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matthew-rowe
American Born: North Dakota. / Lived: Philippines, Minnesota
I am a dreamer, and shall I not dream? Of heroes and villains and warriors unseen? Of battles to save the helpless and oppressed Of Dragons and quests and maidens in distress Of heroes being so not because of their gifts But because they do what’s right, no matter the rifts It will cause in their lives, till death will they part From the internal pursuits that engulf their heart How can this world offer me anything? When I’m dwelling in the depths of hearts Or soaring on eagle’s wings?
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Aug 20, 2010
Aug 20, 2010 at 2:27 PM UTC
I am a Dreamer
Drip, Drop, Drip Drop, The bucket sloshes, The old woman kneels To clean the threshold of the ones she serves Drip, Drop, Drip, Drop, The bucket sloshes She thinks on her past And her life and her hopes her dreams, her last husband long gone her friends who’ve been near her enemies who’ve hurt her, those she holds dear Drip, Drop, Drip, Drop The bucket sloshes, She washes away She sets herself to work and begins to pray Drip, Drop, Drip, Drop The bucket sloshes, As she moves down the hall Her heart, it labors, as she scrubs at the floor the billows of her breath begin to bore into her hands she can work no more she needs a small break to labor without work Drip, Drop, Drip, Drop She weeps for those who have not drawn near, For those who are hurting, and lonely, and fear She will stay forever, in her master’s doorway, She would rather die, than never have stayed Drip, Drop, Drip, Drop, The bucket sloshes, her made clean heart aches, is comforted by a sovereign king’s ways trials and terrors and toil and sin good he has planned, don’t let uncertainty win Drip, Drop, Drip, Drop, The bucket sloshes, She goes back to work To labor and love, The last to the first
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Aug 20, 2010
Aug 20, 2010 at 2:26 PM UTC
The Doorkeeper
El amor es una cosa muy bella es una cosa que no entiendo sobre que no puedo poner mi dedo de que quiero correr por miedo pero, la felicidad en mi corazón solo puede correr en un dirección a ti No tengo la decisión Había hecho para mi ¿Por quién? No sé. Tengo miedo, sí, pero solo hay una mujer a quien quiere correr y es tú solo tú La verdad en mi corazón es objetivo ¿Mis temas? subjetivas Quiero su amor, solo sus abrazos, solo sus besos Solo tú Habías robarlo a mi corazón, no sé cómo y no sé cuándo, pero lo tiene ¿me gusta que lo tiene? Si, tengo miedo, pero es un facto Mi corazón es contigo. ¿Puedo decirte todo de este? No, no puedo, hasta que estamos casados.
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Aug 20, 2010
Aug 20, 2010 at 2:22 PM UTC
El amor es bella
With a deep sigh I stare into the mirror. How did I get here? Things used to go so well. It never used to be like this. I never used to be like this. Things used to be different. Should I blame myself? Or others? How do I get out? What should I do? Answers? None. But there it is, staring right back at me. Has it always been there? It’s a realization that I have spent most of my life trying to ignore. It’s a realization that I have spent most of my life trying to cover up. It’s a realization that I really don’t want to believe. Yet there it is, staring me in the face. I have problems.
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Aug 20, 2010
Aug 20, 2010 at 2:21 PM UTC
The Mirror
At the foot of the bed, a pair of lace, gently resting side by side, are waiting for the slender toe to creep inside and hide She gently prowls and waits around until the light is dim, your eyes are weary, your strength is faint Do not let the Shadow Lady in. She coos and soothes, seemingly to say just “what you need” And promises what she can not give do not let the Shadow Lady in Leave the room, turn the Light, Throw her shoes through the side glass door Do not let her feet, into her shoes hide, The Shadow Lady’s Slippers do not abide
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Aug 19, 2010
Aug 19, 2010 at 2:33 PM UTC
The Shadow Lady (Part II)
To be all where you are is not as easy as it seems. For when the poisonous asp of "could be" and "what if" sinks his fangs into your skin, the venom takes you to a bad cloud land, a carousel of dreams. Round and round, up and down, jostling and bumping and bouncing around. No distance covered, no progress made, you've fallen into the lie of the Prince Masquerade. The lie is subtle, easy to believer, much easier than work, seemingly to relieve. But dizziness comes when spinning too fast, nausea and chunks, it won't be your last. Paralyzed you lay, on this spinning death ride, "did you ***** up", "What now should you try?" "Is it better over there, greener on that side?" Or is where I'm at OK, the best for my wretched hide. Optimization, efficiency, the lot, all come hurtling at me as I enter the shop. Come, this is better, the best, I am sure. Focus on me, not God's leading, or that you've been bought, focus on your flaws, your sin, and your doubt. Jesus, in you, is my only hope. I don't know how you could care for and lead such a dope, your word has promises that quiet my soul. May I turn to you, and may you restore me (my fear, doubt, guilt). Make me whole. What is, is. And what could be is not. Do what you're called, do it well and a lot. Look not behind, forget it, it's gone. Look forward to Jesus, he will lead you on.
