maudethebear - Hello Poetry

There is a building with many floors Why am I in the basement? There is a building full of light and colour, With patios, gardens, expansive views and galleries to see the stars Why am I in the basement? What is it I nurse down there in that place? What is it I can’t bare to leave alone? Is it my pain? It is my pain. My wounded child is down there, my wounded heart With such fear of the world that he dare not leave And I can’t bear to leave him Lest he cries out in pain So I stay down there In that dark place Where life is not. We together him and I We ruminate in bitter company together As life happens elsewhere Is he me? Am I him? Is it a betrayal if for some moments I step into the light of day? What would happen if I take him with me? This pained child. How would the sun meet his skin? Might it heal him to be exposed to fresh air and the fragrance of day? If I go might he follow? Do I enable his misery by remaining with him in my faithful company? Perhaps Do I benefit him by sacrificing my life to care for him in that place? Let’s at least try something else Explore another floor… he can come if he wishes….

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Oct 21, 2024

Oct 21, 2024 at 2:49 PM UTC

The Building of the Soul

There is a building with many floors Why am I in the basement? There is a building full of light and colour, With patios, gardens, expansive views and galleries to see the stars Why am I in the basement? What is it I nurse down there in that place? What is it I can’t bare to leave alone? Is it my pain? It is my pain. My wounded child is down there, my wounded heart With such fear of the world that he dare not leave And I can’t bear to leave him Lest he cries out in pain So I stay down there In that dark place Where life is not. We together him and I We ruminate in bitter company together As life happens elsewhere Is he me? Am I him? Is it a betrayal if for some moments I step into the light of day? What would happen if I take him with me? This pained child. How would the sun meet his skin? Might it heal him to be exposed to fresh air and the fragrance of day? If I go might he follow? Do I enable his misery by remaining with him in my faithful company? Perhaps Do I benefit him by sacrificing my life to care for him in that place? Let’s at least try something else Explore another floor… he can come if he wishes….

32

I would be a great artist If only i could sit still, If only i could give myself permission to stop, To pause long enough to create Without this rush Without this never ending, unceasing drive To be finished already To be on to the next thing... This feeling That im already too late For action For life For love For now.... Im too late for now! **** Stuck on this merry go round Which is neither merry Nor travelling towards any destination Except my inevitable death... I consume my life with things not done With what I should be doing but am not... In the minutie of banall tasks While the joy, light and colour of my life remains unpainted. Just melancoly ideas On a canvas strewn with trivialities.... Maybe this is my life? The sum of these random scrawls which somehow spells the shadow of the word "trauma". I sit in a pool of my own dissatisfaction Waiting for... for what? For better days? For salvation? To be rescued? As i push away those who may help... Such a strange thing Existance Life Hope....

0

Jan 20, 2024

Jan 20, 2024 at 5:54 AM UTC

ADHD

I would be a great artist If only i could sit still, If only i could give myself permission to stop, To pause long enough to create Without this rush Without this never ending, unceasing drive To be finished already To be on to the next thing... This feeling That im already too late For action For life For love For now.... Im too late for now! **** Stuck on this merry go round Which is neither merry Nor travelling towards any destination Except my inevitable death... I consume my life with things not done With what I should be doing but am not... In the minutie of banall tasks While the joy, light and colour of my life remains unpainted. Just melancoly ideas On a canvas strewn with trivialities.... Maybe this is my life? The sum of these random scrawls which somehow spells the shadow of the word "trauma". I sit in a pool of my own dissatisfaction Waiting for... for what? For better days? For salvation? To be rescued? As i push away those who may help... Such a strange thing Existance Life Hope....

38

Oh sweet pleasure, Where have you gone? Now that days are dark And the tasks of the world are above me. I can't see you through the mist. My heart, covered as it is, feels you not. Like being adrift in a vast ocean Or alone in a confined space I wait For a truth which i know is out there... The truth of knowing Beyond doubt That things will change, That life will change, And all I need do is wait And my salvation will come Like a ship on the horizon Or a light of rising dawn Which will burn away the vapor. I will see you once again my heart, For now though I rest in my unawareness In my turmoil In union with my grief and the pain of life

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Jan 20, 2024

Jan 20, 2024 at 4:45 AM UTC

Lost at sea

Oh sweet pleasure, Where have you gone? Now that days are dark And the tasks of the world are above me. I can't see you through the mist. My heart, covered as it is, feels you not. Like being adrift in a vast ocean Or alone in a confined space I wait For a truth which i know is out there... The truth of knowing Beyond doubt That things will change, That life will change, And all I need do is wait And my salvation will come Like a ship on the horizon Or a light of rising dawn Which will burn away the vapor. I will see you once again my heart, For now though I rest in my unawareness In my turmoil In union with my grief and the pain of life

