If you are the sun, I am the ocean's waves,
we are two different poems refusing to collide,
alas, no amount of longing will strip the sun
from the skies just to make her mine.
You are gentle while I am storming,
but there's an order to my chaos,
a system to the way my waves crash,
if you would just memorize me,
you could understand my seas.
I know we're caught in separate worlds,
but I've seen the way the sun embraces
the edge of the sea before it goes to sleep,
maybe it's not time for the sun to set,
yet I'm still dreaming to be your horizon.
~ Matthew Walker ~
Mar 29, 2015
Mar 29, 2015 at 1:23 AM UTC
My heart is racing faster than ever before,
my thoughts refuse to slow down,
everything inside of me is shaking,
all because the possibility of you and me.
I have never been this terrified in my life,
and you haven't the slightest clue,
you're causing flash floods in my veins
every time you speak my name.
When you say I'm a good man,
I start to forget how to swim,
but if this is what you call drowning,
I don't ever want to breathe again.
I want to tell you how I feel,
but I'm trapped beneath the waves,
forming syllables is walking on water,
and I'm still caught in the storm.
~ Matthew Walker ~
Dec 11, 2014
Dec 11, 2014 at 9:57 PM UTC
When I was in the thick of it,
struggling with that depression and all it's horrors,
if I was having a really bad day,
I would climb out my bedroom window
and put a blanket on my roof
and lie there until the sun went down.
It's my favorite part of the day.
It just makes you feel good,
seeing something so beautiful, you know?
That's how I feel when I look at you.
There's a million sunsets in your eyes
and everything feels okay when they meet mine.
You are my favorite part of the day.
~ Matthew Walker ~
Dec 5, 2014
Dec 5, 2014 at 1:25 PM UTC
I am fighting for the day
I will be happy at 2am,
my soul content at 3am,
and my heart at peace at 4am.
When I achieve this,
then I know I have made it.
No longer afraid of the dark,
insomnia replaced with rest,
my own thoughts stop haunting,
an end to the whispered weeping.
When I find this,
then I will know success.
Loneliness doesn't know my name,
depression loses his chance to invade,
love finds a home inside my ribcage,
my empty heart has been filled.
When I know this,
I have reached the finish.
~ Matthew Walker ~
Oct 30, 2014
Oct 30, 2014 at 6:31 PM UTC
I want to be the one
in their history books
the legend around the campfire,
a name they won't forget.
My heart longs for greatness,
my bones rattle at the thought
of changing this decrepit rock
into something beautiful again.
Wherever I turn my eyes,
people are breaking on the inside,
homes are burning from this pain;
I see creation crying for freedom.
Can I change anything?
This question keeps me awake,
weeping in the latest hours,
begging God to let me fight.
I hear their cries!
I see emptiness in their eyes,
lost children walking the streets,
asking "Why did he leave?"
How is it I love those I've never seen?
My soul aches for their suffering,
there are human beings dying
and nobody is doing anything!
When they asked me what
I wanted to be when I grew up,
It was always a hero,
someone who fought for others.
All my life I've cared too much,
I'm beginning to feel claustrophobic,
I was given this big heart,
then placed in a little world.
I fear I am simply crazy,
a senseless romanticist.
But I curse my insecurities,
they will not **** me!
My dreams are impossible,
they say it's just my youth,
I'll grow out of this heart,
and join the rest of society.
But I violently refuse!
Let me be a light in a dark room,
may I bring hope to all who breathe,
I give my life to change eternity!
~ Matthew Walker ~
Oct 30, 2014
Oct 30, 2014 at 4:52 AM UTC
I am a liar and a fake and a hypocrite.
I’m tired of screaming sincerity,
all the while begging for amnesty.
I can wash my hands
but I can never clean the granite.
My body moans contentment,
but my eyes are empty
and I’ve had an epiphany,
this loneliness shrieks humanity
but I need something apart from me.
I pray your name daily
but I’m still desperately failing,
so i’ll ask once more,
will you break my heart
and save me from my immorality?
Oct 27, 2014
Oct 27, 2014 at 4:36 AM UTC
When I say I miss you,
it's not just that I want to see you.
I spoke with you face to face tonight,
but I still miss you.
I miss you like 2am misses the sunlight,
like the warm beach misses snowflakes,
like a fish misses the hillside,
as a poet misses the words he couldn't find.
I want to write you down,
for each part of our lives to rhyme,
I want to be yours and you, mine,
but you're the poem trapped in my mind.
~ Matthew Walker ~
Oct 22, 2014
Oct 22, 2014 at 3:41 AM UTC
If you want to love me,
don't just give me your words,
keep your empty promises,
I've had enough of those.
Trace your fingers along my skin
until you can tell my stories,
memorize the hidden scars
and know the depths of my heart.
Cut your fingertips on the cracked
mirrors inside my chest cavity
as they reflect my insecurities
and all my trembling mysteries.
Warm up beside the fires within me,
feed me timber when I begin to fade,
shield me on the dreadful rainy days,
fan my small sparks into flames.
Don't you dare tell me you love me
if you haven't yet wept for me,
felt the sting of my broken pieces,
or burned when I came alive.
~Matthew Walker~
Oct 9, 2014
Oct 9, 2014 at 6:01 PM UTC
My emotions are a skeleton
and every bone is breaking.
My heart is a cavern
and the ceiling is collapsing.
If disappointment were the ocean,
I'd have sailed the seven seas.
My eyes are a furnace
and the saltwater is my excuse.
I could create endless metaphors,
turn my anguish into beauty,
craft well-written analogies,
and pretend pain is poetry.
But honestly I'm just empty,
there are no words that convey
this simple absence of fulfillment,
the hole in my chest isn't poetic.
I have huge dreams and fiery passions,
but I'm lying in bed writing poems,
life is dripping through my fingertips
and I'm just watching it hit the cement.
I feel like a failure,
I'm afraid my life is worthless,
I'm incapable of succeeding,
I'm not good enough to win.
These words are midnight's lies
but they're finding me in the daylight.
I have become exhausted,
and I am so tired of being tired.
Oct 6, 2014
Oct 6, 2014 at 4:12 PM UTC
It's the middle of the night
and I haven't figured out
if these feelings are lying
or if I'm only honest in the dark.
I feel alone every time
I slow down enough to feel
and I'm craving the feeling
your body beside me brings.
I'm not allowed to have you
and it's breaking every bone
inside my aching soul
at least that's my 1am feeling.
Oct 3, 2014
Oct 3, 2014 at 4:09 AM UTC