michael-mcbride
American
so ive been going through alot of trouble within the past year or so when things got real bad. So I turned to poetry (and drawing) to help cope with a bunch of my feelings. I'm really insecure about my writing, but i still want to be able to share it with others. but ive been too afraid to show any of my friends or family so i figured this would be a good start. / / i dont think any of it is really all that good but please feel free to leave your opinions/ critiques, or even advice regardless how harsh.
I feel sick now.
Jaw clenched tight.
As the suns shine,
Begins to fade.
Holding it in,
With all my might.
Dimmed and flickering now.
Holding on with no aide.
Trying not to explode.
IM NOT LOOSING THIS FIGHT!
Like a candle.
Lit only to be seen,
By those who could.
Those, the only who should.
Lit to bring light to this darkness.
Which has risen upon me.
Wax burns away..
As night turns to day.
For what should be replaced,
By the light of the sun.
Is returned only back,
To the absence of light.
The dark slowly creeps in.
Unforgiving,
For any sin.
Not the large or the small.
Mar 4, 2013
Mar 4, 2013 at 11:56 AM UTC
I can't take this
I'm gonna break
deep thoughts
falling into the abyss
of sorrow
looking ahead
towards tomorrow
but theres no light
at the end of this tunnel
i can't stand it
are you happy
that you've done this to me
now i
can't stand the ******* sight of you
the look
your smell
everything about you
disgusts me
churns my stomach
your empty promises
pierce right through me
like a needle through a vest
or my bullet through your chest
your history
you mean nothing to me
and you try to call yourself a father
but yet you won't even call
why?
thats all i want to know
i want reasons
not excuses
I've grown to old for 'em
there getting useless
i see right through 'em
i'm not stupid
its your loss
ill get through this
but you'll have to live with this
I've done it a thousand times before
you'd say you come
i'd sit and wait
but not even get a call
I'm done wasting my time
i gotta let go
before i commit a crime
by the way dad
i miss you..
but you've blown that now
your chances are done
and now i'm sitting behind this gun
waiting for you to bite the bullet
so all these lies
and deceit will end
no longer will
i have to wait for it to amend
goodbye..
Nov 22, 2012
Nov 22, 2012 at 12:00 PM UTC
i sit and lie awake
no longer in hate
no longer dreading
the new day to break
you make my heart sing
and rejoyce.
i lie awake
atincipating the new days dawn
the times spent
it went
so fast
the way we met
so suddenly
you were nothing to me
but now you have become me
digging me out of the hole i was in
bringing me to life
back to the surface
like phoenix
rising from its own ashes
rebirthed to a new
openminded
self divided
mind blowingly new self
to live and breathe
once again
no longer do i dread
the sun to come up
now i cant wait for it to arise
so we can once again be together
forever
my little sunshine
i cannot begin to express
my love for you
i say i am true
and so do you
i pray to a god i dont believe in
to know that you mean what you say
and you say what you mean
i am yours
and you are mine
to hold
to love
and to find
a new way
a day
when we can be free
no longer clamped
in the hands of the man
free
free to be
to live
to die
together..
Nov 5, 2012
Nov 5, 2012 at 1:59 AM UTC
for awhile i looked at my soul as an endless abyss
an abyss that was filled with hate and sorrow
going through many a days
not looking forward to tomorrow
but you made me realize
that its not filled with sorrow
but love for you
its that sinking feeling
in my stomach just with the thought of you
the way your whole face shines
like the sun in the sky
with just a smile
and how your eyes twinkle
like the moon and stars in the night
its the way you hold me
the fact that we never fight
and no matter how long the while
i miss you when were apart
and this is only the start
Sep 4, 2012
Sep 4, 2012 at 11:01 PM UTC
Today
Just doesn't feel right.
Yesterday
Took off
With flight.
Tomorrow
I worry.
I can't wrap my head
Around this.
When were together you seem
To care.
When were not
You appear so rare..
Where are we at?
I'm so confused!
Where will we be in the future?
You need to choose.
I want you,
Like plants want the sun.
I need you,
Like fish need water
In the pond.
Have we moved to fast?
I can't tell.
To me all this just
Feels oh so natural.
Am I wrong to feel this way?
I honestly can't say.
I need an answer!
Maybe not today
Please think about it.
My feelings for you,
Grow inside me
Like a cancer.
Bigger and greater
As the days roll past.
But maybe one day
Some day.
I will have my answer.
And on this day,
I will finally have my day in the sun.
Aug 11, 2012
Aug 11, 2012 at 7:18 PM UTC
Why must this be
How is this happening
You always mange to
Grab a hold of me
Didn't I say
I was done with these games?
