Staggering through this suspension
Time cannot be impatient in this
What you wait for is
The permission to continue to live
MRI on Friday
Jul 10, 2025
Jul 10, 2025 at 12:47 PM UTC
A city cries when it rains. Nature pushes it back inside itself. Left naked to truth we can only hide under the blankets of guilt and derision. For it we who have built this beast called city. On cold rainy nights I would ride the trains. Back then you could buy a day pass for two bucks, but some nights I didn’t have the money, so you just crossed your fingers that the fare inspectors wouldn’t catch you. I would ride for hours, watching people, and watching the movie that ran by outside the window. Humanity stretches on forever in the frame by frame awareness of how the earth has been conquered, reshaped, distorted into shapes that allow profits to become gods.
But we who were left alone to wander through the heap piles of profit and gain, speak in the tongues reserved for starving souls. The only thing you can bleed out is a truth that is tethered to a truth that not even Plato could conjure up. But in the hollow of that emptiness we come to understand who are the fortunate, and who are the slaves. Spit bitter and smile at the face of nothingness. For we are the ones who are free….
May 10, 2025
May 10, 2025 at 6:06 PM UTC
The nakedness of spring
We were raw and ******
What the winter had drawn from us
Went into hibernation
Turning the soil was fresh
It placed us back into
The lineage of mother farmer
Of both love and dying
The scent of being human
I always dreamed that she had dark hair
And brown eyes
Her dress would be of summer
Standing at the end of the field
Free of undergarments
And bleeding into the earth
We would lunch on grass salad
I would crave her lips with every bite
But dreams are blind
Apr 18, 2025
Apr 18, 2025 at 12:17 AM UTC
She carries her heart like paper
Creased in folds unseen
and unread in paragraphs unwritten
Her poem is scattered and misunderstood
Words crawl back into words
Desire pierces through the veils of her desires
Tasting what is real seems a pointless walk
Through what is and what is not
Her truths are scribbled in the margins
At night she
Tucks them into the cracks of her soul
She carries her heart like paper
All the while knowing that
It could burst into flames at any given moment
Any given kiss, any given touch,
any given word or any given glance
She only pretends that life is not so fragile
But she knows that the fragility is what binds us all together
It is written there somewhere in the preamble
That someone read aloud before she was born
It is the subtext in all her poems
She carries her heart like paper
As she breathes heavy in white mist mornings
The most alive as she can be
It is silent as she walks through herself
Peering through her heart
She bleeds her water in the rain
It washes through the fabric
Of her beginning
Leaving her soul fresh and unwritten
Individuated from any god she could create
She blends into the fog
Apr 17, 2025
Apr 17, 2025 at 11:56 PM UTC
I trespass again, into that sanctum that harbors everything we are
Yet we can’t know what we are
So the rooms and hallways are only a softly lit maze
Where tender and dreams and resolve and fear and breaths and sleep and pain
All rest in undefined spaces
I sit under a large tree, not knowing the species
The park is quiet and the bench is cold
A girl passes, strangely intent on her direction
As if she is pushing forward as much as she is push something away behind her
Her lips, a bright shade of red
The way it reflects in her face
Suggests
She is always wearing that shade of lipstick
She has always had bright red lips
And what corridor led her to that constitution
Where does she keep herself
Do her rooms look anything like mine
And how could we ever know
On the phone last night L sounded lonely
It was in the way she let her guard down between words
Whether either or both of us wanted it to be over
I knew we no longer knew
We speak too often
And fourteen years has its own constitution
Its own balance sheet and its own life
There is a room where the two of us will always exist
Just as there is one for my father
And my mother
And that beggar child in Guatemala
So many rooms
I laid my phone on my chest after we finished talking
And felt its weight hold down my breath
I wanted to sink into the earth
And disappear into the strata below
Wishing I could crawl into spaces that exist in between
A part of life I cannot live
The girl with the red lips comes walking back
Her pace is exactly the same
Is she looking for that room that harbors her relief
Her freedom, her future
I am relieved that she has not noticed me
“We” do not exist
Nothing of us has been exchanged
She is only a part of a poem
A canvas that I can sketch out a view of a landscape
That we crawl over
Day after day
So many rooms
Apr 17, 2025
Apr 17, 2025 at 10:12 PM UTC
This winter is waiting
The old limb sways in a rhythm with the memories
I wander through
The storms I weathered within my heart
Burn the calluses into fleshes forgotten
The winds is whispering wisdoms
With the breath of my soul
We exhale what love could never have been
This winter is waiting
I would weep a song that brought flowers
To all those I have loved
The dust in my heart and the dust in my soul
Lay in a repose…. the strata lines are made of the pains
For all the things that slipped between the cracks in my heart
Some winds drown out the songs that echo within
But I suffice knowing that they are there….
Apr 16, 2025
Apr 16, 2025 at 11:36 PM UTC
He came there to **** him
The setting sun made the scene tranquil
Bathed in light unguarded
We were festive… and simple
The shots rang out
The shots tore into his chest
The shots tore through the village, through the hearts of all who knew him
The shots tore away what we were
The rain has washed away the blood
But can the rain drown out his wife’s mournful cries
Can the rain fall through us
Can the rain wash away what we are now
Apr 11, 2025
Apr 11, 2025 at 12:20 PM UTC
We are driven harshly
Through the storms of our love
The rains pierce the skin
That covers our hearts
The rains
Wash away the blood of our dreams
Those tattered edges bleed
The regrets of passion and its fictions
Are we that much alive
What is laid before us
To feel….to grasp
The thorn ****** to bleed
Scales falter
When in nights we clutch ourselves
In both disdain and in desire
Which blamed which
Self or fate
Or the simple fool
But blame need lay fallow
We must compromise ourselves
Letting those parts of our soul
Know the flesh
And the fire
Until the rains come again
Apr 6, 2025
Apr 6, 2025 at 10:12 PM UTC
I fragment thee….less a cloud than the rain
the portions we partition ourselves from
remain un-sketched
we are merely grasping the edges of an existence
we struggle to know
but in dreams the murals are painted vast
and there
we are whole
I fragment thee….less a cloud than the rain
Mar 30, 2025
Mar 30, 2025 at 11:19 PM UTC
Night runs through your veins
Alone with the stars
You cut a path into the heavy damp air
And pull life towards you
Brushing by silences
That whisper truths into your soul
Shadows become other worlds
You dissolve into
Pausing to breath in the night
The smile in your heart
Replenishes the desire to be alone
You exhale another chapter of yourself
Starlight shimmers on your skin
You pierce the solitude of darkness
And move ghostlike
Deeper into yourself
Heartbeats pound in your chest
Leaving the used parts of you behind on the path
Your footsteps become a rhythm
To this song of being alive
With the night
Mar 28, 2025
Mar 28, 2025 at 12:10 AM UTC
