I know I don't want to in my life
Because when I think of you,
I think of pain.
May 9, 2020
May 9, 2020 at 11:50 PM UTC
Among all the truths, he told me the one that would have wolves run
He told me of his curse
He told me of his failure
He told me why it failed
Taking a drag of his cigarette
I got bored. he told me
He said he was bored and didn't want to do anything about it.
For a second, my heart beat faster than the normal 72
He sounded heartless, he looked stone-like
I had never seen this side of him
I braced myself for the inevitable
Don't worry, he said
I hope that never happens to us
But that wasn't enough for me.
May 9, 2020
May 9, 2020 at 11:48 PM UTC
I tried to scare him away with the cruelty that breathes in the world
The cruelty that had groped me
He didn't run as I had hoped
I felt a sudden disappointment and then a strange kind of happiness seeped into my skin
The kind I did not understand
Seven months later I sit with myself and smile at that memory
He didn't need something like that to drive him away
Time could do that just fine.
May 9, 2020
May 9, 2020 at 11:42 PM UTC
The thing about love is, that if we do not know how to love,
Then we end up hurting the other person
So it is fair to dive in? Knowing that your diving in could possibly hurt the other person more than it would hurt you?
May 9, 2020
May 9, 2020 at 11:37 PM UTC
Comfort is for those who slumber,
I dream in thousands and the waves hit in millions
I dream of all my memories
May 9, 2020
May 9, 2020 at 11:33 PM UTC
I've said all the things I've wanted to tell you to myself,
I've visited the nooks crannies of my hurt by myself,
I've also watched the finale of our favorite show by myself,
Have I tied enough of my loose ends?
If you were here, would you be happy for me?
I've told things about myself I never thought I'd tell,
I've thought things about you, I never thought I'd think
I've forgotten what your favorite dish was; Pasta? Pad Thai?
I seem to have no clue
If you were here, would you be happy for me?
I've been sleeping lately, at night
I don't stay up
It doesn't feel like I can't breathe,
It doesn't feel like I can't swallow,
It doesn't feel like tomorrow is worthless.
If you were here, would you be happy for me?
These days, when I think of you,
It still hurts a little
I still wonder what you're up to
But it doesn't **** me not to know.
If you were still here, would you be happy for me?
May 9, 2020
May 9, 2020 at 11:14 PM UTC