mercurychyld
Poet, mother (in love with her special boys), best friend, word enthusiast, film, movie and art junky (surreal, abstract, bizzare and beautiful), undying bookworm, singer, former model, Mad hatter, Cheshire cat, eternal goofball, love of hubby's life, fanatic of all things motorcycle and classic cars, and avid student of life...I'll never stop feeling, thinking, observing or learning. ; )
It is an imposing
and intrusive realization
that sorrow and
righteous fury
take a hold of the
psyche and the soul
in places where most
would not allow
even God or His angels
to tread.
by- Mercurychyld
Copyright 31 Aug. 2016
Wednesday
Aug 31, 2016
Aug 31, 2016 at 11:18 PM UTC
As to all
there be a season,
joy would not
taste as sweet without
the bitter spice
of tears,
loyalty would not have
its bonding powers
without the sting
of betrayal,
and a rose would not
be as fragrant
or as dazzling
without its
very thorns,
for it would then
be something other
than what it was
meant to be.
by Mercurychyld
Copyright 31 Aug. 2016
Wednesday
Aug 31, 2016
Aug 31, 2016 at 11:06 PM UTC
She walks in circles
ever confused in this life
in the grips of fear.
~ by Mercurychyld
(Aka Maria E Labbe)
Copyright 22 Feb 16
Tuesday
Feb 23, 2016
Feb 23, 2016 at 8:11 AM UTC
I feel lonely
when you sleep.
I find myself walking
and pacing,
plagued by thoughts
and worries and
feelings of doom.
Wired yet empty,
as if some part of me
is missing or
ripped away.
Where did it go?
When will it be back?
Displaced, I am
obliged to search within
the trunk of memories
in my mind
and pick out a few
memories of you,
of us,
dust them off
and play them like
snippets of favorite
movies
and for a little while
I can ignore the flood
of tearful melancholia
that creeps and stalks,
just waiting to drown me.
For a little while
I can think of you,
our silly laughs and giggles
and mutual goofiness…
and for that little while
I can smile.
(Ode to my beautiful sons)
-by Mercurychyld
Copyright 23 Nov 15
Monday
Nov 23, 2015
Nov 23, 2015 at 10:58 PM UTC
Sometimes
the words drop
from fingertips,
climbing over each
other like playful
children.
Sometimes
the words flow
quietly, gently,
like soft waters in
a whispering pond.
Sometimes
the words burst out,
roaring like mighty
thunder,
sparking the sky
like brilliant
lightening.
Sometimes
the words spill out,
like scalding lava,
scorching and setting
aflame all in their wake.
Sometimes
the words latch on
with fangs,
suckling the life
force from its
intended victim.
Sometimes
the words infuse
thought and passion
into the bloodstream,
like a ***** *********
injecting
euphoric bliss.
Sometimes
the words sit back,
silently observing
waiting,
patiently,
for the need
to birth the cries
of the heavy heart
releasing an ocean
of emotion…
and drowning
the world.
-by Mercurychyld
Copyright 16 Oct. 2015
Friday
Oct 16, 2015
Oct 16, 2015 at 6:11 AM UTC
My heart never stops
breaking, caving into
itself.
I’m often so surprised
to have any pieces left.
I never wanted to
be like “her”; like my
mother, yet here I sit,
thinking, feeling,
full of guilt.
A guilt that never wanes
or ever could.
I read many books,
many genres.
Some truly make
me face what my heart
knows too well;
this deep sense of guilt.
As I read of characters;
multifaceted, complex men
who step up and love
and raise their sons
and daughters,
I am reminded,
time and again,
that MY sons do not,
or ever will have,
that kind of blessing.
No great male example
to learn from,
to spend time with,
to show them how to
become good Godly men.
Those moments cause me
to question and doubt
myself, as a mother.
I never wanted to be
like “her”; my mother,
with her revolving door
of ****** men
for one reason or another,
yet here I sit,
thinking, feeling,
reminded of how I too
have failed.
The sins of the parents
shall be visited upon
the children…
for that I’m so
very, very sorry
My sons.
The hot tears fall
and the heart disintegrates,
and the anger-sadness grows…
anger mainly at myself.
MY DECISIONS have
brought us all to
where we are today.
Culpability overload.
I wonder, does God
blame me?
Will my sons?
Not that I would ever
blame either if they do.
If I could go back,
if I could begin again,
what would I change?
This is the question
as the familiar pangs
of guilt grow like weeds,
and never subside.
To my sons,
for all of my mistakes
and wrong decisions,
both before and after
your births,
decisions that leave
imprints on your
lives as well…
I am Forever sorry.
-by Mercurychyld
Copyright 12 Oct. 15
Monday
Oct 12, 2015
Oct 12, 2015 at 7:58 AM UTC
The days are getting darker and cloudier now,
like a metaphor for where my spirit is.
I feel the tentacles of depression taking hold,
quietly slithering, one by one, around my throat,
squeezing the smiles and laughter and happy
thoughts away.
Nothing gives me joy, not even the usual pleasures.
The music has taken on a sad and menacing tone,
reminding me that depression is, once again, a most
unwanted yet insistent guest.
Sep 28, 2015
Sep 28, 2015 at 6:33 AM UTC
Who could’ve thought…
certainly not me…
how the fires of love
would burn so intensely,
and consume me
in the miniscule span
of three precious weeks.
Actually though,
it was longer;
it began
eight months earlier;
before the final
three weeks of your
most cherished life.
It was before I
tenderly touched
your fragile skin,
so paper thin,
and looked into those
beautiful amber eyes,
when you’d open them.
My own amber eyes
looking back at me.
You were my mirror
and I had no idea, then,
just what I’d see,
or what YOU could see
as you looked right
into me.
You, my little one,
showed me a part of
myself I never thought
existed
before you.
If I hadn’t held you
for the treasured
time allowed,
if I hadn’t felt you
with my own skin,
seen you with my
own eyes,
reached out with my
own heart,
or enveloped you with
my own mind,
I wouldn’t have believed
how much the fickle
fires of the heart could
grow, expand and
utterly consume me,
in the span of those
three precious weeks.
The moment you exhaled
your last little breath
and died in my arms,
you took a piece of
my very soul
with you.
Keep it safe, my love.
You planted it deep
within you long ago,
allowing it to grow.
I love you always,
of that never, ever doubt…
till we meet again
my treasured
first born.
I missed you then,
I miss you still,
and for forever
always will.
-by Mercurychyld
Copyrights
~~~~~~~
~ In remembrance of my
Giovani, born and died
14 years ago this 5th
of July. Never forgotten.~
❤️
Jun 27, 2015
Jun 27, 2015 at 2:13 PM UTC
Compelled by the wind
set adrift alone at sea
my heart finds no ease
A lost soul cries out
loudest silence ever heard
falling on deaf ears
The semblance of youth
a clock ticking life away
a heart torn apart
-by Mercurychyld
Copyrights
Jun 9, 2015
Jun 9, 2015 at 9:16 PM UTC
Just as summer releases its warm embrace
Ushering in beautiful colors and flavors,
Love blossoms in my heart once again, reborn.
Your memory, my son, consumes and embraces
me in its own warmth.
-by Mercurychyld
Copyrights 26 May 15
Tuesday
~ In memory of my Giovani, my beautiful
boy with wings ~ ❤️ ~
May 27, 2015
May 27, 2015 at 7:55 AM UTC