because you knew, but to you it was never real, it only existed in their head.
But now they are dead and there is no going back, and you know, it could've been prevented.
Because it's hard, you know, when you go for help and all that you get is rejected.
Yeah it's hard to open up to someone else in a society where you're never fully accepted.
Because it's hard, you know, when you go for help and all that you get is rejected.
Yeah it's hard to open up to someone else in a society where you're never fully accepted.
Jul 20, 2015
Jul 20, 2015 at 10:30 AM UTC
It's oddly hard to see, which view is better for me.
A ****** end to the year and an even worse beginning.
This type of thing can have two meanings.
Maybe things can only get better, maybe there's no place but up.
Maybe I've experienced the worst time of my life, nothing else can go this wrong.
Or maybe it's a sign of how my year will be.
I can feel it just getting worse.
And as much as I want to be optimistic, I can't cover up my hurt.
I mean I've done this before, I can last a year,
but I guess I wanted something more.
To feel like I am not just coping with life, I wish it wasn't a chore.
I guess happiness isn't meant for my life, I guess the timing is off.
Maybe one day, in the future I'll be alright.
Maybe one day my smiles will be real.
Jan 2, 2015
Jan 2, 2015 at 3:45 AM UTC
There's this stigma that being mentally ill isn't equivalent to being physically ill.
And I just wonder how can that be, because they both seem like a sickness to me.
Who taught you that a chemical imbalance in the brain is the medical way to say that you're insane?
Who taught you that being too tired to will yourself out of bed is only because you're lazy?
Who taught you that having mixed emotions essentially means you're crazy.
Who taught you that starving yourself because you think you look fat is seeking for attention.
Who taught you that you're exaggerating if you say you have depression.
Who made you so blind that you couldn't see all the struggling people around you.
Simply because mental illness isn’t as easy to spot as something like the flu.
Because you can't see it and because you can't catch it, it doesn't mean that it's not there.
I mean you can't see or touch it but would you say there's no such thing as air?
You can't see it or touch it but would you say there isn't wind.
And if you are a believer you can't see God or touch him but you still believe he exists.
So then why do you need evidence and proof to think that mental illnesses are real issues.
Why do you think it's people over exaggerating, what if it happened to you.
Mental illness is so common but it's treated as if it’s some rare disease.
It’s in your friend groups, your household, your school, all around but unseen.
A major problem for the LGBTQ plus.
Yet people always question why they’re making such a fuss.
When you are bullied and assaulted for who you love and how you dress, it’s no wonder this leads to unmanageable stress.
Why do you have to have a bad cold or a stomach bug to be sick enough to skip school?
What if waking up in the morning takes all the energy out of you?
But no, cause it can't be seen, it's not a valid excuse.
But oh, when it leads to death then you wonder how you never knew,
how you could tell or why they never even tried to come to you for help.
And some even say it was a dumb thing to do because there were people willing to help all around you.
But it's not that easy to know when you can reach out and not be treated like a freak.
You just can't tell these days when your mental health issue will be treated seriously.
And that's because we talk about these afflictions like jokes in our lives every day.
We use them so casually, we don't realize the full impact of what we say.
When you jokingly say, **** me now," because you're a little stressed
And when you jokingly say that you're so depressed you just want to go home and cut.
Someone around you might be thinking the same thing except they're serious.
When you tell your buds to toughen up because men don't cry,
They have no one to reach out when everything is going wrong in their lives.
They put on a mask to live their life,
They pretended to be happy to hide their strife.
Putting on a smile to cover their tears.
Making jokes to hide their true fears.
Just because my physical body seems to be working fine,
doesn't mean that I feel okay in my mind.
Because you can't see where I'm hurting or where the pain is,
doesn't always mean that I'm fine.
And even though you might not see it, mental illness is still there.
And it should be treated that way or the stigma that it's not real will always be here.
Oct 29, 2014
Oct 29, 2014 at 9:31 PM UTC
The days where we don't talk are long and hard to get through.
Because everyday, no matter what, something reminds me of you.
The warmth I feel curling up in my blankets after being out in the brutal cold,
Doesn't compare to the current of warmth I feel flow through my body after an innocent I love you even when it's spelled in short form.
And the hundreds of smiling faces I pass throughout my day at school,
None of them are as mesmerizing as yours or as cute.
I've seen many shades of blue, in my room, on people at school, wherever I am there is something blue.
But I can search far and wide,
Look at a million sets of eyes and never find ones as capturing as yours.
A simple glance and I'm stuck in a trance of your everlasting beauty.
I'm marvelled at all you are and all you want to be.
At all your aspirations and all your dreams.
And I just hope to be a part of your life forever.
If I had just that happen, life can't get any better.
Like having an angel by my side wherever I go.
People that stop to admire your angelic glow.
You're off the charts, words just can't describe.
