She said she wanted to be treated like a goddess-
So I praised her mind, her humor, her beauty.
Yet she wasn't happy.
I offered her my love, my time, gifts, and acceptance
But she was unimpressed by it.
Head bent I worshipped her body
And she wanted more.
I wished to give her everything-
I was so devoted to her.
I tried to write what she meant to me- explain how I'd be lost without her.
Still my words didn't seem to matter.
She wanted to be treated like a goddess.
She wanted sacrifice and pain.
So she ripped out my heart
And spat out my name.
Aug 16, 2016
Aug 16, 2016 at 12:57 AM UTC
You bit my lips,
Then traced them with your fingertips.
You left me speechless.
You pierced my skin,
Like breaking in,
Straight through my defenses,
You made me helpless.
You ripped out my eyes, so I couldn't see.
I became blind so I could choose to believe
That you could choose to suffer loyalty,
That you were actually looking at me.
And you numbed my brain,
My thoughts entangled,
My sense disabled
It felt like a migraine.
I covered my ears,
From your words I couldn't bear to hear.
You were bored by my tears.
I once held you dear.
You were becoming my worst fear.
My heart you hurt worst of all.
The pain was often dull, but it dragged on and on.
Jun 7, 2016
Jun 7, 2016 at 1:06 AM UTC
You kissed my forehead,
Imprinting the feel of your lips onto my brain.
You kissed my stomach,
And gave it butterflies.
You kissed my lips,
With yours ever full of lies.
You kissed the lids of my eyes,
And I saw our future together.
You kissed my neck,
And I craved you.
You kissed my hand,
Though you usually held it.
Last time you did this you kissed me goodbye,
This time you didn't even smile.
That's how I knew you meant it,
And that this time it was permanent.
Apr 6, 2016
Apr 6, 2016 at 8:54 PM UTC
I sing myself ballads,
And cry o'er your letters.
You said this would be better,
Did you forget what we had?
Lovesick, delirious.
I'm thinking of us,
All of that love
That there once was.
Dear, you've forgotten me.
Stranger, you loved me.
Apr 3, 2016
Apr 3, 2016 at 11:24 PM UTC
It's been five months.
It hurts to even write that, more than my flowery words can describe.
Such a long time,
Yet it feels like yesterday that you were mine.
I've been lying.
For five months I've been telling them I'm over it. Over you.
I was lying to myself too.
The truth, dear, is that it still hurts just as much right now as the moment when you said you didn't love me.
God, I remember it perfectly.
And secretly, even more pathetically, I still love you as much as I did then,
And as I did five months in.
I thought it would help if I hated you,
But that's exhausting.
I thought I needed time alone,
I made myself lonely so I could be whole on my own.
I thought I needed to move on,
I've done that, like I ought.
My darling, he's sweet, and smart, he makes me laugh, why is it not enough?
He's good but we'll never be in love.
I thought I just needed time.
But it's been five months.
Mar 24, 2016
Mar 24, 2016 at 10:48 PM UTC
The sadistic little cherub.
Inflicting painful love.
He isn't sensible, he isn't kind.
He doesn't care- for heart or mind.
He flies on fluffy angelic wings.
And golden arrows he absently flings.
He hits his target every time.
To make a sane man's pain sublime.
Into the hearts of unsuspecting victims.
He pierces and then watches
them.
Falling in with reckless loves.
Fools and martyrs they become.
And all for a baby angel's fun.
Feb 29, 2016
Feb 29, 2016 at 12:51 AM UTC
It's too late now, the damage is done.
A deal has been won,
My heart for your soul.
Jan 20, 2016
Jan 20, 2016 at 12:08 AM UTC
I don't miss you.
I miss being held really tight.
I don't miss you,
I miss having someone to sleep beside at night.
I don't miss you,
I miss being kissed sweetly.
I miss hearing someone say they love me.
I miss laughing together,
I miss arguing about who was funnier.
I miss being myself with someone else,
I miss having someone who knew me so well.
But I don't miss you.
I don't miss being ignored,
I don't miss wondering if I was truly yours,
I don't miss finding naked pictures of other girls,
I don't miss you acting so bored.
I don't miss your hurtful words,
I don't miss the broken oaths you swore.
I don't miss you.
I miss your deep blue eyes though,
They were so calming.
I miss you giving me the fluffier pillow,
A small gesture, but it wasn't wasted on me.
I miss your kisses on my forehead and nose.
I miss your laugh, your smile,
I cherished those.
I missed you singing to me,
Such a terrible voice- I found it so comforting.
I miss the hands that held mine,
I miss how our bodies intertwined,
I miss seeing the love in your eyes.
Maybe I do…
No. I can't miss you.
You don't miss me.
Being hung up on you would make me vulnerable, weak.
Something I can't allow myself to be.
That's how boys like you hurt girls like me.
I don't miss you, really
I miss who I thought you were,
not who you turned out to be.
Dec 19, 2015
Dec 19, 2015 at 11:49 PM UTC
I know he'll never make me happy.
He'll never make me laugh until I can't breathe.
He'll never get past the walls I've built up to protect a heart that's been broken already.
I'll never truly love him.
But that's okay; tolerable.
Because he'll also never hurt me.
He'll never make me happy but I don't care.
As long as he never makes me miserable.
Dec 18, 2015
Dec 18, 2015 at 2:33 AM UTC
What more can you even take?
**** you for making me feel like a mistake.
I would still give you everything-
If you just wouldn't take all of it away.
I wish I didn't still care so much about you.
Maybe, maybe you don't love me,
But you could still care?
You no longer want me,
But when I'm hurt you could still be there.
No. That's silly.
I'm sorry, I know you don't love me,
And I shouldn't love you.
You couldn't have hurt me so much when I was hopeless-
When I had nothing to lose.
**** you for showing me what it was to feel bliss,
And then to feel worthless and used.
I hate that even now I need you.
You made me happy, you made me pathetic.
**** you for hurting me,
Just know you'll regret it.
Because you always do.
It's a cycle, I know you.
What's most messed up is I want you to come back again-
Want to give you another chance.
I remember when you held my broken pieces in those cold hands of yours,
Let's try again and maybe the pain will stop before my heart does.
My fleeting uncaring weak dear love.
No. Not mine.
But I'm yours.
Forever yours,
Nov 12, 2015
Nov 12, 2015 at 3:23 AM UTC