Such foolish games
I don't like to play
You know I don't like this
FAll you do is say
These things I cannot hear
I will not
But your a whorl pool
In my sea of sorrow
Grabbing ahold
Never ceases to let go
For so long
You always come back
WHY WON'T YOU JUST GO!!
And get out of my head
I want to fall back
Before you came to be
I lived happy
My soul was free
Which seemed it could last
A whole eternity
But now our souls have met
Once again
And will forever be
Until my end
Aug 2, 2012
Aug 2, 2012 at 11:52 PM UTC
sitting and wishing
waiting
forever itching
to find my way
avoiding the broken path
i like an adventure
take me through the paths
that have yet been unfolded
discover but only to wonder
i want to open a new world
free my mind
float not to be molded
tarpped and strapped
in this life
of being told
what to do and when to do it
i want to drift off in the sea
for forever to be free
swim with the fish
then learn to fly
take off like a bird
flying high in the sky
floating away
finding new worlds
and ways to live
being free
doing whatever i please
living my life
me just being me
Aug 1, 2012
Aug 1, 2012 at 1:36 AM UTC
thoughts race again
as the daytime flies by
only for the night to crawl past
waiting for morning to begin
i think i might just drown
in that ocean of sorrow
falling down deeper and deeper
wait till tomorrow
to find the answers
until it becomes clearer
im scared now
where does it come from
this emptiness
becoming emotionless
once again
this night
just never ends
i cant get the thoughts out of my head
and just rest
i long for answers
happiness and joy
to no longer to mourn
and scorn
myself
i lay restless in bed
searching
to find no end
to this ongoing cycle
of ups and downs
where to go
or what to do
no cant turnaround
now
too late to go back
you can never do that
you can only go forward
but why must it be
forward and back
not up or down
or left and right
who defines these things?
i can tell you its not me
im just ranting now
but how
shall i go on
and push forth?
if im not sure what im pushing for
or longing to be
im just me
used
confused
a good kid they say
only if they knew
the thoughts
that fill my head
while i lay in this bed
night after night
as i lose
this never ending fight
with my own life
how can i think to be with you?
or anyone?
if i cant be me
how can i be?
i dont even know me
i question who i am
i often wonder who i am
in this world
im lost
confused
broken
and scarred
as i say
but this life goes on
and so will yours
without control
its up to destiny
no other remedy
Jul 22, 2012
Jul 22, 2012 at 2:33 AM UTC
you
you make me smile
my cloudy days full of sunshine
not rain
at least for a little while
i wish i could express my feelings to you
the butterflies i get just thinking
of
well you know who
its you
the feelings i have for you
that i wish you had for me
are true
although i know
that we are not one together
but just two
lonely rain drops
lost into a sea of emptiness
i long for more
i feel you just adore
my company
not me for me
until i see you again
the sweet smell of your hair
arm in arm
hand in hand
for the time being
until you leave and only then
to be
lost again
in that sea
the lonely sea
controlling me
swallowing me whole
drowning deeper and deeper
until my soul
can no longer be
anything but an abyss
that longs for you
who i miss
no one else
just you
you deserve better than you have
its hurts so bad
to see you frown
it makes me sad
i wish
i could turn
this whole world upside down
just to see
you
happy at last
to see you smile
that beautiful smile
one of kind
the one that makes
my heart beat fast
one which i cannot find
anywhere else
but here
when your near
happy at last
Jul 22, 2012
Jul 22, 2012 at 12:04 AM UTC
you
you make me smile
my cloudy days full of sunshine
not rain
at least for a little while
i wish i could express my feelings to you
the butterflies i get just thinking
of
well you know who
its you
the feelings i have for you
that i wish you had for me
are true
although i know
that we are not one together
but just two
lonely rain drops
lost into a sea of emptiness
i long for more
i feel you just adore
my company
not me for me
until i see you again
the sweet smell of your hair
arm in arm
hand in hand
for the time being
until you leave and only then
to be
lost again
in that sea
the lonely sea
controlling me
swallowing me whole
drowning deeper and deeper
until my soul
can no longer be
anything but an abyss
that longs for you
who i miss
no one else
just you
you deserve better than you have
its hurts so bad
to see you frown
it makes me sad
i wish
i could turn
this whole world upside down
just to see
you
happy at last
to see you smile
that beautiful smile
one of kind
the one that makes
my heart beat fast
one which i cannot find
anywhere else
but here
when your near
happy at last
Jul 22, 2012
Jul 22, 2012 at 12:03 AM UTC