There has got to be
another way
to temper my over-indulgent emotions
rather this prescription
Oct 2, 2020
Oct 2, 2020 at 3:02 AM UTC
I shiver within the comforting confines of my tattered jacket;
the ragged hood embracing my head
and partially obscuring my face.
Suddenly grateful for the poor lighting;
pumpkin-orange opaque and ***** a parking lot
nearly swallowed by the encroaching nighttime.
You are confused by my excess emotions again.
I can tell by your expression;
impatience folding slowly over your countenance
and your clenching hands needing to hold a
cigarette in order to relax or become distracted.
In silence and my own discomfort,
I look up at the sky and can see the stars
Oct 2, 2020
Oct 2, 2020 at 2:59 AM UTC
If I fantasize about you coming back to me
then I don't have to let you go
my reality
is almost perfected....
I'll choose insanity because it has you in it.
I'll choose dillusion because, there.... you tell me you love me still
I'll choose denial because hopelessness can feel like hope
the only world I want to accept
is the one where, in it, you're lying next to me.
I'll choose insanity
instead of accepting that you left a long time ago.
Tonight.... I'm lying here, nearly asleep, and you're lying next to me.
Perfect
Oct 2, 2020
Oct 2, 2020 at 1:47 AM UTC
Can I watch you float out to sea
and find the words inside of me
to deeply convey what I meant to be
find inside creativity
without succumbing to my destiny?
If your poison made my words more colourful
I would still hesitate to drink
watching you tread in stoic silence
towards a cold world that ends your heartbeat.
You toe and then slide foot into the shallow end
every time you open your eyes and breathe
your conscious breath
treading tepid water and ceaseless existence
once your poison takes it's hold.
Can I watch you float out to sea
and find the words inside of me
to deeply convey what I meant to be
find inside creativity
without succumbing to my destiny?
I've known you my whole life
pop can tops at 4am while others are sleeping.
Sometimes instead now there is sickness
hidden away in corners so no one hears.
Your chosen drink could transform my words.
I know it opens my soul
breaks it wide open with clumsy insistence
and gives no regard, no boundaries or restrictions.
Can I watch you float out to sea
and find the words inside of me
to deeply convey what I meant to be
find inside creativity
without succumbing to my destiny?
Jul 31, 2015
Jul 31, 2015 at 6:15 AM UTC
Your body makes mine
aware
that we are truly living.
Jul 31, 2015
Jul 31, 2015 at 4:51 AM UTC
You're delusional
You don't even know
You don't know me
You say you love me and I feel it
Becoming so confused and hurt
when you mistook my actions......
couldn't see my heart
.....or you refused.
Dimly, suddenly I realize
that the parts
you love so much are the qualities
and persona I have had to adapt
to stop the arguments....the pain
and constant constant blame.
No
I wasn't aware at first it was to
please you
you are a master manipulator
and you finally confessed you knew
a while ago,
that I'd do anything for you.
You knew before I knew.
Like the self-serving, egotistical, twisted
person I have discovered you to be,
you saw my love and slowly started to
mold me,
contort me to meet your needs.
And like the self-hating, twisted, narcissist
I am, once I noticed the sick dark places
you were taking me,
it was already too late.
You preyed on the weakness you
saw in me, and made me like the
fall from grace I now was an active part
of contributing to.
I'm only a fragile paper-thin
watered-down version of the me
I started to be
before you made me crazy.
I hate that I loved letting you.
Jul 31, 2015
Jul 31, 2015 at 4:31 AM UTC
Can't even join the
rat race
Lonely, sitting here
caged.
Jul 16, 2015
Jul 16, 2015 at 3:58 PM UTC
If you could see the inside of a person
they would look rather congealed and drippy
but.....
metaphorically much different than who they are on the outside.
You know,
the skin part throws us all off to inner beauty
and their desires and needs and vulnerabilities.
However, personally....
I'll take the heads with teeth in their mouths and skin on
their faces.
Hopefully they have enough brains in their skulls
(and not falling all over the ground)
to spill their own guts over a drink (several, if they insist)
without me having to see them instead.
Fairly certain
the epic distraction of their viscera
would sincerely disparage what they were attempting to convey anyhow.
Jul 16, 2015
Jul 16, 2015 at 1:34 AM UTC
You changed
The patterns in Time's tapestry
quickly rearranged
The shifting of the clock gears
slowly
Even as I suppressed the tears
knowing
You could not help it
Jul 15, 2015
Jul 15, 2015 at 11:42 PM UTC
It really isn't a poem
It's a way of life without you in it
choking on words that might have made it different
your resentment and bitterness
still couldn't overrule my love of you
leaving to preserve what was left
Jul 13, 2015
Jul 13, 2015 at 11:47 AM UTC