My subconscious, soaked
in melancholy, has
seeped through the cracks
and crevasses which once
did not exist.
And in this ocean of
sorrow, I find myself
drowning
Oct 2, 2014
Oct 2, 2014 at 8:28 PM UTC
But high school doesn't teach you
how to stop loving someone;
so I know that
the universe is ever expanding,
and I know that you
can't **** viruses with pills
But I'm still trying to figure out
how to make my throat burn
less every time I see your
******* face
Sep 30, 2014
Sep 30, 2014 at 6:47 AM UTC
Learning to breathe again is
Harder than the doctors
Said it would be
Gasping for air
And I find myself
Choking on your
Name
Jul 11, 2014
Jul 11, 2014 at 3:12 AM UTC
Love can be one sided but I still
Wonder if that is love at all
And then I think
That one sided love
Is probably the strongest
Love of them all
To love someone
Unconditionally, unwaveringly
Without receiving love back
That's true love
And true love
Never fails to
Break my heart
Jul 11, 2014
Jul 11, 2014 at 3:01 AM UTC
Being with you was like
being in a car
with the gas pedal slammed
down to the floor and
nothing to do but hold
on and pretend to have
some semblance of control.
But control was
something I'd lost a
long time
ago
Jul 6, 2014
Jul 6, 2014 at 9:51 PM UTC
You were
The only one
That tried to heal
Me
But I should have
Realized
That too much
Medicine
Can stop your
Heart from
Beating
Jul 6, 2014
Jul 6, 2014 at 9:49 PM UTC
But can biology explain
the physical pain
in my chest
that I feel only
when someone
whispers your
name
Jul 5, 2014
Jul 5, 2014 at 11:09 PM UTC
I can pick at my skin for hours
Focus on every conceivable flaw
Shake until my body curls up on the shower floor
Most have never seen me at my worst, when
I’m stuck in an apathetic neutral state
Washed out between the highs of my need for thrill
And the lows of panic screaming in my veins
I have the the soul of an extrovert beaten to submission
Shot down and repeating the mantra “worthless”
What do you believe, if not yourself
How could I?
How many more steps do I take before I’m back,
Before the mirror doesn't make me want to shatter
What is my mantra now?
Jul 5, 2014
Jul 5, 2014 at 10:52 PM UTC
But some things are just too broken to be fixed,
No matter how hard you try
Because pain doesn’t care if you’d give anything
To stop someone from hurting inside
It will take everything you have
Even if what you have
Is nothing at all
And I stopped believing that love conquers all
When I tried to show her how perfect she is
But she still didn’t want to hear the words
‘You are beautiful’
Because she fell in love with a sadness that did not belong to her
She fell in love with the pain that she saw in movies
Or read about in books
She fell in love because she wanted to know what it felt like
To have a reason to want to **** yourself
She fell in love with that pain and she kept it as her own
So on the nights she wakes up screaming because she is scared
Not of the monsters in the closet, but the ones in her head
On those nights, there is nothing I can do but
Sit there and watch her trembling, trying to regain her breath
I can only sit there and watch her cry,
Watch her fall apart one more time
When we met, she told me not to fall in love with her
Because she breaks everything she touches
But the truth is,
The only thing she’s been breaking is her own heart and soul
And she won’t stop until there is nothing left but
Broken whispers of the girl she used to be
Jul 5, 2014
Jul 5, 2014 at 10:41 PM UTC
Three years later
And I still find myself
Dreaming of your eyes
And craving your touch
But I know better
Than to pick up
The phone and
Call
Because your smile
No matter how kind
Will hurt me
A lot more
Than a bag of drugs
Ever could
May 3, 2014
May 3, 2014 at 4:09 PM UTC