mariama - Hello Poetry

Limbo I feel like I am on a never ending train. No next stop. All this precious time I’ve wasted. God, look how much time I’ve wasted. I have wrote of you twice before Once after the first “I Love you” Again after I knew you. And now after I’ve known you.. The raging fire once felt now reduced to a flicker. I can now see you without a glimmer So many misunderstandings we never planned No one would ever understand. Who are you? Someone I should know but it feels as though you are a stranger Destined to be two halves that don’t fit Your noise echos in my ears Flashing memories of laughter brought While your betrayal vibrates in my body Leaving my stomach in knots Am I to forgive you for wanting to be whole. Sacrifice myself for you to be whole. No. I’ve rebuilt my wall. Brick by ******* brick Every piece to so sadly fall My tears it’s unyielding glue Leaving no clue Of the destruction it’s previously been through Now I know the true lesson in love To love until it is forevermore For in hope of another life with a chance at love once more

0

May 7, 2021

May 7, 2021 at 11:41 PM UTC

I’m back.

Limbo I feel like I am on a never ending train. No next stop. All this precious time I’ve wasted. God, look how much time I’ve wasted. I have wrote of you twice before Once after the first “I Love you” Again after I knew you. And now after I’ve known you.. The raging fire once felt now reduced to a flicker. I can now see you without a glimmer So many misunderstandings we never planned No one would ever understand. Who are you? Someone I should know but it feels as though you are a stranger Destined to be two halves that don’t fit Your noise echos in my ears Flashing memories of laughter brought While your betrayal vibrates in my body Leaving my stomach in knots Am I to forgive you for wanting to be whole. Sacrifice myself for you to be whole. No. I’ve rebuilt my wall. Brick by ******* brick Every piece to so sadly fall My tears it’s unyielding glue Leaving no clue Of the destruction it’s previously been through Now I know the true lesson in love To love until it is forevermore For in hope of another life with a chance at love once more

33

I vainly sought in him a cure to the same pain he caused. we would raise our arguments like sitting ducks just to to knock them down with reasons of logic or luck of love Some things cannot be undone, people say we are meant for each other, but is it truly so Maybe just a comfortable phase but will anything grow? He whispered that there was only me, I believed all that he breathed in my ear, he pulled me in close, closer than anyone before.. I think I hate him now, a bit more every day but I've not given up yet- I want him to stay. I wonder.. how do you fight jealously How do you make it stop it’s constant hunger inside you. Skin so soft that it doesn't seem real, in so deep I can’t keep it concealed but The doubt is consuming, the wall inside me was well-built and unyielding, my heart left too crippled from past abusers to possibly endure anymore pain So if this love fails it will destroy everything in its wake. I become enraged from time to time when the little green bug called jealously feeds away inside of me Love has taken control, the knowledge that i let “love” dismantle the wall, that i spent years building and reinforcing brick by ******* brick, piece by ******* piece i let him gradually demolish it and now i am powerless and susceptible and now he has me by the heartstrings and he holds me in his greedy palms. I even pray to God, I tell him that i would do anything anything just to take back control.

0

Jul 28, 2018

Jul 28, 2018 at 1:34 AM UTC

Jealously

I vainly sought in him a cure to the same pain he caused. we would raise our arguments like sitting ducks just to to knock them down with reasons of logic or luck of love Some things cannot be undone, people say we are meant for each other, but is it truly so Maybe just a comfortable phase but will anything grow? He whispered that there was only me, I believed all that he breathed in my ear, he pulled me in close, closer than anyone before.. I think I hate him now, a bit more every day but I've not given up yet- I want him to stay. I wonder.. how do you fight jealously How do you make it stop it’s constant hunger inside you. Skin so soft that it doesn't seem real, in so deep I can’t keep it concealed but The doubt is consuming, the wall inside me was well-built and unyielding, my heart left too crippled from past abusers to possibly endure anymore pain So if this love fails it will destroy everything in its wake. I become enraged from time to time when the little green bug called jealously feeds away inside of me Love has taken control, the knowledge that i let “love” dismantle the wall, that i spent years building and reinforcing brick by ******* brick, piece by ******* piece i let him gradually demolish it and now i am powerless and susceptible and now he has me by the heartstrings and he holds me in his greedy palms. I even pray to God, I tell him that i would do anything anything just to take back control.

