We sat and I looked at the roses
Thinking avout how beautiful this moment is
How picture perfect
A young couple in the moon light
Sitting among the trees
I could spend forever with you
You asked me why I giggled so much
What you didnt know was how ecstatic
I was to be with you
This happiness was too sureal
This was a moment I only saw in my dreams
Your lips were mine to kiss
Your hands mine to hold
This forever would be perfect
Then you had this idea
To climb the billboard
And sit up with the trees............
Sep 13, 2017
Sep 13, 2017 at 12:45 AM UTC
I dive into the deep end
Water fills my lungs
As I struggle for air
A voice calls out my name
Familiar I let myself fall
Dying dreams of me in your arms
When I come back to reality
He is the only thing on my mind.
Feb 18, 2016
Feb 18, 2016 at 6:57 PM UTC
My heart hurts
My words aren't coming out quite right anymore
I can see the sun
But I'd rather lay in bed.
Liquor Cigarettes **** and Lost Love
That's what I'm now made out of.
My heart is broken
Shattered to pieces
Laying on the floor of someone else bed room
My mind is in a constant state of
Fighting Battling Conflict Confusion
And yet
Even though lost love is my new name
My mind is on newer brighter places.
Like him.
His hair.
His smile.
The smell of cigarette still on his skin.
The way life feels when he's close
Mindlessly touching my arm
His hand brushing my back
Drifting into a peaceful state.
He is both the storm and the calm.
When hes away
I'm in the middle
Stuck in a hurricane
Threatening to blow me away
But when he's near
My god is the world beautiful
Laughter fills the night.
Smiles light up the room.
I desire
With such a burning passion
To hear the soft comforting sound
Of his heart beating as I lay on his chest.
As tears fall on my keyboard
He's what is on my mind.
I feel wretched
I feel *****
Yet
I feel so empowered
So incredibly OK
Break ups hurt
They tear a person inside out
Destroy what makes up their heart.
Their feelings
Their emotions
Everything
But yet.
I'm moving on
Pushing forward
Moving ahead on a path
I only hope and wish leads to his arms.
My mind is at battle
A relentless conflict
Between the hurt and the happy
I just want to be better
For his sake.
Feb 18, 2016
Feb 18, 2016 at 6:40 PM UTC
My emotions overwhelm me
My mind is racing again
With thoughts of the way your eyes light up when you smile at me
And with thoughts on how it all can fall apart.
My past has ruined me
But you have the power to repair whats broken.
Im scared my past will become my present
And you'll disappear just as the others have.
I'm trying to have faith
That maybe you're my prince charming
My knight in shinning armor
The one to pull me out of my pit.
How can one care so much for something so broken?
You're my secondhand seranade.
My heart is racing again
As it always is when you're on my mind.
I hope with all me heart you're my beginning
Of the end of all my dark days.
I wish to spill my guts to you
For you to see my nasty insides.
But I'm waiting.
Waiting for my trust to be cconfirmed.
Until then I'll take pen to paper
And write to an imaginary you.
Love songs and sappy quotes
Is what your name means to me.
Synonymous to hope and happiness.
Even now I'm afraid that I won't be able to let go.
They say third times the charm.
But luck hasn't been my best friend.
Yet here I am letting it all go
Lett.
Update: while I was writing this the person it was about ironically left me. Kinda funny how the world works. So I'll leave it be. Let it grow a deeper meaning. Symbolize the irony in everyday.
Apr 21, 2015
Apr 21, 2015 at 2:23 AM UTC
Go ahead and laugh at my jokes.
Go ahead and think I'm just a funny person.
But behind that witty humor.
There's years of heart ache.
Nov 5, 2014
Nov 5, 2014 at 3:28 AM UTC
Is it that bad to desire love?
To desire to be desired.
For one person out of the 7 billion on earth.
Just one to NEED you.
Isn't it bad to desire love?
When a girl who gives the world her all.
She feels lost and afraid.
That lost little girl just needs love.
Why is it so bad to fear?
This little girl...
She stands too tall and resolute.
Until darkness falls.
Why is fear a weakness?
This girl is afraid to admit, she's scared of the dark.
But it isn't the monsters outside.
It's the monsters in her head.
Why does everyone have to keep strong?
This little girl...
She only wants a home.
She only wants love.
Isn't it sad when one feels alone?
This little girl has plenty of friends...
But still feels so empty.
Friendship isn't love, caring isn't love.
Why is it so hard to love a broken girl?
This little girl would do anything to feel loved once again.
She would walk to the ends of the earth.
Just to feel that warm embrace of a lover's arms.
To be the object of one's affection.
The little girl's one dying wish.
This little girl has walked through battlefields.
Just looking for a loving embrace.
She's experienced tastes.
And now she's hooked.
Her drug is love.
And now she's going through withdraws
She just want's to be high on love again...
Is that too much for me to ask for?
Nov 5, 2014
Nov 5, 2014 at 2:55 AM UTC
Have you ever felt so utterly empty
That you can't even do what you do best
Words don't flow onto the page as they should
Have you ever felt so utterly hopeless
That you can't even get out of bed
Your lungs don't even seem to want to work
Have you ever felt so utterly worthless
That you can't even take a strangers compliment
Let alone even think of loving yourself
Have you ever felt so utterly alone
Even though you're in a room full of people
You just seem invisible to all that is there
Have you ever felt so utterly disgusting
That you cringe at the sight of your own picture
And can't seem to look at yourself in the mirror
This is how I've felt..... For the past 4 years
Jul 7, 2014
Jul 7, 2014 at 6:33 AM UTC
How do I reply
When asked the question
Of what is true beauty?
I can't seem to answer
It's not because I don't know
Nor that I'm unsure.
How can you put words to real beauty?
Real beauty is a feeling.
An emotion that dwells in the heart.
Like the music notes to musicians.
Like paint to an artist.
Or words to a poet.
As well as that smile of a partner.
The laugh of a small child.
Or the joyous tears of a precious moment.
True beauty is based on one's desires.
Like my desire to make my world,
Built out of words and poems.
Coloring the world
With the black and white hues
Of letters typed out on a screen.
So when asked what is true beauty,
There's only one true answer...
Just look into your heart.
May 14, 2014
May 14, 2014 at 1:53 AM UTC
Here's to THOSE nights
When you lay awake
When it's 4 am
And all you can do is let your mind wander
Here's to THOSE nights
When you lay completely still. Thinking.
When you can't help but think of the worst
And you can feel the pain in your chest
Here's to THOSE nights
When you can't help but cry
When the pain becomes too much
And your pillow is soaked in your tears
Here's to THOSE nights
When I'm missing those times
When you held me so tight
And told me it'd be ok
Here's to THOSE nights
When your thoughts are racing
When you toss and turn in bed
And you can't help but feel tired of breathing
Here's to THOSE nights
When you think things couldn't get worse
When you think happy is impossible
And life is no longer worth the fight
Here's to THOSE nights....
When you hit rock bottom
May 11, 2014
May 11, 2014 at 1:43 AM UTC
I sit here at night
Left only with the thought of you
The pain in my chest
It seems to spread
I sit here at night
Wanting to grab that bottle of pills
Yet knowing I can't let you down
Even though temptation is like a knife
I sit here at night
Wishing I could lock myself away
And sit with the company of my razor
But knowing I can't throw my streak away
I sit here at night
Longing for a big bottle of *****
Just to wash away the tears
But I know I can't be a mess
Still all I want to do is...
Just Drink Life Away
May 11, 2014
May 11, 2014 at 1:33 AM UTC