metaphorical - Hello Poetry

They say that in order to truly hate someone There had to be a lot of love there to begin with And I think about the times you would sing to me in the car How we would dance in the kitchen while cooking dinner All the times I'd fall asleep with your hand stroking my hair Those moments were tender and felt so real But how is it love when you scream in my face When your words drip venom and your fists are clenched Love is not violent Love does not breed hate I don't know how you can separate the tenderness and the poison How do I wrestle with two realities at the same time I struggle often with my own guilt I never wanted to hurt you How do you sleep at night With the memory of your hands around my throat How were they the same hands that tussled my hair at night The same hands that cupped my sweaty face after birth The same hands that softly grip our daughter's In case you're wondering I can't sleep at all Some say we become obsessed with our abuser How can we not Survival mode does crazy things to our minds I'm tired of the madness

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Jul 7, 2022

Jul 7, 2022 at 12:09 AM UTC

Crazy Making

They say that in order to truly hate someone There had to be a lot of love there to begin with And I think about the times you would sing to me in the car How we would dance in the kitchen while cooking dinner All the times I'd fall asleep with your hand stroking my hair Those moments were tender and felt so real But how is it love when you scream in my face When your words drip venom and your fists are clenched Love is not violent Love does not breed hate I don't know how you can separate the tenderness and the poison How do I wrestle with two realities at the same time I struggle often with my own guilt I never wanted to hurt you How do you sleep at night With the memory of your hands around my throat How were they the same hands that tussled my hair at night The same hands that cupped my sweaty face after birth The same hands that softly grip our daughter's In case you're wondering I can't sleep at all Some say we become obsessed with our abuser How can we not Survival mode does crazy things to our minds I'm tired of the madness

24

I. Meeting your gaze for the first time Electricity arching between our eyes Silly grins and embarrassed laughter Pinkies brushing against one another Nervous glances and sly smiles Hands slipping comfortably together How do they fit so perfectly? II. Meeting your lips for the first time Bright white sparks fly between us Blushing cheeks and soft giggles Noses bumping into each other Intense quiet and wanting looks Hands running through hair How does this feel so natural? III. Meeting your body for the first time Burning fire spreading through our skin Gentle carasses and longing stares Hands bumping awkwardly together Hushed moans and passionate kisses Flesh thrusting into flesh How badly have we wanted this?

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Feb 18, 2022

Feb 18, 2022 at 2:07 AM UTC

First Time

I. Meeting your gaze for the first time Electricity arching between our eyes Silly grins and embarrassed laughter Pinkies brushing against one another Nervous glances and sly smiles Hands slipping comfortably together How do they fit so perfectly? II. Meeting your lips for the first time Bright white sparks fly between us Blushing cheeks and soft giggles Noses bumping into each other Intense quiet and wanting looks Hands running through hair How does this feel so natural? III. Meeting your body for the first time Burning fire spreading through our skin Gentle carasses and longing stares Hands bumping awkwardly together Hushed moans and passionate kisses Flesh thrusting into flesh How badly have we wanted this?

24

You asked what I wanted, And it's more of this My head feels heavy My heart is split But with you, the thoughts are quiet What if I could jump all the way in? Dreams about what our life could be Maybe I'm not thinking clearly I know its way too early Nothing makes sense But with you, it feels like peace Instant, insane connection Trust and communication Relieving word ***** A safe haven No expectations No conditions Just us as we are I've missed feeling like myself With you, it's effortless There's warmth in you I talk a lot without saying anything Yet the silence speaks volumes The important thing is that you hear it You listen, and breathe it in So what do I want? More than anything; to be loved And that's how I feel when I'm with you

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Feb 18, 2022

Feb 18, 2022 at 2:03 AM UTC

Conversation in my Head

You asked what I wanted, And it's more of this My head feels heavy My heart is split But with you, the thoughts are quiet What if I could jump all the way in? Dreams about what our life could be Maybe I'm not thinking clearly I know its way too early Nothing makes sense But with you, it feels like peace Instant, insane connection Trust and communication Relieving word ***** A safe haven No expectations No conditions Just us as we are I've missed feeling like myself With you, it's effortless There's warmth in you I talk a lot without saying anything Yet the silence speaks volumes The important thing is that you hear it You listen, and breathe it in So what do I want? More than anything; to be loved And that's how I feel when I'm with you