26

Ive arrived in my home and its empty and cold I feel like I'm empty and cold I want to hear voices and laughter and footsteps instead its just silent... all I hear is the wind whistling through the window that doesn't close properly The sea outside looks Cold and I don't feel safe. I don't feel like I can feel "Home" here. I don't even know what home is? Maybe home is safety Maybe home is love Can you feel those things in a place where you haven't felt safe and where you love vanished. So I'm here in my house just trying to be and not feel sacred and not feel alone And to try to get on with my life and do the things I know that I need to/should do to function on this planet. But I just want to hide, I just want to close the windows and close the curtains, curl up and never be seen again. That's the energy of darkness. So what do I do? I'm sat in front of my computer and ... I guess ill write a list... Try and do something. Maybe I should just try and bring a little kindness to this space of mine. To myself! Try and bring a little warmth into this space because no one else is going to be warming it up. I guess I could put the heating on? Create a bit of outer warmth while I try and bring a little inner warmth... And see if the day gets any easier. I made some tea... I wonder if I ask my heart to give me some kind of answer, what it will say? "Weather the storm" What does that mean? It just means, don't worry, keep going... The storm won't last forever. Just put on a rain jacket Stand on the deck and let the wind blow into my face and let the rain fall down on my waterproof Mac. Know that I can feel cold and wet but that tomorrow maybe the sun will be out and the storm can't last forever. So just keep keep facing into the wind. Eyes front, head up Keep steering the ship into the waves.

0

Oct 4, 2023

Oct 4, 2023 at 7:33 AM UTC

Home

Ive arrived in my home and its empty and cold I feel like I'm empty and cold I want to hear voices and laughter and footsteps instead its just silent... all I hear is the wind whistling through the window that doesn't close properly The sea outside looks Cold and I don't feel safe. I don't feel like I can feel "Home" here. I don't even know what home is? Maybe home is safety Maybe home is love Can you feel those things in a place where you haven't felt safe and where you love vanished. So I'm here in my house just trying to be and not feel sacred and not feel alone And to try to get on with my life and do the things I know that I need to/should do to function on this planet. But I just want to hide, I just want to close the windows and close the curtains, curl up and never be seen again. That's the energy of darkness. So what do I do? I'm sat in front of my computer and ... I guess ill write a list... Try and do something. Maybe I should just try and bring a little kindness to this space of mine. To myself! Try and bring a little warmth into this space because no one else is going to be warming it up. I guess I could put the heating on? Create a bit of outer warmth while I try and bring a little inner warmth... And see if the day gets any easier. I made some tea... I wonder if I ask my heart to give me some kind of answer, what it will say? "Weather the storm" What does that mean? It just means, don't worry, keep going... The storm won't last forever. Just put on a rain jacket Stand on the deck and let the wind blow into my face and let the rain fall down on my waterproof Mac. Know that I can feel cold and wet but that tomorrow maybe the sun will be out and the storm can't last forever. So just keep keep facing into the wind. Eyes front, head up Keep steering the ship into the waves.

38

Tired of his pirates life He flew off to the stars And found joy In the arms of a supernova.

0

Feb 19, 2023

Feb 19, 2023 at 12:29 PM UTC

Pirate meets Star!

Tired of his pirates life He flew off to the stars And found joy In the arms of a supernova.

4

So we made love and flew up into the sky Where the clouds caressed our shimmering bodies and the stars welcomed us home. There we stayed, resting... In silent ecstasy as the universe pulsated with the heartbeat of every soul Not a sound was heard As celestial bodies moved in silent ancient accord... "It is time," We said... at long last "To return to that place from long ago Where all is not as it should be Where confusion holds And fear abides." "We must return there, To walk amongst those who would know the truth And tell them of the beauty behind the veil."

0

Feb 19, 2023

Feb 19, 2023 at 12:25 PM UTC

Celestial union

So we made love and flew up into the sky Where the clouds caressed our shimmering bodies and the stars welcomed us home. There we stayed, resting... In silent ecstasy as the universe pulsated with the heartbeat of every soul Not a sound was heard As celestial bodies moved in silent ancient accord... "It is time," We said... at long last "To return to that place from long ago Where all is not as it should be Where confusion holds And fear abides." "We must return there, To walk amongst those who would know the truth And tell them of the beauty behind the veil."

14

I am the shell The empty vessel Thoughts echo in my mind You will discover me Sat still, Apparently peaceful Or at work. But i am not that Not there... For somewhere within I am lost Hidden or imprisoned Trapped Isolated Fearful I will not, Cannot Emerge My emotional bandwidth so contsrained I semi-live Exist Function Waiting until it is safe enough to emerge Pop the hatch And live again...

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Feb 19, 2023

Feb 19, 2023 at 5:55 AM UTC

The Shell

I am the shell The empty vessel Thoughts echo in my mind You will discover me Sat still, Apparently peaceful Or at work. But i am not that Not there... For somewhere within I am lost Hidden or imprisoned Trapped Isolated Fearful I will not, Cannot Emerge My emotional bandwidth so contsrained I semi-live Exist Function Waiting until it is safe enough to emerge Pop the hatch And live again...

