Your sugar dust dances,
Falling in wisps and whirls onto the carcass of summer;
And that silent breath, like the ghost of a kiss,
Shadows under ill-lit street lamps.
Where toes dig deep into woolen blanket
And the body's fire is the only reprieve from your reaching icicles
I shall slip a smile to these rose petal lips and welcome your cold embrace
Dec 1, 2024
Dec 1, 2024 at 5:59 PM UTC
Do your heart strings break when you think of me, too?
No.
I carried the love for me and for you.
With rose-coloured glasses, my tears washed your face.
While you whispered the sweet nothings
Of being your biggest mistake.
So, break if I must, to shed your skin.
One must end for another to begin.
Jul 31, 2024
Jul 31, 2024 at 5:33 PM UTC
Overwhelmed and underwhelimg
In the things most important
Drowning in the air I can no longer feel
Buzzing and swirling around me in melodies and soft caresses
That would spring my steps and twists my fingers into beautiful worlds of colour and chaos
Now I have been anchored in this underwhelming realm of ****
I can no longer see past the flesh around me
Feel the spirit of the trees
Nor hear the Goddess sing in the falling snow
No.
My life has become controlled by this...this small sponge of chemicals that absorbs all my colours and leave me dulled and gray
I'm calm; so calm I'm empty
There is music no more
And my magick is astray!
Is this normal?
Who would ever want to be normal??
I say, as I swallow the pills and start another day
Jun 13, 2024
Jun 13, 2024 at 2:50 AM UTC
Was it when you beheld all 7 pounds and 8 ounces of me that you decided you didn't want me?
(All I ever wanted was to be wanted by you.)
Or when your boyfriends favored my flesh over yours?
(To be protected by you.)
Was it when my health bottomed, and I became too much of a burden that you realized you didn't care for me?
(To be nurtured by you.)
I know I felt it at 16 with split wrists and no future in sight when you screamed I was your biggest mistake.
(It's alright, I am my own.)
The heartstrings snapped one by one at 18 as you threw me away like Tuesday's trash, inconvenient to your days' plans.
(All I ever asked was to be guided by you.)
I felt your hatred suffocating me as I covered your claw marks on my wedding day.
(All I needed was to be a daughter.)
The walls crumbled the day I gave you silence and you gave me back Flame.
So, to answer the question:
Yes, you cared. But only about the things you could hate me for.
I guess I'll always be the favourite mistake.
(When all I ever wanted was my mother's love)
Jun 13, 2024
Jun 13, 2024 at 2:46 AM UTC
Small pebbles crash through ashen skies,
So intricate and divine.
They pitter patter the pane.
Window pane;
Inner pain.
Cracked and spidering;
The sensation remains the same.
Snapping crisp twigs like heartstrings.
Plucking the chords on this beating violin,
A somber sound barrels around cathedral ceilings,
Dripping melodies in pools at the edges of cold lips.
Victorian grace with hippie peace.
What a hollow sound without the clash of chaos you bring.
Oil and water, emulsified.
Fire and ice, married.
Beautiful chaos, skyward bound.
Earth to ash, burried.
Dec 28, 2022
Dec 28, 2022 at 9:10 AM UTC
I am but a leech, desecrating in lilly glossed waters;
Clotting beautiful beads, like bracelets, across wet flesh.
Desire is a horseman in this world, coming to close the curtains on the day.
Why stop? For lashes from the scepter that was to guide us?
Fractured and rotten; yet we still cling for a taste of a crumb of the life once held within it's dead trunk.
Death. But an old friend and a forgotten enemy greedily tickling this slicken frame.
Fingers float tempting whispers to my every nerve and I long for my senses to set ablaze in those writhing clutches
Screaming from inside for release that teases and tingles like the ****** that never comes. Shaken and slightly shrunken
Light blazes at the doors, searing and scorching the very flesh that holds a withered frame
No longer seeking escape,
I slither back to the darkness I seem to have forgotten was home once before
Jul 9, 2022
Jul 9, 2022 at 7:07 AM UTC
Exhaustion. Like a frieght train that rattles me to my core, as blistering as the tunnel it travels.
This wind whistles and chills my bones.
Who am I?
Elated and deflated. I shake and scorch the land with each footfall of a once great sun.
This fire now blazes and burns my veins.
Who am I?
A never ending search on the journey to who I wish to be.
Leaving petals in my wake. Most beautiful petals; with the most poisionous tears.
Who am I?
Peace and Tranquility. I seek it in and out as a drug to calm the raging storms behind my lost eyes.
Who am I?
Droplets and storms. Caressing my face and tending to the raging flames.
Their waves wash away the leaking poisons and catch the raging winds where gentle rivers float my spirit away.
Until one day I land upon
Who I am.
Mar 31, 2022
Mar 31, 2022 at 1:07 PM UTC
Finally, I have found Where the Sidewalk Ends!
Well, less "Where" more "What" and "When".
The sidewalk is our timeline and each fixed point is an end!
Around our aura parts the currents of space and chaotic life.
Where we've both been trapt in its waters and we gained our years of fight.
Battling towards each individual branch, we see emanates of sounds and lights!
With laughs, cries, and hues galore we parade our guiding lanterns high!
For in the distance is curdled screams of wedding bells and flashing purple skies.
All this time bobbing in the waters, but it taken so long see
At each Sidewalks End, the darkness recedes and reveals pieces of you and me.
Where a lantern collects a moment in time, each dew drop holds our melody
Each star holds pieces of a fragile heart, and every End is only The Beginning.
Aug 17, 2021
Aug 17, 2021 at 11:10 AM UTC
Drowning in the air I can no longer sense buzzing and swirling around me in melodies and soft caresses.
That would spring my steps and twists my fingers into beautiful worlds of colour and chaos.
Now, it just blows inconveniently and loud around everything that surrounds me.
I have become anchored in this underwhelming realm of ****
No longer can I see past the flesh around me; the hazy shadows leaving sneak peaks to the souls they carry
Or feel the ancient spirits of the trees with milennia of knowledge and wisdom slumbering soundly.
Nor hear the Goddess sing in the crisp, quiet caress that came with the fallen snow.
No.
My life has become controlled by this...this small atrocity that absorbs all my colours and leave me dulled and gray
I'm calm and clear; but so calm I am empty.
There is no music in this new mind of mine
And my magick feels locked away
Is this normal?
Who would darken such a sunny day?
I say as I swallow the pills anyway.
Jan 31, 2021
Jan 31, 2021 at 10:43 PM UTC
For the first time
In too many years
I look to a mirror
And what should I see
But a beautiful and loved woman
With a smile in her eyes and a gasp on her lips.
After so many years of uncertainty
I finally recognize the reflection
Oct 22, 2020
Oct 22, 2020 at 12:12 PM UTC