We discarded each other like used tissues
And you never looked back
But I did
I ripped through the trash
Trying the find the broken shambles
Left over from who you used to be
Because you fractured yourself
Again
But this time you didn't give me enough time
To put you back together
You let me try
When you knew it was useless
You let me love
When you knew it was fervorless
You let me hope
When you knew I was hopeless
Though time has taught me
That you are the hopeless one
I cannot forget about you
But I can move past the idea
That you are the only one
Who could possibly love
A person like me
But you
You will always manipulate
And toy with
And loose the people who care about you
And until you can move past that
You will always be alone
Jan 17, 2015
Jan 17, 2015 at 7:20 PM UTC
It makes me think of when
You loved me
If you did
But at least then
I felt wanted
But I can't feel like that
Cause you were no good for me
And now I know
That when the sun sets
It leaves me alone with my thoughts
And that's not a safe place to be
Because your mindset is unhealthy
And I get wrapped up in it
And then there's no going back
If there ever was
Dec 3, 2014
Dec 3, 2014 at 12:12 AM UTC
It seems like my life is a train set on a track
I'm tied to that track waiting for my own fate to destroy me
And it will
Or you will
Whichever comes first
And that kind face looking at me
Over the brownies rapped in napkins
That we say we will save for later
But end up throwing away
Is the only thing I can take solace in
In knowing that there is something to look forward to
When I'm walking down windowless hallways
That remind me of prisons
Everywhere but that table
Everything but that ponytail
Everyone but you
Has proven that they can do better
But we shared secrets over the Pacific
And across the skies we made ourselves
We made each other a fort to hide our cries in
To escape the world in
But that had to go too
And I watch them all walk away
From my bed
Where they left me to be alone
But they forgot about the most important thing
You love me most.
Nov 23, 2014
Nov 23, 2014 at 3:43 PM UTC
I was foolish to think that things ever
Change
It is always the same
The only thing that changes is seasons
I thought the north would help
A change of scenery
A change of pace
A change of color
A change of seasons
Maybe a change in the way I see my life
Or in the way life sees me
But I was wrong
Nothing changes
Nov 23, 2014
Nov 23, 2014 at 3:30 PM UTC
I think It's about time to show my face
I've been hiding behind personas
Sung by my angels
For far too long
And it's starting to occur to me that
I don't need to be ashamed of how I feel
Or felt
There are a stack of unfinished verses
I tried to string together
But the feelings aren't there anymore
And this time I'm not lying
I think I'm done
I think I'm finally over with tear soaked pillow cases
And giving the universe all my words
But being too ashamed to admit their mine
So they're mine
They're mine I'm ready to come clean
Nov 11, 2014
Nov 11, 2014 at 8:09 PM UTC
I'm getting to that place where this feels necessary again
Where my need for validation
Runs higher than my self worth
And I need someone to tell me I'm right
To tell me I'm good
To tell me I'm acceptable
And not in a passive way
I'm done being passive
You tell me what's good for me
And you go off and betray the only one who ever loved you
And that not me
And he's too far away to notice
But the six hour drive is nothing to him
Cause then he gets to see you
And you're giving him up for someone a thirty second walk away
Selfish
You have the world on a string
But that's not enough
You need to cosmos too
And I thought I was done with all this
But it's becoming more and more evident that
It never ends
The stupidity never ends
The selfishness never ends
The greed
It never ends
And for me
Second place is all I get
I am perpetually wearing that blue ribbon
I try to hide it from new faces
Because it forces me to take off my mask
Which is probably see-threw anyway
Cause I've never been able to trick people for very long
They all seem to come to the same conclusion eventually
And when they do
I'm left
Sitting alone
Wondering what I could have done better
Id like to say the answer is nothing
That I did all I could
That they're all ******
And some day you'll find people who actually like you
But those words are more tired than the socks left on the handles
That will never be clean again
Nov 5, 2014
Nov 5, 2014 at 11:53 PM UTC
Bang
My life flashed before my eyes
And your face was nowhere to be seen
Apr 30, 2014
Apr 30, 2014 at 10:09 PM UTC
Can I be done yet?
Can I be done with the lies
And the fear that someday
Your back will turn on me
As it has to so many others
Can I be done with the being let down
Because the expectations I have of you
Aren't even that high
I just wanted you to be there for me
But you left.
Can I be done yet?
Done with the broken promises
Of love and otherwise
Because you had no intention
Of ever putting meaning into those empty words
Can I be done with the back and forth
I need a constant
I need you to stay
Or I need you to go
But I don't need you popping in and out as you please
And I would rather it is you just disappeared
Can I be done yet?
Can I be done with feeling like I'm not good enough for you
Or your family
Even though I have never tried harder
To be worthy of someone
Can I be done with the judgment
And the subtle ways you prove to me
That you will always be
More important to me
Than I am to you
Can I be done yet?
Can I be done with feeling like I owe you something
When you have done
Absolutely nothing for me
Except make me feel as if
I am unloved
By the people I love most
Can I be done with always worrying about you
When you don't bat an eyelash at me
Why do I know your problem
But you don't know mine
And more importantly
Why don't you tell me yourself
Can I be done yet?
Can I be done with doing everything for you
With nothing in return
With promises of payback
But those words always being empty
And void of any true intention
Can I be done with the disrespect
And having to get along
With everyone you tell me to
But you never want to be around my friends
Because they aren't good enough for you
Can I finally be done yet?
Apr 22, 2014
Apr 22, 2014 at 8:30 PM UTC
The moons never talked to you
The way you wanted them to
Because they saw the truth
They saw your lies
In a way I could never
The northern lights dimmed when they caught sight of you
And the milky way shied away
Because if stars are good at one thing
It's fear
You've painted my heart black
And at first you told me it was so
I could travel the night with you
Unnoticed
But I've recently realized how many things
Are wrong with that statement
You never cared about me
You cared about the wind
And how it disappeared when you got far enough away
You liked the seclusion
You feed off the feelings of lose
People feel when you travel
When the sky turns pink
Thats when you'll return to me
From you illustrious travels
My dear Foreigner
That is when I will trust you with my heart again
When the sky tells me it is right
Because the sky is the only person left who hasn't lied to me
And all I want is to rest in her stars
And all I want is for the lies to be done
And all I want is for the loneliness to subside
And it's not to much to ask for
Because I know just how to do it
Apr 22, 2014
Apr 22, 2014 at 8:15 PM UTC
People slip through my fingers like sand
I can't hold onto anyone
Because there is always someone better
Why can't I ever be the someone who is better
Why am I not worthy of the same love that the world gets
Why do the children who I used to run with
Now make me feel as if everything has been stolen from me
Why am I never picked first in gym?
Not just in gym
Why am I never picked first at 2:00 am
Why am I always available
But the people around me would rather be elsewhere
There are no exceptions to this state of being
This loneliness
The company is only temporary
Because everyone who is important in my life
Has someone more
And it's no secret
People see
People laugh when I tell them who my best friends are
Because they know I am not their's
Why am I never their's
Why am I always alone
Sitting at my house
Writing these words
That you will never know were for you
I guess this is just a one way road
And I'm the idiot driving the wrong way
You'll never truly grasp how important you are to me
But I guess thats good
It's saves me a lot of embarrassment
Apr 22, 2014
Apr 22, 2014 at 8:06 PM UTC