25

My friends, We try to stay safe through doing what is familiar By avoiding those places of pain and discomfort within ourselves. And we may stay safe... Safe within the walls of our self constructed prison Safe in our loneliness and isolation Safe in the same old patterns which keep us narrow, small... But safe. And in this place we fear to open the unlocked door to our own liberation... We fear to step out into the light Because we know that to find our glorious presence We must travel through some dark corridors in our minds Through some fearful rooms within our soul. Confront places of pain in our hearts And release the tears which are trapped there. Lean into the mystery my friends. Lean into the discomfort... It may be that there is a force there to support you That you will remain buoyant as the winds of life flows past around and through you. But it may be that as you lean... you fall.... You may fall into the abyss of mystery and unknowing. Fall into a new and unknown space, Where you do not know who you are Or what to do next... And in that dark obscured space you must feel you way forward with your heart, Step into your wholeness and be guided by that deep ancient force with in you Your old familiar ways will not work here. What will you find there? Deep in that space of mystery That none may charter except for yourself What new wonders will be uncovered? What new gifts are waiting? If we only have the courage to abide with our selves If even for a moment? How will you know unless you take a deep breath. Still your mind And lean forward into that Abyss... Lean my friends and find out...

0

Feb 19, 2023

Feb 19, 2023 at 5:41 AM UTC

Leaning into the Abyss...

My friends, We try to stay safe through doing what is familiar By avoiding those places of pain and discomfort within ourselves. And we may stay safe... Safe within the walls of our self constructed prison Safe in our loneliness and isolation Safe in the same old patterns which keep us narrow, small... But safe. And in this place we fear to open the unlocked door to our own liberation... We fear to step out into the light Because we know that to find our glorious presence We must travel through some dark corridors in our minds Through some fearful rooms within our soul. Confront places of pain in our hearts And release the tears which are trapped there. Lean into the mystery my friends. Lean into the discomfort... It may be that there is a force there to support you That you will remain buoyant as the winds of life flows past around and through you. But it may be that as you lean... you fall.... You may fall into the abyss of mystery and unknowing. Fall into a new and unknown space, Where you do not know who you are Or what to do next... And in that dark obscured space you must feel you way forward with your heart, Step into your wholeness and be guided by that deep ancient force with in you Your old familiar ways will not work here. What will you find there? Deep in that space of mystery That none may charter except for yourself What new wonders will be uncovered? What new gifts are waiting? If we only have the courage to abide with our selves If even for a moment? How will you know unless you take a deep breath. Still your mind And lean forward into that Abyss... Lean my friends and find out...

39

I grew up with these cliffs the boundary of land and sea where rock, exposed and naked stands before the unforgiving elements eroding each moment yet stable a rock face, a solid, changing, evolution of nature raw, unflinching, unapologetic. holding a magic none can match. the beauty of the inner form exposed present, bold, unerring Who are we that stand before them? Do we bare out soul And allow life to shape us into beautiful magical beings of grace? Or do we brace against the winds of lifes changes try to hide our nature, cling onto a redundant view of ourselves and struggle to conceal our truths Be more like cliff and rock, Stable yet fluid. ever-present yet evolving Embrace your decay, your lines your growth Rejoice when a part of your psyche tumbles into the ocean and you are exposed In newness. and vulnerability. Strength is there.

0

Feb 18, 2023

Feb 18, 2023 at 4:56 PM UTC

I grew up with these cliffs...

I grew up with these cliffs the boundary of land and sea where rock, exposed and naked stands before the unforgiving elements eroding each moment yet stable a rock face, a solid, changing, evolution of nature raw, unflinching, unapologetic. holding a magic none can match. the beauty of the inner form exposed present, bold, unerring Who are we that stand before them? Do we bare out soul And allow life to shape us into beautiful magical beings of grace? Or do we brace against the winds of lifes changes try to hide our nature, cling onto a redundant view of ourselves and struggle to conceal our truths Be more like cliff and rock, Stable yet fluid. ever-present yet evolving Embrace your decay, your lines your growth Rejoice when a part of your psyche tumbles into the ocean and you are exposed In newness. and vulnerability. Strength is there.

24

Come to me because I need you I need your touch, your care, your support. Speak to me in soft tones. Tell me it will all be okay in the end. Reassure me that I am okay, that I will last, prevail, be whole and safe. That my life is not a mess, that I am doing well - just that this is my path right now. Tell me that it will not always be this hard, that I will be happy again when it is all over or sooner even. Touch me Let me feel your love Your heart Your care and nurture Your love.

0

Feb 17, 2023

Feb 17, 2023 at 3:12 PM UTC

Grounded

Come to me because I need you I need your touch, your care, your support. Speak to me in soft tones. Tell me it will all be okay in the end. Reassure me that I am okay, that I will last, prevail, be whole and safe. That my life is not a mess, that I am doing well - just that this is my path right now. Tell me that it will not always be this hard, that I will be happy again when it is all over or sooner even. Touch me Let me feel your love Your heart Your care and nurture Your love.

25