28

the words spill onto the page as i think about how my skin melts under your tongue how your tide shifts beneath my gaze how our garden flourishes out of the darkness and despite the miles of mud i trek through you are always traveling the road beside me listening supporting encouraging your palms stretch towards the clouds your eyes close as you welcome the warmth you are the child of sunbeams and ocean waves and i was birthed under an ebony sky in a river of moonlight somehow we met here in the middle and it is here in the middle that we love

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Jul 21, 2019

Jul 21, 2019 at 11:17 PM UTC

dawn

the words spill onto the page as i think about how my skin melts under your tongue how your tide shifts beneath my gaze how our garden flourishes out of the darkness and despite the miles of mud i trek through you are always traveling the road beside me listening supporting encouraging your palms stretch towards the clouds your eyes close as you welcome the warmth you are the child of sunbeams and ocean waves and i was birthed under an ebony sky in a river of moonlight somehow we met here in the middle and it is here in the middle that we love

15

"It comes in waves" More like it resurfaces You know, because depression is always with me, Just not always where you can see. It is the angsty teen hiding in his room until the guests leave. It is the bad poetry he keeps in a notebook under the bed. It is the pack of cigarettes he buries in his underwear drawer; Someone must search to find it. Depression cannot come in waves. If it could, wouldn't I be able to ride it out - Or is drowning my punishment for not learning how to surf? You see, because I have never surfed in my life. Everything must wash over me. I bathe in the ocean instead of the bathtub, I scrub saltwater into my paper cuts until they are more painful than an open wound in an attempt to validate the sadness that stays with me. Because even though it is nameless, it is as daunting as the dinner guest, Hidden, yet embarrassing letters on paper forming words resembling a poem, Intangible, but quickly filling my lungs and spreading into my bloodstream Imitating pleasure and escape while slowly releasing dangerous chemicals While exuding toxins that ****** my relationships and self-worth. If depression were waves, I could find beauty in them. Instead, my perception views dismemberments of values, Shattered pieces of what "before" looked like: Before the anxiety. Before the embarrassment. Before the shame. If depression truly comes in waves, give me time between to learn to ride them to shore.

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Feb 23, 2018

Feb 23, 2018 at 6:41 AM UTC

Waves (Spoken Word)

"It comes in waves" More like it resurfaces You know, because depression is always with me, Just not always where you can see. It is the angsty teen hiding in his room until the guests leave. It is the bad poetry he keeps in a notebook under the bed. It is the pack of cigarettes he buries in his underwear drawer; Someone must search to find it. Depression cannot come in waves. If it could, wouldn't I be able to ride it out - Or is drowning my punishment for not learning how to surf? You see, because I have never surfed in my life. Everything must wash over me. I bathe in the ocean instead of the bathtub, I scrub saltwater into my paper cuts until they are more painful than an open wound in an attempt to validate the sadness that stays with me. Because even though it is nameless, it is as daunting as the dinner guest, Hidden, yet embarrassing letters on paper forming words resembling a poem, Intangible, but quickly filling my lungs and spreading into my bloodstream Imitating pleasure and escape while slowly releasing dangerous chemicals While exuding toxins that ****** my relationships and self-worth. If depression were waves, I could find beauty in them. Instead, my perception views dismemberments of values, Shattered pieces of what "before" looked like: Before the anxiety. Before the embarrassment. Before the shame. If depression truly comes in waves, give me time between to learn to ride them to shore.