How sweet, and how perfect you are I n my eyes.
Oh how talking to you makes me smile.
How having you know I exist makes life worthwhile.
How wanting to one day be able to call you mine.
I'm so grateful and glad you're apart of my life.
Sep 20, 2014
Sep 20, 2014 at 10:02 PM UTC
It's 4:19 in the morning and I'm awake because I chose not to sleep.
And I would have nothing to do but I have a friend talking to me.
If I texted you now, I'm sure you wouldn't be awake.
Cause I know you, you've got things to do, tomorrow is another busy day.
So you never have time for me, you never have time to talk.
And I understand, I get it, and that's why we don't talk a lot.
But a lot turns to a bit and then a bit turns to not at all.
In my world you're so big and important but in yours I'm so small.
Unless it sounds like I'm in danger, in trouble or hurt you don't message me back.
And you'll never message me first, although I always hope for that.
And I'm getting tired of being such a small significance in your life.
Having you fool me into thinking you care about if I'm doing alright.
I really tried to be your friend, I messaged you in the day and the night.
But it was to no avail and I'm in a losing fight.
So next time you ask if I'm doing alright.
You can expect a "no" with no explanation why, and you'll know how abandoned I feel every single night
Sep 20, 2014
Sep 20, 2014 at 4:19 AM UTC
Hair that flows smoother than long grass in the wind.
It's that beautiful golden brown that food turns to when it's cooked to perfection.
A face that makes all people turn around to admire.
If she were alive back then, Charles Darwin, creator of the theory of evolution would have thrown out his theory because no ape could evolve into someone as perfect as her.
Her eyes, such a special shade of blue.
Unlike any other, there should crayon colour for her blue.
She is the definition of stunning, for one look and your mind shuts down.
Her beautiful eyes, you could stare at them forever.
One little quick smile could make any day better.
A smile that warms your heart, eyes that sparkle in the night.
The greatest writers would struggle to explain her immense beauty.
No proper words to sum her up no matter how large their vocabulary.
A face that's unforgettable, a heart with so much love.
A girl that you can't forget, no matter how far apart.
And this may sound like a love poem, well I guess you can say it is.
But it's the type of undying love you feel for a friend.
One who doesn't know her, worth or her beauty, if only she could see through my eyes
Then she would know about her beautiful smile.
One that brightens up your day, and shines brighter than the sub ever can.
Eyes that glisten and make you feel more lovely than walking barefoot in the sand.
She doesn't know of her beauty, but I promise you it's there.
But one say she'll know it, yeah one day she'll see it,
I'm sure of it, I swear.
Aug 3, 2014
Aug 3, 2014 at 5:31 PM UTC
Think before you speak, that's what they always say.
But my mind is like a bomb and it keeps ticking away.
Ticking and ticking, and soon it's gonna blow.
I don't know how to rewire it, to make it not explode.
So words flow out of me, with no warning or hold.
And I wanna say only words of love but it's hard to control,
all I say and all I feel. I try to put you first.
But it's not that easy, and I'm sorry you got hurt.
Cause my mind is like a labyrinth and I'm no Hercules.
And I've got no Greek goddess with magic string to help me see,
where I am going. I am completely lost.
And I can hear the ticking get faster, theres just 10 seconds on the clock.
It winds down to 9 and finally I think of something to say
Then it goes to 8 and that thought has gone away.
And in the blink of an eye I go from seven to 1.
In the blink of an eye my time is done.
And every time I talk to you, this is what goes on in my head.
It's like talking to you makes me brain dead.
You carry a little 10 second bomb with every word you say.
Puts me in a cycle, and it drives me insane.
And so no matter how insensitive, these words flow from my mouth.
And before I can stop they're already out.
This labyrinth, this maze, with a bomb I can never reach to shut off.
Just ticks till it explodes and then resets it's own watch.
And I'm sorry I can't control it, I swear that I've tried.
But to get it to stop working I would have to die.
Blow it up before it blows up inside of my head.
And so if you think that I'd be better off dead,
Then alive causing you pain or grief,
For all the damage I've caused I'll do you this one deed.
Next time the clocks ticks down, it'll go down right, 3, 2 and now one.
But this time it's not words that flow out when it explodes,
No this time it's blood.
Aug 3, 2014
Aug 3, 2014 at 2:46 PM UTC
A ball player and a thief
Will likely be pregnant by age 16.
Lives in the ghetto and is poor,
Often identified as a *****
Runs fast and does drugs,
Hangs around with gangsters and thugs.
Has a gun or a friend with one.
Speaks in slang, must be part of a gang.
Mess with her, she'll pull a Sharkeisha on you.
If you were to picture a person of any race,
That fits the description that just took place.
A baller and **** hmm... what race matches that?
Yeah you're right, that person is probably black.
Is fast, does drugs, and speaks with slang?
Lemme guess, is he also in a gang?
