margaret-bailey-turner
American
Starting today - October 7, 2011 - I am on a poem-a-day quest. I will write one poem each day that expresses the way I'm feeling about relationships, food, cigarettes, humanity, and life in general. My hope is that this quest will help me find what it is that I'm missing in myself and that it will help me open my eyes to everything that goes on in life.
I'm not sure how you walked away.
I still don't think I can.
I've never begged the way I did
when I knew you were going to leave.
I wish I could at least watch
as you walked away,
but I know you won't let me.
I guess you're finished now,
but I'm still not done.
Oct 23, 2011
Oct 23, 2011 at 12:39 PM UTC
it's too bad,
blowing on the harmonica
that he's found
Louise can never be what he needs
and it's too bad
strumming the strings
that he knows
Johanna is all he'll ever want
and it's too bad
singing the song
that he knows
Johanna is gone
and all he wants is to see
Johanna not Louise,
but Louise can go
to the ends of the world
and Johanna knows she's what he wants
Johanna dances in his mind
and Louise walks a thin line
Johanna sways to and fro
and Louise stays put - everything just so
and all he wants to see
is Johanna, not Louise.
Oct 14, 2011
Oct 14, 2011 at 11:55 AM UTC
today it rained all day
the clouds covered the sky
with a harsh blanket
it was okay with me
because my soul was covered, too
with a harsh blanket.
but as we were talking
the blanket lifted a little
and as we were talking
the clouds moved a little
I felt the warm sunshine
come through the clouds
caress my skin with its warm rays
and I felt the sunshine of your love
(even though we’re both feeling dark)
come through the clouds in my soul
and it shone down to my toes
I can’t say I know where we’re going
or that I’m sure of much of anything,
but after I smiled at you today, I realized-
I’m sure of one thing
the sunshine of your love
can make even a cloudy day
not so very bad --
and the days when the sun comes out
make up for all of the days when it rains.
I’m sure of another thing:
I love you.
Oct 13, 2011
Oct 13, 2011 at 11:25 PM UTC
cowardice
in the blood
on the sharp edges
dripping
staining
fear,
resentment,
disappointment,
lonesome,
lost.
mostly cowardice.
who is she now?
a different person from before.
it would be okay
if they all forgot about her now
because they all know
what she used to be
that's who they love
that's who she loved.
she'll forget now.
because she knows
what she used to be.
Oct 13, 2011
Oct 13, 2011 at 2:01 AM UTC
baby, I’m a ********* for your love
baby, I’m a lover of your soul
baby, I’m a crawler to your door
baby, I’m a flier on your wings
I’m a crier of my tears
baby, I’m a sinner
I can’t win
baby, I’m addicted to your love
baby, I’m a lost soul
and baby, you’ve found me
baby, I’m an old woman
but baby, you know me
baby, I’m a crashed car
and baby, you’re my saving grace
I’m falling hard
and baby I’m hoping you’ll catch me
you already have a million times
Oct 11, 2011
Oct 11, 2011 at 12:55 AM UTC
I belong somewhere
where the wind blows
but never too hard
where the leaves change
but never fall
where the rain comes
but never pours
where the trees grow
but not too tall
where the people laugh
but not too hard
where the smells are good
but not too strong
where the love is huge
but never runs out
I belong nowhere
there is no nowhere
-- it's where I am.
Oct 10, 2011
Oct 10, 2011 at 11:59 PM UTC
I’ve figured it all out
that I love the stars,
but I love you more
the grass feels good
between my toes,
but there’s something
about you kissing them
that feels like heaven
(I don’t even like my toes)
and it’s so nice
to feel the wind in my hair,
but I like it best
when your fingers run through it
and I like to hold flowers,
but not as much
as I like to hold your hand
and you told me once
that between my fingers
is the perfect place for yours
and now I believe it more than ever
because the days that I spend
without you here
are the days I feel your hand in mine
I like to cry when no one’s watching,
but when you look at me
you don’t see tears
I like to feel the sun
warm on my skin,
but more than that
I love to feel your fingers
more gentle than the sunshine
more fluid than water
more perfect than the last bit
of a five thousand piece puzzle
and sometimes I feel
like I can’t go on,
but the things you say to me
wake me from bad dreams
and the words you write for me
swim in my mind
more expertly than the fish in the creek
where my feet wander
and I know it’s a lot
and I know there’s a journey
and I know it’s hard for you
because I feel the pain too
but I want to make the journey with you
and I want to hear your words every day
and the girls that look at you
don’t know that my heart is on your sleeve
and the ones that want to touch you
don’t know the way I long for you
the ones that watch your lips move
don’t know the time I’ve spent
wishing I could shrink so small
and perch expertly there
and feel your breath soft in my hair
and feel your words caress me as they come
and feel your tongue run across my shoulders
and they don’t know how it feels
to be away for days on end
nor the pain that sometimes comes
and they don’t know how nice it is
to be called yours
and I know they all long to be
the one on the other end of your “I love you”
and I hope forever that it’s me.
