I know I shouldn’t love you.
But I do.
I want to trace every inch of your skin with my fingertips.
Wrap around you tight.
Like a serpent.
Wishing I was all that’s in your head.
You’re in mine.
Like a song on repeat.
Over and over I play you.
Your stupid smile and your stupid stare.
The way you brush by me and your stupid ******* hair.
You drive me crazy.
And I wish you didn’t.
God I wish you would just disappear.
But the problem is I wish the opposite.
I wish you were here.
It would just make everything easier.
But those few seconds of my heart racing.
And my mind flooding.
Would fly away along with you.
And I ******* crave it.
Like a cigarette in the morning.
I crave you.
Like a bad habit.
Oct 17, 2023
Oct 17, 2023 at 8:40 PM UTC
Sometimes I write, just to breathe.
Because my heart rules my head
And I'm so ******* tired.
Blood colored red. Hate in my heart, love on my brain. I cannot escape this crippling pain.
Someone help me, for I am sin. I cannot escape this darkness within.
Feb 27, 2017
Feb 27, 2017 at 4:50 PM UTC
My hands are numb and so is my heart.
Every breath of air I take into my chest hurts.
In and out its like running a 5k marathon.
My stomach twists and turns.
My head fluttered with racing thoughts.
Tears filling up in my eyes like a bathtub.
Body aches.
Laying in the bed straight staring aimlessly at the ceiling. Quiet and numb. I can't feel anything.
Nothing at all.
I want to scream
I want to cry out
But nobody will listen
Nobody understands this deep dark twisted pain.
On replay everyday for my enjoyment.
Maybe one day I'll wake up,
And I won't be depressed.
Probably not.
Feb 1, 2017
Feb 1, 2017 at 1:28 PM UTC
I can't breathe, my chest hurts.
I can't cry there is no tears.
Knees hit the ground hard.
Bruises inside and out.
Hands around my head.
Voices in my ears.
Words on replay.
Over and over.
Stop.
******* stop.
I can't breathe.
Scream.
Jul 30, 2016
Jul 30, 2016 at 3:28 PM UTC
I could trace your pains on your face
Your sunken cheek bones
blood shot eyes
Shadowed bags.
And to yet I still look into your deep gem green and see nothing but perfection.
The most handsome man to ever cross my path.
I am mesmerized by you.
Tranced.
You curve the outlines of my heart with your touch.
I could hold your hand forever
You are all I want
And all I'll need
You.
Jul 4, 2016
Jul 4, 2016 at 11:22 PM UTC
December was an awful month.
Obnoxious Christmas music
Trees dead
Entitled children
Slay bells ringing blah, blah
******** ********
I get out of my car
And my eyes meet yours
And within that moment and every single entire moment after.
December became my favorite month.
December Is what brought me to you.
December let me look into your green eyes.
December helped me fall in love.
December intrusted me hope.
Now I sing in the winter.
And I don't hate December anymore.
Because December gave me you.
May 28, 2016
May 28, 2016 at 2:56 AM UTC
You were a storm
Thunder and lightening
Winds rolling
moving leaves
swaying trees
I was a title wave
mass destruction
water moving rapidly
And when we met
How the hell could we create
Such sunny skies
I cleared your clouds
and you calmed my waves
Our worlds collide
Our souls
Our hearts
became one
May 17, 2016
May 17, 2016 at 8:31 PM UTC
My eyes cold and grey
Gaze deep in your flecks of green.
You flow color into me.
A smile on my face.
Red on my cheeks.
Hands intertwined tight.
Life or death.
Never letting go.
Fluttering in my chest.
Tears in my eyes.
Fullness in my soul.
Exploring the inner workings.
Of your ever so beautiful heart.
I can't let go.
Oh god I'll never let go.
Arms around me as we drift asleep.
My mind constantly buzzing while
your away.
At complete ease when you are near
Don't leave.
Oh god don't you dare ever leave.
I'll never let go of your hand.
Forever and Always.
May 14, 2016
May 14, 2016 at 12:09 PM UTC
Every bone in my body aches.
Dark thoughts flood my mind.
Caressing my brain.
With suicidal thoughts.
Never ending mood swings.
Destruction.
Mutilation.
Trails of blood from the sink.
Tear filled memories.
End it all for me.
Pull the trigger.
Let me be.
May 4, 2016
May 4, 2016 at 1:00 AM UTC
Whispering noise in my ears
Like little kisses on my forehead
Comforting and addicting
Wrap my cigarette around my lips
Inhale my toxic waste
I am your wonderland
I want to taste you
Sweet like honeysuckle
Bodies rocking
Beds breaking
Obliterating reality into euphoria
Traveling through time and space
Colors moving rapidly
At two a.m. In your bedroom
Undercover
Locked doors
Apr 29, 2016
Apr 29, 2016 at 2:48 AM UTC