If you want to be a true influencer
you should put in some actual work
****** the Archduke of Austria and his wife
The Duchess of Hohenberg
Gavrilo Princip did not have many followers
He did not have any discount codes for his online store
He had a simple dream to break off Austria-Hungary's South Slav provinces so they could be combined into a Yugoslavia, and instead he started a world war
If you want to influence society
for centuries to come
Stop being a coward posting vacation pics online
Go out and get yourself a gun
Jan 7, 2021
Jan 7, 2021 at 7:02 PM UTC
Dead guys golf clubs
Dead guys guitar
Dead guys Rolex
Dead guys bar
Dead guys children
Dead guys wife
Dead guys cigar cutter
Dead guys knife
Dead guys things he left behind
Dead guys body now a rind
So long for now
See you on the trail
Let’s celebrate his life
With a garage sale
Jan 7, 2021
Jan 7, 2021 at 1:04 PM UTC
While you’re sleeping
The spiders bathe in your nightstand water
As the mosquitos play you Copeland’s “Fanfare For The Common Man”
The worms use you as a blanket
The bees outside your window spread rumors about the Praying Mantis
The roaches climb the bedpost to get a better view
and the ants want to be left alone cause they’re too busy working on their own things
while the Praying Mantis makes a move on the Brown Widow
It’s actually not a widow it’s a Brown Recluse according my roommate, Charlie
He tells me their bites are harmless
But I don’t believe him
So I take a picture and ask someone on reddit spiders
and they tell me it looks like a Brown Widow but the photo quality isn’t too clear
I mean I got up as close as I could to take the picture
And we should really call an exterminator
Because the Ladybugs now won’t shut up about the Mantis
And the Moths are making a mess in the kitchen
And it’s really Gal the landlords job to handle it
But he’s too busy being a heart surgeon on the side so I guess I’ll have to do it
I’ll call today. I’ll call now.
Jan 29, 2020
Jan 29, 2020 at 5:09 PM UTC
Old but hard
my buddy Charlie and me
The girls are on their way
I keep telling he
It’s been two hours
Since we popped these caps
He brought the *****
I brought the wraps
We’re gonna coke em up good
That’s what they like
Our hearts can’t take it
But we will coke em up right
It’s been four hours now
And I must say
It’s better to be old and hard
Than old and in the way
Jan 28, 2020
Jan 28, 2020 at 5:30 PM UTC
The sign read
“Eight barbers no waiting”
But there’s a line out the door
I come for the no waiting
That’s what I pay for
The cut is mediocre
But the time is well spent
And now that I am waiting
I refuse to pay a cent!
Jan 15, 2020
Jan 15, 2020 at 3:41 AM UTC
I was recently complimented
by a bowl of Whole Foods clam chowder
so I thanked it.
You’re not so bad yourself, Whole Foods clam chowder!
Truly, I enjoy you very much.
Jan 14, 2020
Jan 14, 2020 at 2:50 PM UTC
Hello Poetry
What time is best to post?
Some of my poems
I feel like they’re a ghost
22 views
When hundreds could see
This isn’t call me maybe
This is hello poetry
Answer the door
It’s 12:34
AM pacific standard
Later! I’m gonna try to write some more!
Jan 14, 2020
Jan 14, 2020 at 3:34 AM UTC
Twinkle twinkle little star
How I wonder what you are
A ball of gas or so we think
A solar system gone extinct
Twinkle twinkle little star
I'll go drink then drive my car
Feb 28, 2017
Feb 28, 2017 at 2:14 PM UTC
8th avenue ***
**** out on ground crankin one
Thanks de Blasio
Feb 9, 2017
Feb 9, 2017 at 2:52 PM UTC
She was a hard eight!
Okay maybe a seven.
Six point five lowest!
Jan 24, 2017
Jan 24, 2017 at 3:26 PM UTC