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Aug 19, 2010
Aug 19, 2010 at 2:31 PM UTC
The Asp of Could-Be
Ahh Valentine's Day is here, the florists will bustle, the suitors will scheme, especially, purposefully, to make themselves clean the worry, the fear, rejection, heart's seared,, the conquest, the prize, the look in her eyes, the candies and rings, and many shiny things, leave them all wanting, with no stability near I have a romance, too big for this day, throughout, every moment, never to sway, that is the romance that I will tell you about, I long for you, pursue you, do not have a doubt My eyes are set, on the bride I want I see her, I lead her, I long, to her, flaunt, She comes down the aisle, ragged dress, beaten, free When I look into her heart, it's my Son that I see. So because of that one thing I will never her leave. I put him there, I sustain a good work, I will complete. The day I marry her, the inside will be adorning the bride, her anguish relieved I will never, not ever, because of her dress, abandon her, leave her, because she's a mess So until that day comes, I will tell you this tale, of my bride who I love, who I will never fail In the storms, she may hide in the boats deepest space but I will walk on water and through glass, to be by her side.
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Aug 19, 2010
Aug 19, 2010 at 2:29 PM UTC
To My Girlfriend on Valentine's Day
How can I move with a paralyzed heart? Alone, yet surrounded, I want to depart From this painful world and my sickening sin An otter with no tail, a fish with no fin Men what are we doing, with our daily lives? Work, triviality, I struggle to survive Shallow relationship, isolational fervor No ability of account, or unashamed vulner What is the purpose of our daily lives? Sharing our lives with our work? We can thrive Doing that will complete the task And leave us fulfilled, but it will not last Does what we do care? Can it embrace and rebuke? Encourage us to Jesus? When we just don't want to? Can we be vulnerable with it, and it with us in return? Or will it light a match, and watch our world burn? It's either God and people, or what you do and don't do. Only one can carry you through. One points to Jesus, the other to you, Our object of faith or a rotting old shoe I have no one daily, in my life To encourage me, love me, lead me to Christ And so alone down this path, lonely and straight, Death accompanies, and ahead, death waits
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Aug 19, 2010
Aug 19, 2010 at 2:27 PM UTC
Iron Sharpening
Cold and empty Yearning to feel love for people and my God as I kneel in this unstable heart to tremble with fear that it will always be this way no rejoicing to hear in this cavernous heart at my insides I tear “feel oh soul!” “love!” away my icy sin wear oh God of my heart my unshakable love who is stronger than my irrepressable tug of war within this fickle broken heart, at war within, my God stronger thou art.
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Aug 18, 2010
Aug 18, 2010 at 5:13 PM UTC
Cold and Empty
The Elephant of Everyday comes stomping through my door roaring and tromping and crashing about blowing his trumpety horn the prowling Panther of Performance from the closet slides into the room and circles my bed, growling, as he passes my head hideous goals he lets loose the Snake of Selfishness and Self-Centered Living slithers from under my bed he slides up the frame and under my sheets as he curls up and warms my feets the Black Lion of Pride struts into the room strong and boasting and loud living with no help, providing, perfect telling me how I'm not him the Otter of Overwhelming Panic slaps into my room, jabbering and fretting about running into my desk and my chair and my walls worrying and biting his ever shortening nails trying to find his way out the Shadow Lady strides into my room eye contact trying to make the envelope pushes, seduction gushes objectification she offers me to take first I try to kick and pry the snake off of my legs but he tighter clings and up my torso climbs his scales piercing my sides with a snake on my neck I sit on my bed, my feet touching the ground and kick and shout at the panther as he around me continues to prowl he slashes and bites at my feet and legs cutting and gouging my flesh the panther still fighting, I manage to rise and focus on the Black Lion of Pride he sees me coming a mile away and talks me to my knees I yell and scream 'till I am hoarse and shake as I weep bitterly as I kneel, below me runs the otter, stammering anxiously I chuckle with malice as he bumbles away misery loves company quickly I jump up, out of the way of the Elephant of Everyday I kick his foot as he continues to thrash he does not notice, or even sway I turn around and face to face the Shadow Lady's eyes back me into a corner as I fail to look away, but feebly try so on my knees I whimper and cry as the Gorilla of Guilt comes in his padded feet near, his thick body looms as he raises his huge tight fist, to close the tomb I deserve this I've fallen I'm no use at all I can't uphold myself on whom can I call? I'm ****** and broken inside and out I fight and lose then I cry and shout "Stag of Solace, come near to me I fail at fighting, this is my plea thrash these menaces, clean my heart I want to feel near you, never to part" immediately, a rumbling sound came from the hall, increasingly loud they looked at each other, anxiously then watched the door, slowly backing away the Stag of Solace smashed through the door splintering, crushing, a wood shrapnel shower through the door and into the roaring Black Lion as, through the window he's