A young mother who is also poor?
Bet she doesn't know who the dad is, what a *****
All these negative stereotypes associated with being black.
Its disheartening, sicking and its really sad.
And whats sadder is that if you are the opposite of all of that,
You are often told that you're not really black.
Does your skin colour change for going to Harvard?
Will it change for speaking like an English scholar?
Because I play hockey and not ball, does that make me white?
So what if I'm the type of person to run away from a fight?
You don't have to be irresponsible and rude to be considered black.
It's your ethnic background that determines that.
And to some people, all we are is the complexion of our face.
Light, dark, somewhere in the middle, to some, the bad of a few defines
our whole race.
Does running away from a cop, and being black give someone grounds to shoot?
Why is it that my skin color is what is most important to you?
Is asking a question when getting arrested for no visible reason really resisting arrest?
Does struggling to break free from restraints to catch my breath, give someone a reason to grab on tighter to strangle me to death?
The actions of a few don't define the actions of a whole group.
And this assumption that all black are thugs, thieves and liars has done clear damage to,
Michael Brown, Eric Garner, Trayvon Martin and so many more.
They didn't know it, but just by being black, they put their lives at risk when they stepped out their door.
Don't you think it's gotten too far when we have to prove Black Lives Matter, or when we the saying of a movement is Hands Up, Don't Shoot.
Should people have to be reminded that blacks are real people and that our lives matter too?
We are athletes and musicians.
Lawyers and physicians.
The leader of a nation.
An anchorman of a news station.
We don't all fit into that mold that is preset for us.
You can and should expect great things of us.
Because we don't have to be a **** or a baller to be considered black.
We define what type of black person we are, we determine that.
Feb 11, 2014
Feb 11, 2014 at 2:04 PM UTC
How long can your legs quake, your body shake, before your heart breaks?
How many times do you have to be knocked down before you can't pick yourself off the ground?
How much taunting and teasing does one have to do before it finally kills you?
Imagine being born into a family that loves you very much.
They work hard to provide for you and give you what you want.
Your mom works two jobs to provide for your basic needs.
Your dad works too, works 24/7, to make sure you get food to eat.
There's no money for toys or fancy clothes, but that's okay with you.
You still manage to smile, happy as always, doing what you love to do.
Now imagine being judged, taunted, ridiculed, insulted; for enjoying the little you have.
By someone who's rich with everything they want, but who's also incredibly sad.
And this sadness inside has messed with their head, it's not fair that you get to smile.
She is rich, she has so much money, but she secretly hates her life.
Imagine this person has made it their job to bring down your mood.
Imagine this person, knowing you're poor, always spits in your food.
Imagine this person, wearing their fancy clothes, throws you in the trash.
Imagine this person, that you don't even know, has made being alive sad.
You used to smile everyday, thanked your parents for what you had.
You never cared about the clothes you wore, you never thought you looked bad.
But this one kid who was upset with their life, took out their anger on you.
The words she said and the things she did had changed your point of view,
On life. You hated it, now you just wanted to die.
The pain she's caused is so immense you now longer loved your life.
That person who decided to ruin your life, to make life seem more "right".
Now that you have lost your joy she can finally sleep at night.
She's stolen your smile, killed you inside and she knows she's caused you pain.
But see, she thinks she was wronging some rights, so she is finally sane.
But you, you've lost all will to live. It'd be better if you were dead.
And so that's constantly in your thoughts, would people be happier instead?
You don't wanna believe it'll help anyone, what would your parents do?
They'd no longer have to work all night, cause no you means more food.
No you means more money, they can finally be at peace.
I would have never imagined that my parents would be better off without me.
It's 4 in the morning and I am awake, writing my parents a note.
I've told them I love them and because of that, its time for me to go.
I'll be gone forever, there's no bringing me back, as I will have bled to death.
You can find my body, drowned in the tub, clear water that would have turned red.
So she walks to the tub and fills it up, takes her clothes off and slips inside.
She tells herself, this suffering will end. Finally I can die.
And so she grabs the blade, closes her eyes and places it on her skin.
Drags it across, lets out a quiet sigh and lets herself sink in.
But I'd wonder what comment could be so bad, you would feel you're better dead than alive.
What was said to her, that made her lose her will to survive.
Was it the person who judged her for what she wore?
Was it the harassment she faced for being poor?
Was it the comment about her unwashed dress or was it the ripped shoes?
Was it her being told she would always be poor or was if the spitting in the food?
It shouldn't even matter what insult was said.
Her being happy and poor doesn't mean she deserved to be dead.
"Don't judge a book by its cover", it also means by class.
Being of a lower class shouldn't result in being harassed.
It's not something anyone chooses, so be careful what you say.
Cause once its said, it can't be forgotten and someone's life might be taken away.
Dec 8, 2013
Dec 8, 2013 at 10:55 PM UTC