19

You give and give until they pull everything out of you and leave you empty

0

Nov 7, 2016

Nov 7, 2016 at 12:55 AM UTC

Empty

You give and give until they pull everything out of you and leave you empty

1

In this battle for the freedom of our souls some may think Maybe I should've let go long ago From being kings and queens, Chiefs and Pharaohs To ******* in the cotton fields To slaves being whipped and forgotten We were stolen. Stripped from our homes and looted of our gold. Fast forward Now we are doctors, lawyers, professors But Don't tell me the cotton fields have recovered from our tears Our sweat seeps deep into the souls of America So Don't tell me the cotton fields have recovered from our blood. Fast forward "All are equal before the law and are entitled without any discrimination to equal protection of the law." They tell us equality is coming. That it is here. Then let you wait holding your breath Suffocating. Black boy shot and killed for walking down the street Black boy whipped and beaten for looking master in the eye Tell me are you still holding your breath? Still suffocating Still waiting for the keys to our chains Fast forward Black lives matter All roads torn down, we've paved new paths Stripped from our houses so we built homes Lotted for our gold but we are golden Black is hard to get rid of, that annoying stain that stays to long Black is rough and tough Black is solid in luring ways But Black lives won't matter until we love our own people Black lives won't. matter. to. them. because you've called that girl a *** or Thot" Black lives won't matter until we stop the black on black blood splatter For black lives to matter... We must empower each other Standing together the ground will break recognizing he whose tears, sweat and blood upon which it was built So take one look at our past Because this will be the last

0

Sep 10, 2016

Sep 10, 2016 at 11:55 AM UTC

Fast forward

In this battle for the freedom of our souls some may think Maybe I should've let go long ago From being kings and queens, Chiefs and Pharaohs To ******* in the cotton fields To slaves being whipped and forgotten We were stolen. Stripped from our homes and looted of our gold. Fast forward Now we are doctors, lawyers, professors But Don't tell me the cotton fields have recovered from our tears Our sweat seeps deep into the souls of America So Don't tell me the cotton fields have recovered from our blood. Fast forward "All are equal before the law and are entitled without any discrimination to equal protection of the law." They tell us equality is coming. That it is here. Then let you wait holding your breath Suffocating. Black boy shot and killed for walking down the street Black boy whipped and beaten for looking master in the eye Tell me are you still holding your breath? Still suffocating Still waiting for the keys to our chains Fast forward Black lives matter All roads torn down, we've paved new paths Stripped from our houses so we built homes Lotted for our gold but we are golden Black is hard to get rid of, that annoying stain that stays to long Black is rough and tough Black is solid in luring ways But Black lives won't matter until we love our own people Black lives won't. matter. to. them. because you've called that girl a *** or Thot" Black lives won't matter until we stop the black on black blood splatter For black lives to matter... We must empower each other Standing together the ground will break recognizing he whose tears, sweat and blood upon which it was built So take one look at our past Because this will be the last

40

Imagine falling out of a window or getting in a car crash, break some bones, get a few stitches, scrape some skin You'll get a cast, few bandages and anesthetic Now Imagine cancer, a tumorous mass maybe somewhere in your brain or lungs.. not even noticeable to you let alone those around you then some day there's a huge 8 pound mass right in your cerebellum... Fact of the matter is your body has produced this and it is actually trying too **** you That is what depression is like Depression isn't a sudden disaster You go through your whole life thinking your okay maybe this feeling is just apart of getting older till one day you wake up and you wish you hadn't. All you've got is the Oxytocin blues and an appetite for Ritalin ****** to be able to face people and Prozac to make it through the day. Now can you imagine finding a cure too all the ailments of life, all the hypothetical and real problems.. something even Xanex, opiates or hallucinogens will never allow you really feel. The essence of another dancing throughout your mind, seeing significance in life even if not yours but that of another. when you find someone who makes you understand the definition of these words, when you find the one person you can't get out of your mind after taking pill after pill desperately trying to forget them, when you look at someone and can't see a flaw, when your with someone that makes you feel so much all at once that you have to stop and try to remember the last time you've actually been that happy or laughed that hard and can't think of another single moment like the one your in.. You've found your cure. Some of us don't

