Presumed self loathing
Implanted at my cold birth
Watered infrequently
Until
all ignorance wears off
Once it finally sprouts
It stays abloom
I'm loathing me
and
I'm loathing you
Apr 11, 2017
Apr 11, 2017 at 7:05 PM UTC
I live in vivid dreams of you
From dusk until dawn
Of when you sought comfort in my heartbeat
And held me stable
And held me often
Because you truly wanted me
For me
Then I awake
To a nightmare in real time
Void of you
Void of us
A pitch black existence,
A bitter reality I cannot yet comprehend
You say I've saved you all along
...Am I not worth salvation?
Put me back to sleep
You love me there
Jul 2, 2016
Jul 2, 2016 at 10:46 AM UTC
Where is the line crossing into madness?
Why am I always trying to get out of my head and
Into yours?
No one can survive your thoughts
Not even me-
someone so close to insanity
You will be so lonesome,
forever in the dark
Does the one I increasingly miss
still exist?
If you do not want me
in your life
I beg of you
get out of mine.
Jun 18, 2016
Jun 18, 2016 at 1:39 AM UTC
I hadn't been alone in so long,
I couldn't comprehend
How to be apart from you..
Still in love with you
And the idea of us.
Now that I'm here
I remember it well.
I'm settling in,
Pretending it feels like home.
I guess I can understand
The way you say you need to be
Alone / Detached / Without
But ..
Won't you miss me?
Haven't you a single doubt?
I admit,
I've been here before.
Before I met you..
Before I realized there was more.
Mar 17, 2016
Mar 17, 2016 at 5:33 PM UTC
My bangs are too long or too short
Crooked and cold
I try to smile
Please forget me
Sep 7, 2015
Sep 7, 2015 at 8:45 PM UTC
I don't stay up late to see the sunlight
creep in through the windows
anymore
I'm too occupied
trying to sleep away
-to keep away
who I used to be
back when you thought you knew me
because if I don't recall
I can simply fool myself to believe
I never heard you say you loved me
Mar 24, 2015
Mar 24, 2015 at 12:04 AM UTC
I've finally misplaced your birthmark
to make room in my head
For anything else that is willing to stay
and every time
I find my mind
wandering back to something you say
I hold my breath, I count to ten
and then somehow
You don't exist again
Mar 22, 2015
Mar 22, 2015 at 6:28 PM UTC
I was never an evil being
just morbid
worn
detached
but now that I'm older
I can feel this dark spite
slither up from the pit of my stomach
into my veins
and seep out through my eyes
So I bite my tongue
because I don't want to hurt you
but unfortunately
I'm venomous
Jul 7, 2014
Jul 7, 2014 at 1:39 PM UTC
i won't tell you
what it is i'm feeling
i'll just look at you
through the corner of my eye
and the demon inside of me
will point and howl
while i pretend
to fill voids
with happy thoughts
so i'll try to think about
what my smile would be like
if i had one.
Jul 1, 2014
Jul 1, 2014 at 3:37 PM UTC
Trying not to be alone
But it won't do me any good
The way I'm made
You wouldn't love me if you could
Apr 1, 2013
Apr 1, 2013 at 1:55 AM UTC