27

words spark angry flames that burn down into resentful embers

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Feb 11, 2018

Feb 11, 2018 at 1:58 AM UTC

Raging Fire

words spark angry flames that burn down into resentful embers

4

I'm so tired of your sad eyes trailing down my body; a look of disapproval gleaming in your irises more poisonous than any venom-- one little look and I'm dead I'm so sick of your thoughtless words You act as if I have no feelings-- Simply a mindless machine given as a toy I am not a robot I have run out of batteries I'm so fed up with your heavy hands They squeeze my sides but feel like they are gripping my throat You don't know how much weight your actions hold or how I'm suffocating in silence I'm so over your polite smile that has everyone fooled but me Stop hiding behind a mask of innocence Show everyone what happens behind closed doors Let them cast stones until you bleed the truth

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Oct 4, 2017

Oct 4, 2017 at 1:11 AM UTC

Finished

I'm so tired of your sad eyes trailing down my body; a look of disapproval gleaming in your irises more poisonous than any venom-- one little look and I'm dead I'm so sick of your thoughtless words You act as if I have no feelings-- Simply a mindless machine given as a toy I am not a robot I have run out of batteries I'm so fed up with your heavy hands They squeeze my sides but feel like they are gripping my throat You don't know how much weight your actions hold or how I'm suffocating in silence I'm so over your polite smile that has everyone fooled but me Stop hiding behind a mask of innocence Show everyone what happens behind closed doors Let them cast stones until you bleed the truth

20

Dear ex: I can't wash away your sins. I've tried until I'm sore, But my body won't come clean. We planned a future around insecurities, And you cried when I ran away. You can't expect me to want you After you took away The last of my innocence. I can't put cocoa butter Over the scars you've left on my heart.

0

Nov 29, 2015

Nov 29, 2015 at 1:27 AM UTC

A Letter I'll Never Send

Dear ex: I can't wash away your sins. I've tried until I'm sore, But my body won't come clean. We planned a future around insecurities, And you cried when I ran away. You can't expect me to want you After you took away The last of my innocence. I can't put cocoa butter Over the scars you've left on my heart.

11

I know we're young, And that this might be too much to ask, But I can't imagine anything in this world That wouldn't look better With you there by my side. We have years ahead of us, And maybe we should be sowing our oats, But I'd rather be picking flowers To put in the vase in our kitchen. The odds are against us, But you can't play poker alone.

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Jul 8, 2015

Jul 8, 2015 at 1:39 PM UTC

Odds

I know we're young, And that this might be too much to ask, But I can't imagine anything in this world That wouldn't look better With you there by my side. We have years ahead of us, And maybe we should be sowing our oats, But I'd rather be picking flowers To put in the vase in our kitchen. The odds are against us, But you can't play poker alone.

11

It's not that I choke on my words; It's that I have no words to speak. I could talk forever About the silver in your hair, The gold in your eyes; How they prove you're a treasure. I could babble away About your contagious laugh, Your sense of humor That makes me bust a gut or shake my head. I could whisper to a friend About your shivering touch, Your burning tongue; The way you leave my body breathless. I could preach to a crowd About your strength, Your courage; How you move me to do better. But, when it comes to how I feel, There are no words. 'Love' is overused. 'Adoration' is an understatement. 'Infatuated' is pretentious. 'Appreciative' is too subtle. Nevertheless, they all work: I am in love with you, my treasure. I adore your sense of humor. I am infatuated with the way you touch me. I appreciate how you move me. 'Forever' is too short a time with you, But forever is all we have.

0

May 2, 2015

May 2, 2015 at 9:37 PM UTC

Words Are Not Enough

It's not that I choke on my words; It's that I have no words to speak. I could talk forever About the silver in your hair, The gold in your eyes; How they prove you're a treasure. I could babble away About your contagious laugh, Your sense of humor That makes me bust a gut or shake my head. I could whisper to a friend About your shivering touch, Your burning tongue; The way you leave my body breathless. I could preach to a crowd About your strength, Your courage; How you move me to do better. But, when it comes to how I feel, There are no words. 'Love' is overused. 'Adoration' is an understatement. 'Infatuated' is pretentious. 'Appreciative' is too subtle. Nevertheless, they all work: I am in love with you, my treasure. I adore your sense of humor. I am infatuated with the way you touch me. I appreciate how you move me. 'Forever' is too short a time with you, But forever is all we have.

31