0

May 9, 2015

May 9, 2015 at 1:40 AM UTC

Pills

Imagine falling out of a window or getting in a car crash, break some bones, get a few stitches, scrape some skin You'll get a cast, few bandages and anesthetic Now Imagine cancer, a tumorous mass maybe somewhere in your brain or lungs.. not even noticeable to you let alone those around you then some day there's a huge 8 pound mass right in your cerebellum... Fact of the matter is your body has produced this and it is actually trying too **** you That is what depression is like Depression isn't a sudden disaster You go through your whole life thinking your okay maybe this feeling is just apart of getting older till one day you wake up and you wish you hadn't. All you've got is the Oxytocin blues and an appetite for Ritalin ****** to be able to face people and Prozac to make it through the day. Now can you imagine finding a cure too all the ailments of life, all the hypothetical and real problems.. something even Xanex, opiates or hallucinogens will never allow you really feel. The essence of another dancing throughout your mind, seeing significance in life even if not yours but that of another. when you find someone who makes you understand the definition of these words, when you find the one person you can't get out of your mind after taking pill after pill desperately trying to forget them, when you look at someone and can't see a flaw, when your with someone that makes you feel so much all at once that you have to stop and try to remember the last time you've actually been that happy or laughed that hard and can't think of another single moment like the one your in.. You've found your cure. Some of us don't

14

A ******* game of telephone you told your story down the wire knowing that you were a liar they look at me strangely their minds to shallow to see It’s all just a game, a ******* game of telephone Rhyme and Reason tangled in a web of miscommunication there's a rumour flying here about but you see I'm not too sure but, the rumour is I did it Is it the truth or something more? I remember playing telephone as a kid, way back in school when someone told you something and you told the next person as a rule the game was all a jumble as the first phrase got all changed It was my first time hearing rumors and how words are re-arranged there's a rumour flying round the town I think you may have heard but, you did not ask to hear a peep from me not one **** single word I'm honey on your tongues The muse for your thoughts It only sparks my sense of humor. Chinese whispers what do they say, "there's no truth in the patter at the end of the day." They choose to destroy because they know that they can. So never believe what the gossips have to say How do you know that's the truth anyway?

0

Jan 19, 2015

Jan 19, 2015 at 9:47 AM UTC

Untitled

A ******* game of telephone you told your story down the wire knowing that you were a liar they look at me strangely their minds to shallow to see It’s all just a game, a ******* game of telephone Rhyme and Reason tangled in a web of miscommunication there's a rumour flying here about but you see I'm not too sure but, the rumour is I did it Is it the truth or something more? I remember playing telephone as a kid, way back in school when someone told you something and you told the next person as a rule the game was all a jumble as the first phrase got all changed It was my first time hearing rumors and how words are re-arranged there's a rumour flying round the town I think you may have heard but, you did not ask to hear a peep from me not one **** single word I'm honey on your tongues The muse for your thoughts It only sparks my sense of humor. Chinese whispers what do they say, "there's no truth in the patter at the end of the day." They choose to destroy because they know that they can. So never believe what the gossips have to say How do you know that's the truth anyway?

32

Sometimes I just want to end it all just open my veins, let it all pour out, so I can rest, finally pull myself out of this mess I'm suffering a pain that nobody should go through, My sanity is gone and my mind's a disgrace, I've given up a hundred times, but I'm still here.. time to swallow my hypocrisy I hate myself for the things I've done Expectations of me exist They are like a cancerous cyst I hate myself sometimes for being who I am Life just seems grim

0

Dec 3, 2014

Dec 3, 2014 at 12:48 PM UTC

Untitled

Sometimes I just want to end it all just open my veins, let it all pour out, so I can rest, finally pull myself out of this mess I'm suffering a pain that nobody should go through, My sanity is gone and my mind's a disgrace, I've given up a hundred times, but I'm still here.. time to swallow my hypocrisy I hate myself for the things I've done Expectations of me exist They are like a cancerous cyst I hate myself sometimes for being who I am Life just seems grim

13

Let my words continue to carry beyond this page and into my veins for purpose, for clarity, for understanding of how lovely the days have become now that I've found you Let my words, on this page entwine in our veins and my worries slowly disappear now that Ive found you I wrote of you once before we met of how my words would blossom and expand and touch the sky just for you how I would have a million different combinations of letters and words.. a thousand ways, just to tell the world how I feel about you so here I am affection felt, feelings bared Love is suicide Hyperventilation, Cardiac arrest I am crippled by the absence of your warmth when you're not around Struggling to be free, Whilst chained to the ground Love is passion desire fueled, velvet kisses moaning pleasure, telling sighs firmly pressed, flawless motion sweaty bliss, drops of lust stained flesh with satin fervor Love is the hope 20 years from now I'll still be writing of you under the night sky whilst admiring the moon after we finally calmed our son's nerves down about his first day of school in the morning Love is idiotic Its so much easier to push someone away, than to let yourself become vulnerable To give them the power to hurt you. Showing your true feelings is relinquishing all your power. Trusting someone to not take advantage of your weaknesses. And that, is an absolutely ridiculous act Once weakness is spoted, it is used and abused, untill you are just a quivering mess lying on the floor, wondering how you ever let yourself get into such a situation. love is in its whole all of these things and I love you

