I inhale absence
I'm slowly dying from all the nothing I inhale
The lack of your hand in mine, it's killing me
I lie in fetal helplessness
Caving in on myself, becoming smaller
Becoming absence
Jun 6, 2022
Jun 6, 2022 at 6:22 PM UTC
She’s walking hand in hand
With a boy, almost a man
He’s walking side by side
With a girl, not yet a bride
She’s smiling ear to ear
Whispers only he can hear
He sings her, word for word,
The sweet songs of every bird
This love lives day to day
On youth’s hopeful holiday
Love withers by and by
But all flowers one day die
They’re walking hand in hand
In the purest love, unplanned
Aug 21, 2019
Aug 21, 2019 at 2:58 AM UTC
I know I’ll get in trouble
For drawing on the wall,
But this crayon-marker masterpiece
Is my greatest work of all.
If I put my thoughts on paper
For some temporary praise,
They’ll be stuck up on the fridge
And then be gone in several days.
But walls are a sturdy canvas
To scrawl my fervent feelings.
As I sketch and stretch and scribble,
One day, I’ll reach the ceilings.
May 24, 2019
May 24, 2019 at 1:02 AM UTC
How many times do I have to say “I’m sorry”
Before you stop looking at me like that?
I ask you if you’re even listening to me
While you pick at something on your placemat.
You couldn’t be bothered to ask about my day,
Never mind that I don’t ask about yours.
I’ll lose my nerve and twist your words in every way
Before I try to settle all our scores.
I hope to break the painful silence by saying,
“We shouldn’t let this dinner go to waste.”
You look away, like you don’t plan on staying,
And it fills my mouth with a lonely taste.
Feb 22, 2019
Feb 22, 2019 at 12:38 AM UTC
Tender lover,
Send my friendly vitriol to the devils in you,
As they often possess your fists and bid me welcome.
Your love, and I am tenderized.
I will savor the kiss between your teeth.
Feb 15, 2019
Feb 15, 2019 at 12:02 AM UTC
I have made myself a box.
You can try and find the key,
But I won’t let you open me.
I am safe behind the locks.
I have made myself a stone.
You will never make me break,
No matter what offense I take.
I am strongest on my own.
I have made myself a knife.
If you want my heart, take heed,
Push too hard and you will bleed.
I am fighting for my life.
Jan 26, 2019
Jan 26, 2019 at 12:58 AM UTC
The snow is falling gently,
Covering the streets
In a massive white blanket,
Like soft bed sheets
I’d like to lay out in that snow,
Blissful nothingness,
Waiting in feathery flakes
For winter’s cold kiss.
It’s a swirling storm of stars,
Melting on my tongue.
If I sleep, they will preserve me
Forever young.
I’m making snow angels in my driveway,
And they won’t even last till Friday.
When night has come,
I will be numb,
Too deep to feel the light waves.
Jan 13, 2019
Jan 13, 2019 at 12:02 PM UTC
I buy Advil for the pain.
A disembodied ache,
Persistent and unyielding.
Something’s clawing at the inside of my mind
Or something’s trying to break in.
I buy a toy car.
I buy Pepto-Bismol for the anxiety.
A squirming in the pit of my stomach,
Sweating and pounding.
With this vibrant hue of pink
I crave the washing away of panic.
I buy a sparkly pen.
I buy Melatonin for the insomnia.
A stubborn wakefulness,
Leaving me alone with the dark.
I have a simple desire to end consciousness
With a bitter swallow.
I buy a teddy bear.
I buy caffeine pills for the exhaustion.
For the long hours of the day
When I’m too tired to breathe.
I choke on concentrated motivation
To provide some lost enthusiasm.
I buy a pack of gum.
I stand at the counter to fill my self-prescribed medication
But, of course, I spent my paycheck on all of this last week
So I go home without anything at all
Just like last week
Sep 25, 2018
Sep 25, 2018 at 9:21 PM UTC
An ocean rolls before me
Yet I wish not to swim.
A sky hangs above; infinity
I cannot raise a limb.
What have I then?
A sandy glen,
And the shadow of a whim.
Sep 20, 2018
Sep 20, 2018 at 8:50 PM UTC
I can’t help but think it sad
That I can’t remember why you left
Only that you were leaving me
But maybe that’s not true
Because I know reality is tiring
I just want to fall back asleep
Last night I dreamt of you
And it wasn’t you, so I was happy
Because I can’t look at you without my eyes closed
Otherwise I would see a harsh truth
Honestly I should be sick of missing you
But it’s my favorite pastime
Sep 18, 2018
Sep 18, 2018 at 10:57 PM UTC