Lost in Paris,
But stuck here at home.
Envisioning the cobblestone streets,
Stopping at cafes to escape the heat.
Laughing and smiling in Paris.
The mental trip is a need,
Wanting to be
Lost in Paris.
But stuck here instead,
In Cali.
May 10, 2018
May 10, 2018 at 2:17 PM UTC
Soft fingers twirl and intertwine
Yelled at for “PDA”
Laughing it off, happy inside.
Saying bye just to see each other at the end of the day.
Promises of the future
Maybe forever together
Holding hands
Making silly plans
Going to school dances
Smiling together, laughing.
Wanting it to stay the same
Till the end of your days.
.....
Thought you were safe
Nothing could hurt you in this place
Head over heels for one another
A flame that burned too bright to be smothered.
Making faces across the classroom
Texting back and forth, messages zoom.
Wanting to kiss and hug
And send all your love.
Focused only on them
They’re your shining gem.
Thoughts are suddenly interrupted
You can’t seem to focus on what the intercom just said.
Hearing bangs and alarms
Trying to grab ahold of their arm
You can’t lose them no matter what
This uncomfortable feeling in your gut
Hearing but not believing
It’s not real, what you’re seeing.
Your high school sweetheart
Heart pulling apart
All those plans that stood for forever
Now discarded, stand for never.
Can’t see them after this class or the next
No more loving texts
.....
Screaming and blubbering
Can’t think straight for anything.
All you know is they won’t move
Last breaths used holding you.
Always told your love wouldn’t last
Didn’t think it’d be over this fast.
Weeks spent wondering
Would it have been forever if not for this one thing?
Would this even have occurred,
If gun control laws were ensured and enforced?
Feb 26, 2018
Feb 26, 2018 at 2:45 PM UTC
I stare out the window of my usual spot
Sitting here at jack, thinking for naught
In about two years i will have graduated.
Excluded from this world with which i have Become infatuated.
It’ll all be over.
And these are the best years of your life
What will i say i did, or learned?
How many important things will come to mind?
I sit Here alone now.
Suddenly feeling so alone
Both at school and home.
What happened to the dramatic final bow?
Will i feel This alone the rest of my life?
Will it ever change
Or will it always stay the same.
I feel Like I’ve been stabbed with a knife.
My future that I’ve looked forward to for so long
Only a trace, a taste, the rest is gone.
Time seems to move too fast.
Or maybe I’m just stuck in a trance.
16 years come and gone.
To do it all over again, my soul yearns and longs.
But i can Only admit I’ve done this to myself
My hiding away on the high up shelf.
I left When i got Attached,
Being able to stay is something I lack.
So yes i am Alone,
Both at school and at home.
But I’ve brought this upon myself
So I’ll deal with this hell in and of itself.
Feb 22, 2018
Feb 22, 2018 at 6:10 PM UTC
It was an accident
“An accident?”
An accident.
It was an accident
My finger slipped
I tumbled down
Onto the ground.
“Onto the ground?”
Onto the ground.
It was an accident
“An accident?”
An accident
It was an accident
My finger slipped
So the knife tumbled down.
“Onto the ground?”
Onto the ground.
It was an accident
“An accident?”
An accident.
It was an accident
My finger slipped
I threw myself down on the ground.
Wait no-
It was an accident
My finger slipped
I fell down to the ground.
It was an accident
“An accident?”
An accident
It was an accident
My finger slipped
As i bled out on the ground
Staring at my phone not moving around.
Wait no-
It was an accident
My finger slipped
My phone was far away.
It was an accident
“An accident?”
An accident.
It was an accident
My finger slipped
I forgot to lock the door
“You forgot to lock the door?”
I forgot to lock the door.
But i also forgot to push you away more.
It was an accident
“An accident?”
An accident.
It was an accident
My slinger flipped
....
It was an accident
My flipped slinger
.....
It wasn’t an accident
“I know.”
I’m sorry it wasn’t an accident.
“I knew your finger didn’t slip.”
I’m sorry i lied about it being an accident
“It’s okay
You just didn’t know what to say.”
My finger slipped
But it wasn’t an accident.
Feb 20, 2018
Feb 20, 2018 at 1:11 AM UTC
I’m sorry,
I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry
I was going to
But I got stressed
And i got depressed
And i forgot.
I’m so sorry
Sorry won’t fix it i know.
I found things to love about you
I swear I did.
I thought you had left me though
I thought it was finished.
I dont deserve your time or another chance.
But
If i text you will you answer?
Feb 20, 2018
Feb 20, 2018 at 12:59 AM UTC
Casually not okay
I mean granted you’re allowed to say anything you say.
Yeah i know I’m not perfect I’m not preferred
And I’ll be honest it’s expected so it’s not like it actually hurts.
I’m not tall enough, I’m not strong enough.
Which makes dating pretty tough and rough.
Short guys get the short end of the stick
Fitting isn’t it?
I should work out more i should eat better.
Would that mean i could go get her?
She’s out of my league to begin with
And me, stealing her heart? That’s a myth.
I’m the one she’s interested in,
But I’m not the one she really likes.
Feb 15, 2018
Feb 15, 2018 at 10:49 PM UTC
I wanted it to work just as much as you
And i thought maybe you just didn’t want it to.
I know that it hurts
And we could’ve made it work.
I get that yeah it’s kind of over,
But i also had fun while it lasted.
At least i found some new music to blast and
I want to thank you for talking to me,
And showing me some things that I didn’t see.
I still think you’re cute and a wonderful person.
You are hilarious and lots of fun.
So thank you, for being around
Even though we don’t even live in the same town.
If this is goodbye, then i bow and wish you farewell
And good luck in your journeys through life, however many times it may seem like hell.
Feb 9, 2018
Feb 9, 2018 at 9:25 AM UTC
We have a toxic relationship
And i wish saying it would change it,
But it won’t.
And i need to give up hope.
Because i cant Breathe anymore,
Choking on the smoke.
And i get it, you’re either too grumpy or not bored,
So you don’t want to deal with me.
But getting it doesn’t always change what i see.
You can’t say I’m not one thing,
Just to turn around and use similar terms.
That’s not what i deserve.
Feb 6, 2018
Feb 6, 2018 at 4:50 PM UTC
It’s time for me to disappear
I’ve overstayed my place i fear.
It’s time to once again recluse
Rather than tying a noose.
It was lovely while it lasted
But the pain is started to imbed
So I’ll leave instead.
Hide within myself again
The way that it’s always been.
I’ll put on a fake little smile
No one will catch on, at least for awhile.
Feb 5, 2018
Feb 5, 2018 at 5:02 PM UTC