After a while you begin to realize
That life is what you make it
That he really didn't mean it when he said he would love you forever
And that it'll be a long journey back to finding who you used to be
After you decide to give in and let go
Finally say **** it" and not care about the rest of them
Because you realize that no one else matters
Except for you and what you think of yourself
After a while you begin to realize
That if you would have just said no
Sent him home and not allowed the advances to happen
You might be a little less damaged
A little more capable of taking care of yourself
But everything changed after that night
Even though that night wasn't the beginning of it
After a while you begin to realize
That your past does affect you
Whether you want it to or not
That the night he took advantage
Left you more messed up than you could want
You don't know why he did it—
After all he's blood—
And relation should have drawn the line
Way before he decided to stop
After a while you begin to realize
That you're stronger than you think
You've been to hell and back
But it's made you the person you are today
And you wouldn't take it back for the world
It might sound strange, wanting the bad with the good
But the mixed bag makes life interesting
And makes you ready for anything
After a while you begin to realize
That you're ready to take on the world
It might be scary
And it might come with some bad
But you know you can conquer it
May 15, 2015
May 15, 2015 at 6:35 PM UTC
Hey
I know it's been a while
Since we've last both spoken.
I'm doing fine
Except
I miss you sometimes
When I least expect it
I'm not really sure why
It's not like we were anything special
Maybe it's the look in your eye
In that one moment of vulnerability
When you tore off all the layers
Of protection
That you pull so tightly
Around you
Perfectly hiding you
Making you invincible from the world
Did that scare you?
That I saw that side?
Is that why you didn't call
Didn't leave even a note or an inkling
That you had the slightest interest
Or was your interest only for those few
Moments together
Like magic
Engulfing me completely
Intoxicating my senses
Filling me to the brim
With you and the possibility of more
More that will never come
Because you won't let it
I want you to know that I go
From spurts of anger to pain
When I think of you
And what we could have had
Sometimes I still hold hope
Before remembering
Stupid girl, it'll never work
You make me the highest of highs and the lowest of lows
And you don't even know it
Funny
Because I don't want you to
You don't deserve that
And at this rate you never will
Well this is getting long winded
And it's something you'll never see
Because really why would you?
You never even think of me!
So I guess it's time
To finish what I have to say
There's really nothing else
Other than
Goodbye
Jan 13, 2014
Jan 13, 2014 at 12:16 PM UTC
I hope when you look back
On the life that you lead
That you have regrets
That you're proud that we were brought up well
With good manners and a good temperament
But that you hate the fact
That every time you were mad
For absolutely no reason at all
That every time you went off the wall
And lost it all
You were losing another part of us
I hope you're proud
That you gave us the best--
Education, toys, and material things
But recognize
That all we really wanted
Was love, time, and those things
That you can't give back to us now
You lost us
It happened a very long time ago
You didn't even realize it
Will you now?
Now that you won't be a part of my kids' lives
Or mine after this
Now that I'll get as far away as possible
Just like I couldn't
It'll be a lonely one for you;
I hope you realize it
My only question is:
Looking back on your life
Was it all really worth it?
Aug 11, 2013
Aug 11, 2013 at 2:24 PM UTC
Silence and ***** looks
That's all we seem to be now
It used to not be like this
But it got like this somehow
We went form being best friends
To you barely looking my way
What did I do to deserve this?
Was it something I did or said?
Is there any way to resolve this?
So I don't lose my best friend…
Could we put aside our differences
So this friendship doesn't end?
Because you see this is really hurting me
I can't stand to be treated this way
It happened in the past
Where a "friend" stopped giving me the time of day
I wish that you would talk to me
So we could work whatever this is out
But instead you're just ignoring me
And constantly shutting me out
Hopefully we'll resolve this
And maybe be friends again
And maybe one day I'll be able to
Once again say that you're my best friend.
May 15, 2013
May 15, 2013 at 5:39 PM UTC
I’m ready to break open like a glass shattered into a million pieces
I don’t know how much more I can take before the pressure will make me crack
I feel their eyes on me, watching my every move
I know that they want me to make a mistake, they need it, they thrive on it
But I can’t do that, I have to keep pushing forward
I can’t let the pressure get to me, not yet
I can’t let them see what they are doing; if I do then they will win
I can’t let them win, THEY WILL NEVER WIN
Apr 22, 2013
Apr 22, 2013 at 11:31 AM UTC
Head
I cant get you out of mine
Even as hard as I try
I think about you night and day
Waiting for your next reply
I wonder what you're doing
and if you think about me too
If you would ever want this to happen
Or if you've even got a clue
Over
They tell me to get over you
That you're no good for me
That really I'm just fooling myself
That this will only lead to misery
But it's not that easy
When I've fallen this deep
You've caught me in your spell
And I'm hoping it's me you'll want to keep
Heels
This is how the saying ends
I've fallen "head over heels"
I never knew it could be this dangerous
I never knew that this was how it feels
Maybe there will be a day
When you can feel the same
But I'd like you to know this is all your fault
And there is only you to blame.
Feb 2, 2013
Feb 2, 2013 at 2:46 AM UTC
I never thought you’d make me cry
Until the night you asked
You asked me if there was anyone who could possibly see you
See you the way I’ve seen you for so long
My heart is aching
I want to shout
I feel defeated
Defeated because you can’t see!
See what I thought was so apparent
So I'll sit here and cry myself to sleep tonight
And admit the defeat that I never thought I would
Jan 27, 2013
Jan 27, 2013 at 1:11 AM UTC
The pieces of the puzzle are scattered on the floor
You don’t know if you can do it anymore
You start to look around to see what you can do
But you truly don’t know if you can even get through
You see the hot mess that you were left to be
So you go to seek out help hoping you’ll be free
Free from all the pain you’ve felt and the misery
Hoping you can let it all go and just—be
The people really help you come to terms of all that has happened
And you start to see clarity that you never expected
It becomes easier and easier to simply be yourself
Until you finally take your old self off the shelf
You look down and see the puzzle pieces on the floor
And you can’t stand to see them there anymore
So you start to pick them up and put them back together
And the pieces of your life look better and better
You realize some of the pieces aren’t good for you anymore
So you throw them away so they won’t hurt you as before
Pretty soon the puzzle is put back together
And though it looks a little different, your life is better than ever
Jan 23, 2013
Jan 23, 2013 at 1:37 PM UTC
I find my mind drifting back to you
Wondering what you're doing right now
Wondering if you're thinking of me
It happens from time to time
Especially when something happens
Good, bad, mediocre--I find myself wanting to tell you about it
What's happening to me?
Am I turning into this lovesick fool?
When did this minor crush turn into something this strong?
I'm not sure if I like it--
The vulnerability like a shy kid on his first day of high school
You literally have a part of me that no one else can take
I don’t know when it happened, when you claimed that part of me
But you did
And now here I am
Thinking about you
And wanting to tell you everything about me
Dec 24, 2012
Dec 24, 2012 at 2:48 AM UTC
I came across that old picture today and it brought tears to my eyes
It reminded me of what we used to have
We used to be a tight knit group; completely inseparable
Now I've been replaced and you don't even think of me
There's an old saying that says:
"Keep the picture. They never change. The people in them do."
How much we've all changed
I used to think you'd all be in my wedding
Now I know that that won't happen
We drifted apart, we all took different paths
Or rather, I took a different path while you all stayed on the same one together
You left me here
Now I just have the pictures
And the memories
Dec 24, 2012
Dec 24, 2012 at 2:43 AM UTC