Somewhere beyond --
that first complete, naked, honest truth
we shared in the moonlight
and the eventual half-truths full of
holes of omission
in the years that followed --
is the place we are in now.
You could be suffering
Clinging to life
Wasting away ever so slowly
and I would never know;
because the truth hurts, or so you say
when you say nothing at all.
We sit in silence.
You have become so absorbed
So obsessed
with protecting me,
my innocence, my love
that the version of you
you want me to see is too perfect;
he's not the man I fell in love with.
Where are your flaws,
your insecurities, your doubts,
your struggles with yourself
and the world? I miss seeing them
in the moonlight as we drive
purposefully nowhere.
You can trust my love with your life.
Marriage is more than a title,
more than late night talk shows on TV
with Chinese takeout on the couch.
It is a lifelong commitment,
a promise to be each other's
first line of defense against the world
and a place to call home.
Marriage is reliving those very first
complete, naked, honest truths
and marveling at the fact that
we are still here.
It is a continuation of that
raw, selfless vulnerability
and a promise never to run.
Marriage is a covenant of love
a love that keeps no record of wrongs
no matter how few or frequent.
A love that trusts, hopes, and endures
because this Earth
was never where we were meant to be.
I love you.
Apr 29, 2017
Apr 29, 2017 at 12:14 AM UTC
I know you love me
I can see it in the way you smile
When I tell you I'm happy and content
I can feel it in the way you hold me
Nuzzling the neck of your little spoon
I can hear it in your carefree laugh
When I tell a joke no one else finds funny
I can smell it on your breath
When I kiss you and inhale pheromones
I can taste it on your tongue
Melting your sweet words over my heart
So why won't you come home?
The words "I need you"
Have completely lost their meaning
And nothing I do tonight
Could ever change your mind
I'm writhing in the pain of your absence
But you think my pain is unbecoming
I know you think there's always tomorrow
But baby what about tonight?
The words "come home"
Fall on deaf ears
May 10, 2015
May 10, 2015 at 1:45 AM UTC
I love you
And I want to hurt you
and make you sit on your bed with your head in your hands,
pushing on your eyeballs
trying to hold the tears in.
I want to make you anxious
and make you check your phone every ten minutes
And I want you to feel a sinking
in your heart and stomach
each time you do.
I want to frustrate you
to the point where you can't sit down
and instead must pace back and forth or drive in circles
Because **** it there must be
some way out of this.
I want to build you up
and tear you down by your innocent and fragile heartstrings,
dragging you carelessly behind me
but holding on so tightly
Because I love you.
Mar 17, 2015
Mar 17, 2015 at 10:26 AM UTC
You can do no wrong.
You could walk on water
if you tried.
Sometimes I forget
how perfect you are,
but I needn't worry
because if I point out
one single flaw,
you will be sure
to put me in my place
and tell me
just how wrong I am.
Jan 5, 2015
Jan 5, 2015 at 10:59 PM UTC
I have lost all inspiration
to write about those silly little feelings
that dance across my lips
when you kiss me,
because, baby,
I just don't feel them anymore.
I have lost all motivation
to clean up after myself
and to impress you with my beauty,
because, baby,
I know you'll love me either way.
But I have not lost all hope
that someday, somehow,
we'll find
everything we've lost.
Jul 5, 2014
Jul 5, 2014 at 5:04 PM UTC
You need not say a word
To draw a tear
My heart does that for me
You need not strike me
To make me bleed
My heart does that for me
You need not abuse me
To inflict pain
My heart does that for me
Jul 5, 2014
Jul 5, 2014 at 4:47 PM UTC
Raspberry
Sparkling wine.
The bubbles tickle my throat
and I giggle.
I'm not much for wine
but this stuff
is different
Unlike you...
I wish you were different.
I wish you would keep caring
unlike all the others
that just
stopped.
But I guess I have to give you
some credit.
You kept caring
far longer than most.
You held my hair back when I puked.
You drove 500 miles to see me
on more than one occasion.
You brought me flowers
on important days
and ordinary days.
You kissed me when I cried.
Mar 31, 2014
Mar 31, 2014 at 12:26 AM UTC
Stabbing small ordeal
Betrayed chills clinging
Dependent
Remember
Threatens, turns, tongue
Destruction piece
Bliss loving,
Crave,
Fading features
await despite circles
ungracefully snap--
Caressing loneliness
Read, dare, try
apology--
stained.
Starry rush
composure probably
nagging,
closed slightly,
fighting.
Feb 24, 2014
Feb 24, 2014 at 11:09 PM UTC
I'm imagining
the pavement blurring beneath
your brick heavy eyelids,
middle of the road
becoming more of a guess
than a goal,
grasping at thoughts
to keep the monotony from
monopolizing what memory
you have left.
That sound, that awful sound
that sometimes picks up
the second you've silenced it
in your mind,
is back again and driving
you insane,
the bane of the trip
on which you've been
for far too long
already.
So let me tell you how to quell
the endless feelings
you can't escape
before they suffocate
the essence of
your heart -
I have auburn hair
that glistens in the sunlight
and hazel eyes
you won't be able
to fight once you're
a few too many
drinks in
Feb 24, 2014
Feb 24, 2014 at 10:46 PM UTC
I wish I could fall in love again.
When I'm falling,
the way my heart beats
amazes me.
It sends blood pulsing through my veins
and adrenaline coursing through every nerve.
It makes me feel lighter than air
but worth my weight in gold.
I want to feel
like that again.
And at this point, I don't mind
where that feeling comes from.
I don't care
if I find it in the same place
I've been prying it from
for the past twenty eight months,
or if I find it
somewhere new.
Feb 2, 2014
Feb 2, 2014 at 10:39 PM UTC