and I hope your love always flies to me
and I hope if I ever get the chance
to be that fairy and sit expertly
that if I ever have to fly away
I’ll fly with your love on my wings.
you should know that everywhere you go
my love sits wonderfully on each curl
and it rests gently on your tongue
and it comes out softly with your breath
and when you sleep, it walks brilliantly
on your eyelids
and through the lines of your lashes
and when you wake it’s in your toes
and when you play I’m in the strings
that feel your dedicated fingers
and I hope it’s alright
that even when I can’t be there
I find half of me is present wherever I may be,
but the rest runs with you.
and I’m sure you know that my heart is yours
and I pray you’ll hold it in your hands
forever and ever until the end of time
and if we see that day come,
I hope it’s with you
that I watch the angels fly
and I hope it’s with you that I feel water and fire
and I hope it’s with you that my soul flies away
and I hope you don’t mind that I want to be yours
because it’s too late now
to take it all back
and it’s too late now to forget the words
so please don’t leave without me
on your mind
and tangled in your hair
and between your fingers
and under your toes
and sitting daintily on your wonderful lips.
Oct 10, 2011
Oct 10, 2011 at 12:28 AM UTC
there’s a story
that comes down the line
from those that have forged
the road we’re traveling
we see that it is long
and watch how it winds
for miles and years in front of us
with each step
we conquer a twist
survive a turn
following the leaders
who’ve travelled before
leading our followers
who’ve not been this far
and though even we
are as unsure as they
you take my hand
and we run surely
through it all
stop along the way
to pick the flowers
that grow under our feet
to dance in the golden fields
and walk in the warm sunlight
we’ll skip in the rain
and play hop-scotch on stars.
on our road, rest isn’t needed
and our smiles fuel us
and our laughter leads us
and our tears give us courage
and in the end,
as the story goes,
there is no pain.
in the end,
as the story goes,
we’ll have nothing but smiles
and laughter will become music
and we’ll have every bit of courage
we could need
our story will be fed
to those that follow
just as we were fed
the story of those we followed
and everyone to follow after
will know it’s possible
and everyone to follow after
will know what it takes
and everyone to follow after
will find the courage
and everyone to follow after
we will see at the end
Oct 8, 2011
Oct 8, 2011 at 4:03 AM UTC
what is it that I’ve got to do?
tell me, love, and I will.
what is it that I've got to do?
to wake up underneath you tomorrow
and to see your smile before I go to sleep
and to close my eyes
to your voice.
I’ll walk a thousand miles,
I think you know.
I’ll swim a million oceans
if I can see you on the shore.
I’ll give it all up
if that’s what it takes
to feel my hand in yours.
greed isn’t my deadly sin,
neither lust -
but when it comes to you
I am the embodiment of many.
greed and lust and passionate fervor
and I think everyone notices.
I know they’re all tired
of me saying your name
but it’s the only one
that can slip comfortably between my lips
and sound the way it should
and it’s the only one that fills my heart
with what I want to feel every second.
Oct 7, 2011
Oct 7, 2011 at 9:34 PM UTC
it just so happens
that I lace you into
every song that I hear
I find your name
scrawled wonderfully
on the spine of every book.
it just so happens
the grooves in my records
all spell out your name
and it just so happens
that my fingerprints
can be found all over you
and that the smell
of your skin lingers
on mine for as long as I let it
but it just so happens
that I’d let it linger longer,
time, I find, makes it fade
and it just so happens
that the time has come
that it's gone from me
for now
and it just so happens
that for now I’m not sure
which way’s up and which is down
and your hand is missing from my life
and your words are spare
my time is long
and all I have to do
is wish you were here
and it just so happens
that tonight
I’ll fall asleep alone
I’ll invent your smell
and behind my closed eyes
I’ll watch you move
your perfect lips
to the words of my favorite song
and the words of yours
and it just so happens
that the tears will seep
from the corners of my eyes,
only to dampen
my flowered pillowcase
and it just so happens
that in the morning when I wake
I’ll still see you singing
I’ll hold on to the dream
for as long as I can.
I’ll remember the night you
told me
all the reasons
you knew you loved me.
back pushed against the door
in the dark, damp room.
I’ll remember the feeling
of knowing you are somewhere...
loving me
and I hope you know
wherever you may be
you should have that feeling
with you always.
and I hope you do always smile.
and I hope you do always laugh.
and I hope you do always love.
and I hope it’s always me.
but if it just so happens
that one day you wake and find
you can no longer say
your love is with me
I’ll set you free and watch you fly
and as you leave, I'm sure I'll cry -
but your wings spread in front of me
will be the happiest thing I’ll ever see
even while they’re flying
you away from me.
Oct 7, 2011
Oct 7, 2011 at 9:34 PM UTC