The bad days keep recycling themselves
Each time i attempt to bandage them up
They turn into stories i put on my shelf
Gathering many the numbers add up
Nightmares follow me into the night
As terrified as i am i hang on tight
i hope and wish that it'll all go away
but there isn't a day without a fight
im losing myself in so many ways
im always repeating that im okay
I have battled this for so many days
maybe its time to admit that im not
its been awhile since i have wrote
pages are piled within my head
if there was a way i could let it all out
tonight i wouldnt make it to bed
Sep 5, 2015
Sep 5, 2015 at 11:46 PM UTC
I have come to realization
that no matter the circumstance,
Any situation is encounterable
As long as your by my side,
we have climbed mountains
And burried ourselves deep,
Yet still remained connected
In the most vulernable way,
I love you more than what
the moon and stars are able to hold,
Every day allows us another journey
Not a moment with you shall
ever go to waste
Aug 19, 2015
Aug 19, 2015 at 8:54 PM UTC
It was our first real fight that hurt the most. The look in your eyes when you spoke those cruel words and your evil smile that followed. I had never been in such a situation for this time it had been my fault you hurt so badly and I didn't know how to make it stop. You said things that you knew would eat and tear at my skin. You spoke so freely and cold hearted for a handsome one like you. I sat tuned in waiting for the force of your words to send me flying accrossed the room. Little did you know my chest was caving and anxiety gave me no control. I couldn't get out a single word without choking upon the continuous apologies that meant nothing to you. I sat so little in front of your widened structure and muscular arms. You had your own shield made and I was just a little bit of nothing. The power you had drove me insane and I knew then that I was ******* because I have never loved an individual so much that I became vulnerable for their forgiveness. And here I was on my hands and knees begging oh so badly. I told myself I would not allow this to become the ending of us for we have so many more obstacles in life to face and to let this, out of any, tear what we have apart would be foolishness. I do not believe there is any right way to go about this mess I've caused but I'm only hoping this is the best way. I love you dearly and I'm ready for you to come home when you are.
Jun 28, 2015
Jun 28, 2015 at 4:48 PM UTC
With you it's easy
Easy to forget all of the complications
And hardships holding me back
I've been stuck in this hole
For such a long time now
But you're somehow able
To make this hole not seem like
such a hole anymore
It doesn't feel small or compacted
Like the walls go on for an eternity
Above my head
It's all opening up
And life as I want it to be
Is becoming an option
I have found this passion
Deep down inside of me
That told me to just keep climbing
For pain and hurt is inevitable
See there will come a time
When I'll hurt more than I have today
And that's when
I'll look back at this night
And remember that I decided
For my own sake,
To never stop climbing
And always strive for greatness
Because that's the least
That any of us deserve
May 7, 2015
May 7, 2015 at 3:14 PM UTC
The hours past midnight
Have become my worst enemy
And longest nightmare I wish to someday wake up from
Cravings become addictions
And my love for you quadruples in the matter of minutes
Breathing in oxygen is not enough
And neither is hearing your voice
I miss the toxin that filled my lungs
All of those lonely nights I spent without you
I miss your presence here in bed
And the capability to get comfortable
I dread for the days I will awake from this horrible nightmare
And become the love your body craves
When you'll be by my side on nights like these
And the withdrawals will be gone
Dec 28, 2014
Dec 28, 2014 at 1:51 AM UTC
you became a ghost the day
you let go of all that was left
and filled the void with
a more shallow hole than the one
that deprived the love
you could not hold onto
the distance between life and death
grew to be
a walking advantage for yourself
and seemingly you were okay with that
I watched you drift away
trying to hold onto what remains
but you slowly fell out of grip
and I found myself lying on the ground
where you last took a real breath
long before anxiety took over
and your chest caved within
a time before our love destroyed
who we were
and who together we shall be
but now your soul still lingers
around the room our relationship grew upon
keeping temperatures cold
and always reminding me
our love was worth the pain I feel tonight
Dec 17, 2014
Dec 17, 2014 at 10:57 AM UTC
I once tried to erase our memories
and found myself
cutting away at my skin
for the coldness without you
was unbearable
and I found my fist reentering the walls repeatedly
trying to block out the image I saw
of us in the room together
I washed my sheets
and tossed and turned late at night
because my bed never felt the same without your presence
my chest caved in every waking morning
without you here
I honestly don't know how I'm still managing
or how my heart remains beating
without the blood your love supplied
my body is drained
and lungs will soon reach zero capacity
if I continue smoking the nicotine
my body craves
and I can never inhale enough toxic
to forget the memories
you wrote within me
but the first time I tried
did not stop me from trying again
so here I am
with cut up skin and ****** knuckles
lying cold in the sheets
with a broken heart that's barely holding on
and filling my lungs with a poison
heartache taught me to love
for I can not forget
Dec 16, 2014
Dec 16, 2014 at 10:38 PM UTC
my bones are weakening
and my spine can not accompany
the weight your name carries
along every turn and edge
within my fragile whole
for I traced your name along
the parts of myself I could not
hold together
you gave me a meaning to life
that made a lot more sense
than the plan I had imagined
without you here my body aches
in all the empty spots
you no longer occupy
a stream of tears and loss of words
now haunts the place where I always found myself looking for you
leaving me here to feel
more cold and alone than ever before
and if it is to be as true as you say
meaning my existence is very well numb to you
I'll now allow myself to believe
the love was only one sided
you were nothing but a human toxic
eating at my very own soul
and I allowed you in
but never more will this continue
I'll learn to manage fine without
like the nicotine my body craves
you were only another tempting withdraw
Dec 15, 2014
Dec 15, 2014 at 11:00 PM UTC
our relationship was built poetically
allowing our deepest thoughts to tear us apart
for I was fragile you touched my soul gently
in hope to save ourselves from future part
together enduring a graveled road
a chance for love was rather difficult
the opportunities came in quite a load
all that failed was at my fault
though your absence was my only fear
I opened the door that let you walk
now glancing back into the mirror
they were my mistakes that you would mock
my love for you has grown to be
more than just a poetic melody
Dec 14, 2014
Dec 14, 2014 at 2:46 PM UTC
it's three am that I hate most,
a time where all my feelings
drain from my sinful soul,
allowing the darkness to retrieve it's way back into the vast space,
when memories flood the page
and my chest caves from
the damage you've done to my heart,
three am is the time where my life
falls out of place
and I loose control of all emotion,
my mind is screaming and heart is racing
I hope and dream for any way out
but I'm stuck living in the everlasting hole my chest occupies
that continuously swallows me in
night by night,
always at three am
Dec 7, 2014
Dec 7, 2014 at 3:00 AM UTC