rammed, slashing and crying strong, poised, graceful he stood his sharp eyes narrowed, eyeing this zoo slowly the animals backed away into the darkness, for now, to stay his fur was short and sleek and brown he wore compassion, ivory peace his crown he came to me, I could not look he lifted my eyes, bade me come his shadow, protection, I took To me he whispered: my child you strive, you fight on your own you think you can do this, you can not alone your sin will never separate you from me I save you, I purify, I set you free he nuzzled my forehead my wounds went away he spoke once again this time to me and the fray the day is coming when I will return to get rid of the zoo, it will surely burn for you no more wounds or tears or fear those things that burden you, never again, will be near look and wait, for when I come I come to save and restore it will be done until then you will have trouble when you run but take heart, for I am near I hear you, I answer, I have overcome he nuzzled again and strolled to the door turned and looked, and let loose a fierce roar charging away, he powerfully ran his echo in my head, "I will help you be a man" and slowly I got up and began to dress thinking upon the Stag and me his sin filled, ugly, made beautiful mess I will still, to my dismay entertain this masquerading zoo but the Stag is in and with me all things he makes new and I fight and lose and strive to this day but because the Stag of Solace helps me I shall never, not ever, be put to shame
0
Aug 18, 2010
Aug 18, 2010 at 5:12 PM UTC
Morning
The Elephant of Everyday comes stomping through my door roaring and tromping and crashing about blowing his trumpety horn the prowling Panther of Performance from the closet slides into the room and circles my bed, growling, as he passes my head hideous goals he lets loose the Snake of Selfishness and Self-Centered Living slithers from under my bed he slides up the frame and under my sheets as he curls up and warms my feets the Black Lion of Pride struts into the room strong and boasting and loud living with no help, providing, perfect telling me how I'm not him the Otter of Overwhelming Panic slaps into my room, jabbering and fretting about running into my desk and my chair and my walls worrying and biting his ever shortening nails trying to find his way out the Shadow Lady strides into my room eye contact trying to make the envelope pushes, seduction gushes objectification she offers me to take first I try to kick and pry the snake off of my legs but he tighter clings and up my torso climbs his scales piercing my sides with a snake on my neck I sit on my bed, my feet touching the ground and kick and shout at the panther as he around me continues to prowl he slashes and bites at my feet and legs cutting and gouging my flesh the panther still fighting, I manage to rise and focus on the Black Lion of Pride he sees me coming a mile away and talks me to my knees I yell and scream 'till I am hoarse and shake as I weep bitterly as I kneel, below me runs the otter, stammering anxiously I chuckle with malice as he bumbles away misery loves company quickly I jump up, out of the way of the Elephant of Everyday I kick his foot as he continues to thrash he does not notice, or even sway I turn around and face to face the Shadow Lady's eyes back me into a corner as I fail to look away, but feebly try so on my knees I whimper and cry as the Gorilla of Guilt comes in his padded feet near, his thick body looms as he raises his huge tight fist, to close the tomb I deserve this I've fallen I'm no use at all I can't uphold myself on whom can I call? I'm ****** and broken inside and out I fight and lose then I cry and shout "Stag of Solace, come near to me I fail at fighting, this is my plea thrash these menaces, clean my heart I want to feel near you, never to part" immediately, a rumbling sound came from the hall, increasingly loud they looked at each other, anxiously then watched the door, slowly backing away the Stag of Solace smashed through the door splintering, crushing, a wood shrapnel shower through the door and into the roaring Black Lion as, through the window he's rammed, slashing and crying strong, poised, graceful he stood his sharp eyes narrowed, eyeing this zoo slowly the animals backed away into the darkness, for now, to stay his fur was short and sleek and brown he wore compassion, ivory peace his crown he came to me, I could not look he lifted my eyes, bade me come his shadow, protection, I took To me he whispered: my child you strive, you fight on your own you think you can do this, you can not alone your sin will never separate you from me I save you, I purify, I set you free he nuzzled my forehead my wounds went away he spoke once again this time to me and the fray the day is coming when I will return to get rid of the zoo, it will surely burn for you no more wounds or tears or fear those things that burden you, never again, will be near look and wait, for when I come I come to save and restore it will be done until then you will have trouble when you run but take heart, for I am near I hear you, I answer, I have overcome he nuzzled again and strolled to the door turned and looked, and let loose a fierce roar charging away, he powerfully ran his echo in my head, "I will help you be a man" and slowly I got up and began to dress thinking upon the Stag and me his sin filled, ugly, made beautiful mess I will still, to my dismay entertain this masquerading zoo but the Stag is in and with me all things he makes new and I fight and lose and strive to this day but because the Stag of Solace helps me I shall never, not ever, be put to shame
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