you were different
i let myself feel things that i normally don't
you said things you shouldn't have
and when i ask you about them, you get annoyed
or say you don't want to think about it
"love you mia, i always will," you say
yet you're still with her
"i would go crazy if i couldn't have you as a friend,"
yet you are perfectly fine on the days we don't speak
you said you dreamt about us cuddling and that it felt amazing
you also said that when you dream about her,
they're never as good
and yet i still see you in the halls
holding hands with her,
hugging her,
kissing her
that really ******* hurts.
regardless, i would still give you another chance
and maybe that's my own problem, but it's true
i tend to put walls up
and as hard as i tried to not let them fall,
you broke through them
you.
people don't typically show romantic interest in me
so when you did, it scared me
i have a bad fear of people leaving
but i told myself that you were different
i don't really know why
maybe it's because you make me laugh like no one else does
maybe it's because the way you say my name
or maybe it's because i could see us being together for a long time
maybe because you give me a sense of hope
i don't know what is but you make me feel like i have a real chance of being happy
i wish you would've given us a real chance
and as frustrated as i am,
i'm still hoping that you'll give us a chance one day
you met her parents this past weekend
i wonder how it went
part of me wants to be happy for you
but another part of me hopes that it doesn't work out
so that the likelihood of us being together increases
i know it's wrong,
that if i really care about you i should just want you to be happy
but i can't help but feel jealous
it's like i was just something you could play with
whenever you were bored,
or lonely
but no more
and to think
i thought that i was falling in love with you
you were supposed to be different.
Nov 13, 2018
Nov 13, 2018 at 4:59 PM UTC
**WHY DO I LIKE YOU SO MUCH
WHY ARE YOU ON MY MIND CONSTANTLY
WHY DO YOU MAKE ME FEEL THIS WAY
WHY MUST YOUR LAUGH BE SO ****** cUtE
WHY MUST YOUR SMILE LiGHt uP MY LIFE
AND MOST IMPORTANTLY,
WHY DON'T YOU FEEL THE SAME ABOUT ME.**
Jan 26, 2016
Jan 26, 2016 at 12:09 AM UTC
maybe i wanna hold your hand
and kiss your lips.
maybe i wanna wake up to your face
and fall asleep in your arms.
maybe i wanna go on cute dates
and maybe i want you to spontaneously
show up at my door step.
maybe you are my first thought when i
awake and
maybe you are my last thought when i fall
asleep.
maybe i want to talk about society and
politics and why we are even here on this
massive universe in the first place.
maybe i just wanna be yours.
12/22/15
Dec 23, 2015
Dec 23, 2015 at 3:53 PM UTC
beautiful.
sweet.
kind.
loving.
cute.
handsome.
adorable.
understanding.
reliable.
these are a few of the many words that
pop into my head when i think of you.
12/20/15
Dec 23, 2015
Dec 23, 2015 at 3:46 PM UTC
i don't really know why i miss you so ******* much.
i don't really know why you are all i ever ******* think about.
i don't really know why it still hurts.
i don't really know why i still love you.
i don't really know why i still care about you.
i don't really know why i still want you.
i should hate you.
you broke my heart,
you ******* tore me apart.
i think i'll always love and think about you,
regardless of how much it hurts.
Oct 11, 2015
Oct 11, 2015 at 12:20 AM UTC
it's time.
it has been three months.
you have moved on.
you have found someone else.
you even admitted you never loved me.
i should let you go.
it's time.
but i can't let you go.
Sep 15, 2015
Sep 15, 2015 at 8:16 PM UTC
i used to write poems about my love for you,
and now,
i write poems about the pain of losing you.
i used to be somewhat happy,
and now,
i cry myself to sleep **every ******* night**.
i used to spend every second of every day talking to you,
and now,
i spend every second of everyday hoping and wishing you will text me.
**you were the reason for my happiness,
and now,
you are the reason for my sadness.**
Aug 18, 2015
Aug 18, 2015 at 9:08 PM UTC
i was never in love with you, i just
couldn't accurately describe the color
of your eyes. they weren't blue but
they weren't green either. maybe they
were a blue green? no, definitely not.
i was never in love with you, my heart
just beat so fat it could basically
jump out of my chest when your
fingers brushed against my thigh, and
were between mine.
i was never in love with you, i just
couldn't get you off my mind.
i was never in love with you, i just
stared at your lips while you spoke,
and even when you weren't speaking.
your lips that used to be pressed to
mine. the trails of kisses you left still
burning my skin.
i was never in love with you, it just felt
like i was.
(who am i kidding, i loved you with all i had,)
Aug 17, 2015
Aug 17, 2015 at 7:16 PM UTC
i thought being with you would be okay.
i thought i was going to be alright, happy even, with you around.
i thought we were going to last forever.
i thought you would never be the one to ruin me.
i thought of you as the one who would never hurt me.
but ******* i was wrong.
i was so ******* wrong.
Aug 9, 2015
Aug 9, 2015 at 11:53 PM UTC
i miss you.
i miss the way you always held out your hand when you wanted to interlock your fingers with mine, as if you needed permission.
i miss the way you held me tightly whenever we hugged, like you never wanted to let go.
i miss the way you looked at me with so much love and happiness in your eyes.
i miss the way you smiled so big whenever we spoke.
i miss the way you used all these different big words whenever you told me how much you cared about me. i had to look up the meaning of those words every time.
i miss the way you looked at me when i laughed, you looked so happy.
please, come back.
i miss you.
Jun 23, 2015
Jun 23, 2015 at 2:35 PM UTC