There is no finish line
you run and you run and you run
your legs get tired
you cross that line
you collapse
in a combination of exhaustion pride and excitement
a euphoric happiness i guess
you're done
but then the finish line moves
and you're still miles and miles away
you have to pick your exhausted body up
and keep moving
or you don't
so many people don't
but there is no finish line
there is no first place
and there is no winners circle
you just keep running
until one day
you don't
Sep 13, 2016
Sep 13, 2016 at 1:27 PM UTC
Because I will never leave
Maybe I won’t be standing right next to you
But I’ll a piece of every blooming flower on an early spring morning
I’ll be in every raindrop that lands on your skin when you don’t want to live anymore
I’ll be in the rays of the sun shining down on your brightest days
I’ll be present in the slight chill of a fall breeze
I will never leave you
I will always be here
I will always be so close
no matter how far away I feel
telling you how sorry I am you can’t feel me beside you
But I’ll be there
Jul 3, 2015
Jul 3, 2015 at 6:51 AM UTC
If I had 1,000 years I’d spend them all terrified
I’d spend them counting down the days
I’d spend them fearing the end
and wishing wanting and praying for 1,000 more
I’d spend them fearing the end
I’d spend them fearing the end
and I’d be relieved the day my time was up.
May 25, 2015
May 25, 2015 at 1:26 AM UTC
nobody likes me when I'm happy
when theres a smile on my face
when I feel whole
when there's substance
it's when I'm empty
drained of all the substance
it's when I have nothing left to grasp at
that you feel best about yourself
when I have nothing left to brag about
that you've got the world at your feet
you've got the world knocking on your door
and i've got no one crying at me feet
I could dissapear
and the only difference it'd make
is there's more mail for you to toss away
Sep 7, 2014
Sep 7, 2014 at 1:28 AM UTC
i stick my head out the window of speeding cars
to know what it's like to fall without a parachute
to no freedom
no responsibilities
no plan b's
no safe way out
to know it's over
to fall and know the only thing ahead of you
is the ground
I call the shots
I decide when it's over
I fall when I want to fall
I hit the ground when I want it to end
My life
I didn't decide when it started
but it ends when I want it to end
I hold the trigger
where the period goes is all my choice.
Sep 7, 2014
Sep 7, 2014 at 1:05 AM UTC
"It's all I've ever known" she sputtered
but she's 34 years old now
the scars on her wrists aren't liberating
and the cries for help aren't cute
the self destructive girl
isn't going to be saved by a white knight on a noble steed
her nights of feeling incomplete
alone
empty
and unhappy with every moment of her life
from her wedding night
the birth of her son
the day she met him
none of it had ever gone right
and no matter how hard she fought to destroy herself
there was never a white knight on a noble steed coming to save her from herself
Mar 5, 2014
Mar 5, 2014 at 8:51 AM UTC
If this is how it is
how it's going to be
if this is all we are
all that we were ever meant to be
then you can bury me now
we are not whole
maybe we never will be
but then you can bury me
because i'm too tired
tired of fighting
tired of looking
tired of feeling
bury me now
I could use the rest.
Feb 16, 2014
Feb 16, 2014 at 1:42 AM UTC
"Just breathing is exhausting" she muttered it under her breath, but I heard it. I can't say I was surprised, I would've heard those words regardless, she had them written on her face and all throughout her body. The way her bones cracked when she stood up, the way the whites of her eyes had been swapped out and tinged by a glazed over yellow. She moved like each finger lifted, each muscle contraction was oh so intricately planned but oh so poorly executed. All the color of her face was drained to an empty hollow grey. Nothing in her life had gone right. I couldn't blame her for pulling the trigger, I still can't, but I'll never stop blaming myself for teaching her how to hold the gun.
Feb 11, 2014
Feb 11, 2014 at 6:52 AM UTC
Keep striving
work your *** off to be unhappy
be incomplete
hate yourself
hate your fellow man
hate the walls you surround yourself with
the people on your day to day commute
the people that smile at you
the people that frown forever
**** them
break things
hearts, promises, faces
get ******
be honest
especially if it'll hurt
be erratic
but no matter what you try to do
don't you dare try to be happy
nobody writes about happiness
Feb 10, 2014
Feb 10, 2014 at 1:13 AM UTC
I grew up in a house full of tension
and bad words meant in the sincerest of ways
the kinds of words that leave bruises
worse than a fist
and cuts
deeper than a butchers knife
the tension you could wrap up in a blanket and take to bed at night
those cold feelings that grew to be so familiar that you welcomed them with open arms
not because you wanted them or even enjoyed those emotions
but because they were all you had ever known
and when you take away the only constant in your life
no matter how much you despised it
you're still left with nothing
Jun 25, 2013
Jun 25, 2013 at 1:08 AM UTC