0

Oct 11, 2014

Oct 11, 2014 at 10:42 PM UTC

the love i imagine

Let my words continue to carry beyond this page and into my veins for purpose, for clarity, for understanding of how lovely the days have become now that I've found you Let my words, on this page entwine in our veins and my worries slowly disappear now that Ive found you I wrote of you once before we met of how my words would blossom and expand and touch the sky just for you how I would have a million different combinations of letters and words.. a thousand ways, just to tell the world how I feel about you so here I am affection felt, feelings bared Love is suicide Hyperventilation, Cardiac arrest I am crippled by the absence of your warmth when you're not around Struggling to be free, Whilst chained to the ground Love is passion desire fueled, velvet kisses moaning pleasure, telling sighs firmly pressed, flawless motion sweaty bliss, drops of lust stained flesh with satin fervor Love is the hope 20 years from now I'll still be writing of you under the night sky whilst admiring the moon after we finally calmed our son's nerves down about his first day of school in the morning Love is idiotic Its so much easier to push someone away, than to let yourself become vulnerable To give them the power to hurt you. Showing your true feelings is relinquishing all your power. Trusting someone to not take advantage of your weaknesses. And that, is an absolutely ridiculous act Once weakness is spoted, it is used and abused, untill you are just a quivering mess lying on the floor, wondering how you ever let yourself get into such a situation. love is in its whole all of these things and I love you

36

forgive me but the pain I feel is inexplicable i don't even think you would understand forgive me if when I'm gone you'll miss the way my fingers traced lines on your skin forgive me if when I'm gone you'll miss the way my lips made you feel I wish I could describe but it's difficult to describe depression to someone who’s never been there because it’s not sadness, I know sadness. but this.. it’s that cold absence of feeling—that really hollowed-out feeling but with you, I was the person I wanted to be please forgive me if when I'm gone you'll miss the sound of my voice but I promise soon you will forget the sound of my voice and the feel of my touch as I did yours I drank my way out of every memory and I pretended nothing hurt until it didn't so forgive me perhaps we'll meet again when I'm better for you

0

Oct 9, 2014

Oct 9, 2014 at 11:27 AM UTC

Forgive me

forgive me but the pain I feel is inexplicable i don't even think you would understand forgive me if when I'm gone you'll miss the way my fingers traced lines on your skin forgive me if when I'm gone you'll miss the way my lips made you feel I wish I could describe but it's difficult to describe depression to someone who’s never been there because it’s not sadness, I know sadness. but this.. it’s that cold absence of feeling—that really hollowed-out feeling but with you, I was the person I wanted to be please forgive me if when I'm gone you'll miss the sound of my voice but I promise soon you will forget the sound of my voice and the feel of my touch as I did yours I drank my way out of every memory and I pretended nothing hurt until it didn't so forgive me perhaps we'll meet again when I'm better for you

16

most days i sleep my mornings away sleep the deep feeling of my pain away running away from my depression into the comfort of nothingness no sweet dreams no beautiful nightmares just a wide oblivion but today.. this morning I woke to a wonderful sunrise and pain so strong everything I've kept suppressed I felt every ounce of pain shooting throughout my body through every nerve I felt like i was drowning imagine three hundred pounds of held back emotions.. no longer just pain Throw me into the ocean sinking suffocating swarming me i can't breathe anymore

0

Jul 7, 2014

Jul 7, 2014 at 7:25 AM UTC

sunrise

most days i sleep my mornings away sleep the deep feeling of my pain away running away from my depression into the comfort of nothingness no sweet dreams no beautiful nightmares just a wide oblivion but today.. this morning I woke to a wonderful sunrise and pain so strong everything I've kept suppressed I felt every ounce of pain shooting throughout my body through every nerve I felt like i was drowning imagine three hundred pounds of held back emotions.. no longer just pain Throw me into the ocean sinking suffocating swarming me i can't breathe anymore

18